I recently started having symptoms from disinfectants and alcohol, and after seeing a doctor, I was diagnosed with an alcohol allergy. When I told my papa (a male supporter) about my allergy to alcohol, he said, “You can’t be picky,” but he won’t listen even when I explain that it isn’t a matter of preference—it’s an allergy.

You were seeing someone who was incredibly ignorant. People can die from allergic reactions, so please be careful. Calling an allergy a mere preference... When someone is this ignorant, all you can do is laugh. Actually, I have allergies too, and I’ve gone into anaphylactic shock once. My papas accommodate them by avoiding those foods. As for the papa you’re asking about, send him a LINE message saying: “Anyone who calls an allergy a preference isn’t someone who truly cares about me, so I can’t continue seeing you. Thank you for everything up to now.”

If you can’t communicate in Japanese, I don’t think communicating with that person is possible. I wouldn’t even know what language to use. Otherwise, I think you should just firmly refuse to drink. But if it’s too much of a hassle, it’s fine to end things. It’s unfortunate that it ultimately comes down to how patient you’re willing to be.

I don’t sense even the slightest consideration for the other person, so I think it’s best to say goodbye. Their behavior is far too low-class. Since this could genuinely put your life at risk, you don’t need to hesitate. Please take good care of yourself. Akari

Men with alcohol dependence will keep drinking even when their doctor tells them to stop. In that case, he may just tell you that a minor allergy shouldn’t be a big deal. It seems like your only option may be to make it clear that you’ll end the relationship if he doesn’t stop.

He already gives off the vibe of being a bad papa, so I feel like bringing a medical certificate would be pointless. I think it would be best to end things.

If you have allergies and a doctor’s diagnosis to back them up, just explain that. If they don’t believe you, show them the medical certificate—on the understanding that the other person covers any necessary expenses. It’s actually pretty simple. But there’s a lot of “tough it out” thinking in this world. The Showa generation is especially bad for it, but I’m surprised to see it still lingering among younger generations too. It’s really ridiculous. Are people still operating at that level? Pain and discomfort can be controlled. They’re just warnings telling you to maintain a stable condition so you can survive, and because they’re designed to err on the side of safety, you can ignore them and push a little further. That’s what the Showa generation’s idea of “working hard” really amounts to. But those warnings aren’t wrong, so you can’t keep pushing forever. If you ignore them and continue, eventually you’ll find yourself staring into the abyss of death. The real skill is knowing how close you can get without dying, controlling yourself to maximize performance, while not forcing people who aren’t that resilient. That delicate control is where the real challenge lies, yet telling everyone indiscriminately to “try harder” is just stupid. If someone isn’t slacking off in secret, is always working hard—so hard you wonder when they ever sleep—and then tells you they never get tired no matter how much they work, can’t sleep, and have forgotten basic bodily functions like eating and using the bathroom, then yes, that’s seriously dangerous. People who can’t recognize those signs have no business pushing others to their limits. And what I’ve described is only the most basic stuff. We’re already in an age where this kind of technical understanding is essential. Simply driving younger workers into the ground based on some old man’s glorified analogy of his own life is hopelessly outdated. That era is over. In fact, it’s precisely because people with only that level of understanding push amateurs too hard that we end up with overwork-related deaths. Google’s Project Aristotle, for example—that’s basic knowledge by now. It was announced a full ten years ago. The world has changed dramatically since the 2000s. We’re living in an era that will be recorded in history books. Just compare how much society has changed over the past 20 or 30 years with the Industrial Revolution or the Meiji Restoration. Especially anyone over 40 needs to completely forget what they were like when they were young and relearn everything from scratch. We need to recognize that—and act accordingly. Taro

I think the best option is to show him your medical certificate. If he still doesn’t believe you and pressures you to drink, keep proof that you showed him the certificate. At that point, I guess your only option would be to collapse right in front of him and hold him responsible… Personally, I’d probably just break things off. I can’t be bothered to overthink it or put myself in danger.

Don’t you get an allergic reaction to that papa? lol

Not knowing the difference between dislikes and allergies is unbelievable. With an allergy, there’s obviously a risk it could even be fatal, so you should explain that clearly. But if someone can’t understand even that, I feel like there’s no point in saying anything to them. First of all, what’s wrong with having foods you dislike? Still, with someone like that, I think it’s perfectly fine to say nothing and simply part ways.

You can figure that out for yourself, can’t you? “I can’t date someone who treats allergies as a matter of personal preference.”