> What do you think it means that he gave the inn attendant more money than he gives me?
I think you should stop looking at it that way.
It seems to me that he simply gave the attendant more because he wanted special treatment. Maybe it was a tip to thank her for accommodating some special request.
In the first place, there’s no point competing with an inn attendant. If you can’t accept it, you can simply end the relationship.
> That’s something women give, not men.
I looked it up, but I couldn’t find anything saying that women are the ones who give it.
Maybe it was the wife who handed it over on behalf of an inconsiderate husband, but I can’t say for sure. It’s also possible I just couldn’t find the information in my search.
P.S. So the man gives the money to the woman, and the woman pays the inn attendant. I understand now.
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Man: “Miss, she’s a little loud when she moans, but please use this to keep everyone quiet. Thank you very much.”
There’s no way 1,000 yen would keep everyone quiet.
And besides… didn’t he pay for the room so he could slip out quickly when it was time to leave?
It was a stay-over date at a traditional inn, right? The allowance was around ¥150,000, wasn’t it?
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That’s something the woman should give, not the man.
The man pays for the room, and the woman gives the tip as a gesture of appreciation. Around 5,000 yen is fine.
Don’t embarrass the man.
P.S.
> I searched for it, but I couldn’t find anything saying that the woman should give it.
If a man hands money directly to the female attendant, it wouldn’t be strange for the woman accompanying him to feel even the slightest bit jealous of her. Later, she might say, “You’re not actually interested in that attendant, are you?” That’s just how women are.
So a smart woman gives the tip first—even 1,000 or 2,000 yen is enough—before the man can. If it were me, I’d take 5,000 yen from my wallet and say to the woman I was with, “Give this to the attendant as a tip.”
It’s less about etiquette and more about wisdom—or aesthetics.
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The only explanation I can think of is that Nakai-san is the person he really wants, and he took the questioner along as a way of showing off, hoping Nakai-san would hear them making those sounds and get jealous.
I don’t really know since I don’t go to ryokans, but is there even a tipping culture in Japan? I feel like I’d refuse it even if someone offered, so the whole thing is pretty mysterious.
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