Tips
Sep 29, 2022 22:11
6 answers
Other
If I were a parent, before my child got married, I’d invite their partner over to cook together, and I might even take a family trip with them to see whether I could trust them as a person, with marriage in mind.
I’d want to know who they are and what their values are now, rather than focus on their past.
For the record, I’ve actually had someone investigate me through a private investigator once. He told me about it that very day.
Other
I think Kaz is right.
I don’t think I’d investigate someone when my own son was getting married. If he chose her himself, I’d be fine with that.
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
These days, the only time someone would probably hire a private investigator is if the man’s family is particularly wealthy.
If they did investigate, it would essentially be a background check, so they could probably uncover past papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) if there were any traces left behind.
Unless you’ve been posting papa-katsu reports on Twitter saying things like “made tens of thousands,” you should be fine.
👨 Male
Universe member
I never looked into any of my sons’ wives. If my son thought she was right for him, that was good enough for me.
Even if someone did papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), if she genuinely engaged with her papa (a male supporter) and dated him sincerely, I think she probably learned a lot from the experience. I believe it’s fine as long as she puts what she learned to use in her life going forward.
That’s simply my view that the present matters more than the past. It’s not that I’m overlooking it just because I do baba-katsu myself.
Other
I’m Potassium, a female member.
I’m unmarried and don’t have children, so I can’t really say from personal experience. This is based on my parents, who are in their 60s–70s.
My parents would have everything checked through a private investigation agency (and they actually have). Whether they approve of the marriage or whether the couple plans to have children or not, they’ll try to find out as much as possible about medical history and the other person’s parents too. (Terrifying, right? LOL)
They probably don’t even know the term papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so they don’t know that their daughter is doing it. And even if a relative’s fiancé had been involved in papa-katsu, they probably wouldn’t know how to investigate it because they’re unfamiliar with the term.
I’m not even sure whether there’s a way to find out in the first place. Unless photos have been leaked online, I feel like they’d never know.
That’s just my personal opinion.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
They may look into your current situation, but there’s no real way to find out about your past.