My papa (a male supporter) wants to have sex while still wearing his clothes.
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He showers first, then puts his underwear and clothes back on.
I really hate it.
I suppose I could bring a change of underwear myself, if I’m being extremely generous, but he makes me smell his sweat-soaked underwear and clothes directly.
It’s unbearable in this weather.
He even hugs me before showering, and when I gently say, “You haven’t showered yet…” he still hugs me.
Then, after showering, we both put on clothes soaked with sweat, and it’s just awful. What was the point of showering?
Apparently, getting clothes and underwear taken off excites him.
He’s welcome to take off my clothes and underwear, but I have no interest in taking an older man’s clothes off.
How can I get him to come to bed in a clean state?
How can I gently tell him, “You’re so sweaty, so please come completely naked”?
People who want to do it while still dressed—I assumed they’d be the type to skip the shower altogether, but the fact that they actually shower first feels oddly surreal, haha.
I’d never encountered anyone like that before, so I asked a friend who’s a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) veteran. She said, “Why not deliberately tear your clothes and get angry?”
Apparently, you could fray the seams beforehand, then, right when your papa (a male supporter) starts undressing you, let them rip dramatically… By crying and getting upset about how much you loved the outfit, you can make it clear that you don’t want to do it while dressed—and, if you’re lucky, you might even get him to buy you new clothes.
Personally, I thought the simplest solution would be to undress each other before the shower, then have him put on a robe afterward.
You don’t like unhygienic people, right?
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I feel like it’s difficult to change someone’s sexual preferences, so if it doesn’t work out, I think it would be better to end things.
With that in mind, being indirect may be difficult, so I think it’s okay to tell him directly. Something like:
“I’m not into your habit of making me undress, so I can’t fully enjoy being intimate. After showering, could we continue without getting dressed?”
Since this is outside his preferences, he may decide to look for another woman. Even so, I think it would be hard to continue while forcing yourself to put up with things you dislike. If he won’t change, I think it would be better to break up.
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I’ve been through that before too, but I don’t have anyone like that in my life now.
If you really don’t feel comfortable, I think it’s perfectly okay to politely decline. Mental exhaustion is harder to notice than physical fatigue, and it tends to linger longer. ( . .)"
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On Yoru no P’s blog, there was a picture of an erect penis, and it made my own P look like a “nighttime P.”
That would be absolute torture… No way… I would never go within five meters of a woman without showering first. Never.
I’m the same way about checking my breath. Brushing alone isn’t enough—I won’t go near a woman without flossing, using an interdental brush, and rinsing with mouthwash.
That’s because I know all too well that bad smells are way more off-putting than someone’s looks.
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The fact that he smells sweaty shows he’s inconsiderate and has no desire to please you, so there’s nothing left to do but end things.
It was already decided from the very first day.
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I don’t think there’s any way to change someone’s preferences without causing friction.
No matter how subtly you try to steer them, it’ll only be a temporary fix, and they’ll still feel frustrated that they aren’t being allowed to do what they want.
I think it really comes down to whether you click.
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