When a B-type woman quickly messages me upfront saying how much allowance she'd be happy with for dinner, I lose interest a little.

I think it’s something like this: The questioner normally believes that they’re important and that they’re the one who gets to make the decisions. So when the other person speaks up, they think: “How dare you disagree with me?” “I’m the one paying, you know.” They want to meet a more submissive woman (though isn’t that basically a slave?), so when they realize this woman isn’t like that, they lose interest.

There are probably many different types, but since I’ve been asked to put men’s inner thoughts into words, I’ll give it my best shot. A: “Shouldn’t it start with wanting to meet the person? I was prepared to give her plenty if we clicked, but what’s this? We’ve barely had any conversation, and she’s already talking about money. Oh, I see. So it’s all about the money after all. Got it.” (Turned off.) B: “Sure, I understand that a dating club is based on an allowance arrangement, so I agree that discussing the terms is essential. But this kind of thing is hard to bring up. I tried hinting at it a little when we met the other day, but you seemed uncomfortable, so I decided not to discuss it then and thought we could talk about it on LINE. But are you really going to suddenly send me something like this? What is this, some kind of template message? When people say they’ll discuss things and decide together, doesn’t that mean gradually having deeper conversations while gauging the other person’s reactions? I guess you’re not the kind of woman who can do that. What a disappointment.” (Turned off.) C: “Of course I know it’s an allowance-based relationship. That goes without saying. But the whole point of a dating club is enjoying a kind of make-believe romance on top of that, right? If you bring up the allowance naturally, while we’re enjoying the romantic fantasy and the mood is right, I’ll pay as much as necessary. That’s what makes it fun. But if you show up with a price tag stuck to your forehead and say, ‘Hello,’ it ruins everything. This is exactly what people mean by being tactless. I thought you might be promising and got my hopes up, but you really don’t get it at all. What a disappointment.” (Turned off.) D: “I thought she was a lovely, refined, demure woman, but what is this? Her personality is completely different over LINE. What are these messages, as if she can see right through everything? She’s way too efficient—it’s creepy! And scary! She must be some experienced floozy who’s been throwing her weight around on dating apps! This is bad, really bad. If I get involved with someone like this, I’ll be stripped of everything I own. Instant block, obviously. Scary, scary.” (Turned off.) E: “Besides, with a B-type woman, it’s adult relationship on the second date, right? What’s this ‘allowance for dinner’? Shouldn’t you be negotiating the allowance for an adult relationship? You’re negotiating the amount I’m willing to pay for putting up with your inability to commit. How stupid can you be? Actually, this is clearly a case of misrepresenting your type. Fine, I’ll report you to the club—and give you the lowest possible rating, one star, too, lol. I’ve cast my brave vote for the sake of respectable dating clubs. I did a good deed today♪” I have my own criticisms, and there are things I’d like to say too, but I tried to come up with a wide range of possible male inner monologues as a kind of creative exercise. Questioner, I’d appreciate it if you could tell us which one is closest to your own situation, then ask again here what you should do as your next step. Taro

I usually mention the amount in my second LINE message or my second sentence, so there’s barely any time for them to ask. Maybe what puts you off is meeting a lot of men and seeming too accustomed to it. If you approach someone with a specs score of around 90, you can have an amazing time exclusively with a woman who has huge breasts.

Since joining a dating club, I always state the amount upfront myself, so I haven’t had that experience there. However, early on in my papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), when I had just started using an app, I didn’t mention the allowance at first. The first meeting went really well, and after we made plans to meet again over LINE, he suddenly brought up the allowance amount. I remember feeling just as turned off. Or rather, I came back to reality. I found myself thinking, “You could’ve told me while we were together,” and, “I was planning to give you a reasonable amount that day.” It made me realize that this was the kind of relationship where he’d casually bring up money over LINE. Looking back, though, maybe it was more like what Paper Airplane was saying. In any case, it was simply a difference in values, so ultimately, I think ending things was the right decision.

I think it depends on the circumstances in which you received that LINE message. If it came right after an offer for a letter date was accepted, I’d get the impression that she sees it as highly transactional, so I can understand why you’d lose interest. Even though you know money is part of the arrangement, perhaps it still feels lonely to realize that she never took the time to see you for who you are or appreciate your personality. It can leave you thinking, “So as long as she gets paid, anyone will do?” If this was after a regular offer date, on the second date or later, then I feel you may also bear a little responsibility for not clarifying things beforehand. She may not really have wanted to bring it up either, but perhaps she gathered the courage to tell you because she felt it needed to be made clear. If you like this woman, why not warm those cooled feelings back up and keep them on hold for now? Apologize for putting her in the position of having to say it, and ask her why she brought it up.

> If she asks how much allowance you’d be happy to give for dinner, you should reflect on the fact that you haven’t conveyed any sense of security or trust. She probably didn’t want to ask either—you made her feel she had no choice but to bring it up. Before feeling turned off, take a moment to reflect on your own behavior. Just like no woman would want to receive a LINE from a man saying he wants sex, maybe you should consider your own responsibility for making her ask that question… There are certain things you shouldn’t make a woman say, do, or feel anxious about. > “It makes me lose interest a little.” She had already lost interest first. You were already close to losing her goodwill. Even if it’s a letter-dating arrangement, you should be able to convey a sense of security and trust within the first few exchanges. If she’s genuinely interested, she wouldn’t ask something like that.