Question 1
I can’t speak for the men, but if you want to receive offers, I think it’s worth being proactive and sending plenty of them.
Question 2
I’ve never wanted to meet someone based solely on the wording of their comment. However, there was one case where a comment made me realize, “I’d overlooked a woman who’s my type.”
It’s better than not commenting at all, so I think you should do it with that mindset.
I stopped making my profile public because I never received any “You’re lovely” comments from women who were my type. I only disclose it when making an offer.
Basically, I think falling for someone is largely an illusion. So at first, it’s best not to show them what goes on behind the scenes. The club understands that too, so even if they’re being nice to everyone, they won’t expose you. But if you overdo it and end up surrounded by enemies, you’ll have to deal with that yourself.
As for the content of your messages: my profile isn’t public, so I’ve never received comments like “You seem wonderful,” “You’re an idiot,” or “You look like you smell lol.” But if a comment really resonated with me, I think it would be because it had a sense of story.
I think relationships deepen emotionally through the accumulation of stories. If you meet every time as planned without any problems, it’s comfortable, but it doesn’t leave much of an impression. On the other hand, being extremely late, getting drenched in a sudden downpour, or having some unexpected trouble makes the experience more memorable. Personal stories can help too. People have all kinds of traits, but when you discover that you share some incredibly rare characteristic, it makes you think, “Huh,” and sticks with you.
I once met a woman who had trauma from domestic violence in her childhood. If we sat across from each other, she would get nervous and couldn’t even look at my face. She said sitting side by side at a counter was fine, so I searched for counter-seat restaurants and continued taking her on dates, thinking, “What kind of restriction is this?”
One time, because of the restaurant’s seating arrangement, we ended up sitting at an L-shaped table. She looked incredibly happy and said, “This is perfect!” At a counter, she couldn’t see my face, but with an L-shaped seat she could see me properly without having to sit directly across from me, so she didn’t feel scared. She said it was a major discovery. I didn’t really understand it at all, but she looked so happy that I still remember her smile.
To put it simply, it might be good to give your message some kind of story that’s uniquely yours. Explain what kind of person you are, that you joined the dating club with a certain level of determination, and that while looking around, you found someone you thought seemed wonderful. Say that you’d really like to meet them, although you don’t know whether they’ll take a liking to you.
You don’t need to write an overly elaborate message. Ninety percent can be a standard template. I think the remaining ten percent is enough if you casually share a story that’s uniquely yours. Of course, compatibility and luck play a part, but it’s a matter of probability—if you keep at it, you should eventually get results.
Good luck (Fight, Nakajima♪)
Taro
① I can’t see it.
② If you use my name or mention something from my profile, it makes me feel that you want to meet. But if you haven’t added me to your favorites, I’m much less likely to click through and view your profile. Taking the initiative with men who have favorited you increases the chances several times over.
