Tips
Oct 7, 2022 14:33
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That said, I’ve noticed quite a few female contributors say that they really like their papas (male supporters). What does that actually feel like?
① The same kind of feeling as with a boyfriend
② I want to see him because we click and I respect him, with the understanding that he gives me an allowance
③ I want to see him often because the allowance is very generous (I want the money)
④ Something other than ①–③
Sometimes a PJ tells me she likes me, but I get the feeling she means it in the sense of ③.
However, when I read the answers written by some of the contributors, they seem more like ① or ②. It feels kind of dreamy, and I find myself imagining what that must be like.
It makes me want to become the kind of person a PJ could feel that way about, too.
That said, does something like that really happen through an escort dating club?
If it does, I’d appreciate it if you could tell me what made you fall for him.
※I assume cleanliness, kindness, good conversation, and compatibility in an adult relationship (intimate) are prerequisites, though…
12 answers
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m #2. That’s enough for me.
Also, since there’s a significant age gap between us, neither of us wants anything more than that…
Other
I don’t have a papa, but ideally, I’d like ① or ②.
It seems like every day would be more fun if I found someone I really liked…
A~Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月1程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
It may surprise you, but I think No. ④ is actually pretty common.
The allowance isn’t particularly high, but being with that person doesn’t feel like a burden.
That’s pretty much the line I aim for, haha.
I’m just a normal “nice guy.”
Some women who usually date for a pay-per-meeting allowance of 10 will still see me for 5 because I’m a nice guy, we only meet about once a month, and I don’t constantly message them, so it doesn’t feel like a burden. It’s probably just, “Well, I guess meeting him once in a while is okay.”
By the way:
① I don’t think many are looking for a boyfriend-like relationship.
② I’m sure some value having someone they can respect, but that’s not really what I’m aiming for.
③ Even if the allowance is good, you probably wouldn’t want to be around someone with a strong odor or extreme preferences. If a woman can tolerate that, I feel like she’d make more money working in the adult entertainment industry…
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
You all seem to want to categorize everything, haha.
People’s feelings have different degrees of intensity, so things can be pretty ambiguous—like liking someone at first and then coming to dislike them.
I actually feel more at ease when an allowance is part of the arrangement. You don’t cross that line, and I think it’s possible to like someone without getting serious about them.
I’m about the same age as the person asking the question, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve stopped feeling jealous. Since this activity allows me to see multiple people, “a sense of calm” is probably the phrase that fits best.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを!
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中!
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです!
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
For both men and women, it’s probably either pattern ② or ③.
With ③, though, both people end up keeping their options open and comparing each other, which feels kind of lonely.
Aside from patterns ①–③, there are also relationships that go beyond a boyfriend or husband—someone who becomes indispensable in life. It may be temporary or nearly permanent, but it’s an unbreakable bond where you become life partners whenever needed. Since you’re neither lovers nor family, it can be a mutually convenient relationship where both sides enjoy the benefits.
For example, one woman asked him for advice about renovating her house, so he introduced her to a construction company. Apparently, she trusts him more than her husband with all kinds of things, from family secrets to personal concerns.
Even with younger women, it can be a pretty good relationship: you support them in various aspects of their private lives, and they support you in return.
Where you meet someone has nothing to do with it.
Other
I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.
In the past, I liked his natural scent (it smelled good), our intimate relationship, and how generous he was. I guess it’s about time I graduated from Universe, too.
Even if people tell me I don’t need to show up as an answerer, I’ll keep doing it~
Because it’s fun.
To the questioner: If you want romance, don’t focus on looks and youth. You’re old enough to know that much…
美惺(みさと)
?
Send a reverse offer to this responder
Other
② I want to see him because we click and I respect him, with the understanding that he’ll give me an allowance.
④ Something else.
On top of that, I want him to truly value me, show it through his actions rather than just his words, and treat me as an equal—not in a self-centered way that suits only the papa.
That’s how I feel.
The allowance isn’t everything, but sometimes there are men who want a woman from the club to get close to them like a regular couple, without offering any allowance. I feel that men like that should look for someone outside the club instead. I’m not talking about you, of course.
Let’s treat each other well while respecting proper manners.
Other
I’m a female member, Potassium.
If I had to choose, I’d say option ②.
If he’s married, there’s no possibility of marriage down the line anyway
(I’m not trying to steal someone else’s husband),
so I feel like the allowance draws a line around the relationship.
That’s why, even if I somehow came to want to spend the rest of my life with my papa, I absolutely wouldn’t act on it, because ours is a relationship where I receive money. I couldn’t be the reason he got divorced.
So, for the sake of my own mental well-being now and in the future, receiving an allowance is a given.
(If I receive money when we eventually part ways, I’ll feel at least a little grateful no matter what kind of person he is, and I won’t resent him. Ending things with both sides holding a grudge would just leave a bad feeling for everyone, right?)
My papa and I are soulmates. He’s not my boyfriend, and it’s not about prioritizing money. I value spending our time creating a kind of value that only he and I can create—something beyond money! Eggplant! Eggplant! Simmered eggplant is delicious, eggplant!
As for what matters to me...
Hmmmm...
・Treating me as an equal
・Trying to learn from what I have to say, too
・Being willing to go along with silly things
・Trying to stay humble and restraining himself so he doesn’t become conceited
・Being able to keep up with my conversations and making an effort to understand me? lol (My topics jump all over the place.)
・Having fair skin!! lolol
・When I suddenly start asking “Why? Why?”, explaining things to me properly and logically, I guess...
Since I expect those things from him, I also try to be capable of doing the same.
Full brain power—spinning round and round! Gyu-rin, gyu-rin~!
These are just my own feelings and personal theories—not anything objective.
Other
②.
Or because I’m able to gain things that money can’t buy.
However, it seems my partner sees it as being closer to ①. When they say things like that, I just smile without denying it.
Akari
🏅 日没を遅らせる唯一の方法は日没に向かって走り続けることだ
名古屋支店登録で、男性会員としての登録名もマックさんです。コラム多数書いてますのでよろしければご参照ください。20代の細身女性が好みで逆オファーには前向きです。経験無いまたは少ない方大歓迎。
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
Lately, I’ve been thinking about two things. First, love between a man and a woman is nothing more than a morning glory that blooms in that particular moment. Eternal love doesn’t exist, and after six months—especially with younger women—she may have grown into an entirely different person. So you should simply appreciate the flower while it’s in bloom. One day, one life; one day, one love.
The other is that, men may be the same too, but there seem to be two types of women: those who, after having sex with one man, can’t be intimate with anyone else—whether it’s a boyfriend or a papa (a male supporter)—and those who can. Some girls only realize after starting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) that they belong to the former group. If you meet someone like that, you have to think carefully and take various responsibilities seriously. We’re their seniors in life, after all, so we need to show the dignity that comes with that.
What I’m trying to say is this: rather than women who simply become lovey-dovey in the moment, a papa may need to be more considerate toward women who can only have sex with one man but happened to wander into the world of compensated dating. That’s what papas should pay attention to—not whether she likes them or whether it’s just pseudo-romance.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Sorry for answering as a man, but I’d say I’m definitely type ②.
There are naturally women who seem more like type ③, but relationships with them usually don’t last because they tend to be pushed aside by women who see things more like type ②.
If someone starts acting like type ①, I back off.
Personally, I think the key is to know your place and not expect type ①, but instead be someone they click with and can respect.
Other
② I want to see him because we click and I respect him, on the understanding that he gives me an allowance.
Without an allowance, it would just be an affair, which I think would be far too painful.
Besides, from the moment we met through a dating club, I feel that an affair-like relationship is the premise, so it can never really be the same as having a regular boyfriend.
It’s not about whether being someone’s boyfriend or being in an affair relationship is better. There are couples who remain close and stay together for a long time even in an affair relationship, aren’t there?
I don’t know much about it, but maybe someone like Minomon○ and the Ginza hostess… That’s the kind of relationship I’d like, haha.
(I’ve told my papa that I’m dating him as ①, as a boyfriend. From the papa’s perspective, I don’t think there’s much difference between ① and ②, but what do you think?)