Looking at the ranks of the likes from men, I think I’m probably Gold.
I still haven’t received any offers...
In the wake of my divorce, I do have some desire to earn money, but more than anything, I registered because I wanted to talk with men who have a wealth of experience in all kinds of things.
I feel that I haven’t received any offers because I’m not attractive enough...
And then, at this late hour, I happened to find a marriage registration form between my ex-husband and another woman.
Even though we’re divorced, we were still living together until recently, so there are still many of his belongings here.
I have no lingering feelings for him or anything, but I’m confused and can’t sleep.
I’m starting to become bitter, thinking that I’m the only one who hasn’t been chosen by anyone and is all alone.
I’m sure people will think I should be working on myself instead of writing this, but I had nowhere else to let these feelings out, so I ended up posting here. I’m sorry.
I’m lonely.
I’m terribly sorry for posting a question that doesn’t follow the rules.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
That’s so sad!! Waaahhh!
Cry your heart out and scream your lungs out at karaoke! (´；ω；｀)
Then go have yakiniku, and run all the way home. Take a salt bath, scrub away all the bad energy, and use your frustration and sadness as motivation to become someone loved by lots of people.
Oh, and don’t forget to take care of your self-esteem, too…
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It’s a mystery why your ex-husband’s belongings are still there. Pack them up and send them off, or throw them away.
Then clean, do the laundry, and rearrange the room.
What you call loneliness, you can also call freedom. Accept your situation as it is and enjoy it. For example, to someone who wants a divorce but can’t get one, you’re the envy of the world.
Go outside and look at the wildflowers blooming by the roadside. They don’t worry or struggle, do they? That’s why they’re beautiful.
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I’ve never been through a divorce myself, so I’m not sure I can fully understand how you feel, but I’ll offer my thoughts.
Even if you have no lingering feelings, after being married to someone for a certain length of time, it’s unavoidable that another person—your ex-husband—becomes deeply embedded in your mind and body. So it’s only natural that you feel unsettled. As Joe would put it, you’re still attached to your ex-husband. This can happen even without lingering romantic feelings, and that’s what makes it so complicated.
It may take a little time, but you should break free from that attachment. The reason you haven’t received any offers is because you’re still attached to your ex-husband.
There are probably many ways to let go. Start by affirming yourself. How about changing your hairstyle and going out? It may sound cliché, but it really does work. You could slightly change your hair color or even try wearing a wig.
And once you’ve changed your hairstyle, be sure to visit Mikari Shrine in Arashiyama, Kyoto. This isn’t just about praying for divine help. It’s a way of reporting that you’ve changed your hairstyle and declaring your resolve to have the shrine watch over your life from here on—in other words, saying, “Just watch me.”
Even if you live far away, don’t say, “Kyoto is too far.”
I hope you meet someone wonderful.
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If you keep everything to yourself because you feel you can’t talk to anyone, your thoughts just go around in circles and you end up feeling even worse about yourself. So if talking about it here helps you feel a little better, I think that’s perfectly okay.
I also get really down sometimes, but I try to stay as positive as I can. Rather than thinking, “No one will ever choose me,” try telling yourself, “If that’s the kind of person he is, then I don’t want him either!”—and just let him do whatever he wants. I’m talking about your ex-husband, of course. I don’t know what happened, but you must have shared some good times too, so don’t forget to be grateful for those.
As for offers, I’m not one of the popular female members either, so I do think it may be because I’m not appealing enough… But why not try everything you can? Women can send messages to people who have added them to their favorites with comments like, “You seem lovely,” right?! You should give it a shot, even if you don’t expect much. If it doesn’t work out anyway, you’ll probably find it easier to let go knowing you tried than to regret never trying.
Sorry if you’ve already done that.
I hope you meet someone wonderful!
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You want to feel needed by someone, right?
I understand how discouraging it can feel to keep your head down.
But that would be a waste.
Take action.
If you’re too particular about the salary or how the job sounds, finding work can be difficult. But if you don’t need to start working immediately, there’s still time.
Get out there and learn… Try accomplishing something—anything—and it may broaden your perspective.
If you have nothing to offer—no qualifications, no experience—and your demands come first,
then simply wanting to depend on men or meet rich men and be spoiled will inevitably give younger women the advantage.
Look ahead, put a smile on your face, and keep going.
There’s still plenty of time. Your journey is only beginning.
Akari
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If a man adds you to his favorites, I think it’s a good idea to send him a message right away, along with something like, “You seem wonderful.”
There’s also a section where you can write your own comment, so you might want to try adding something there.
That said, writing something like:
“I’d like to talk with all kinds of people.”
might have the opposite effect. It may be better to write just a little that makes men want to invite you to meet.
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Let it all out, and as MakeOtoko says, you should get your body moving.
Negative energy can be pretty troublesome, but you have to do something about it yourself to some extent—otherwise, even the good things that might come your way won’t.
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If you haven’t received any offers for two months, it may be a sign that getting offers going forward will be difficult.
By the way, whether you’re married or already divorced probably affects the offers you receive, too.
I think there are quite a few men who are hesitant to make offers to married women.
After all, they don’t want to get dragged into any complications.
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Try using a marriage-hunting app.
You’ve had zero offers in two months… That’s a little tough.
Have you filled out your profile properly? Try using Tinder once—you can view women’s profiles during the initial setup, so take a look for reference. What kinds of things do they write? If you were in the asker’s position, what kind of profile would make you want to meet someone? If you find a great profile, just take a screenshot and use it as a model.
On Universe, men don’t send likes; they add women to their favorites.
You’re divorced—aren’t you working? I told my ex to wait until I had a job and somewhere to live, because you can’t support yourself otherwise.
If you haven’t started working in your 30s, it’ll be harder to pass job interviews in your 40s. Find a job soon.
As for the marriage registration… I thought you couldn’t get married again until at least six months after a divorce. Are you still living together even after the divorce?
The reason you feel like you won’t be able to sleep after finding the marriage registration form isn’t really about your emotions—it’s because you feel like you lost.
Forget that. Get a job. Prove yourself through your work.
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Let’s Lift and Run
Right now (just before 5 a.m.), I’m working out at an empty 24-hour fitness gym. Why?
The answer is simple: I want to be attractive.
I’ve been lifting weights and running for over 20 years, and the cumulative benefits are incredible. I can move my hips far better than most guys my age, and above all, I’ve been able to maintain a youthful appearance.
It’s important to let your feelings out, so please vent as much as you need.
But unless you take action, your future won’t change. I’ve also been through hell after being cheated on by a woman I truly loved more than anything—but even then, I kept working out.
Mild depression can improve dramatically with exercise. There’s plenty of evidence to support that.
It’s okay to dwell on things, and you can do it as much as you need. But move your body, too. At times like these, other people’s words won’t get through to you at all. Nothing will improve.
If you’re not into weight training, running is fine. Walking alone has very limited benefits, so if you’re going to walk, do it at a pace that gets you breathing hard.
There’s no way to rewrite the past.
Work out for the sake of your future self. Go running.
Keep it up for five or ten years, and even when you’re in your forties or fifties, you can maintain the appearance of someone in their early thirties—and become incredibly popular.
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Thank you for such a candid question.
I don’t think your class ranking has much to do with it. From the club’s perspective, it’s simply a matter of putting you in a higher class with a higher referral fee if they think you’ll receive a lot of offers, thereby increasing their revenue. And in reality, that doesn’t always work out—there are plenty of misses too—so you don’t need to worry about it.
If you’re not getting any offers, I do think it may mean you’re not showing enough appeal. But what good does it do to become depressed and pile on other reasons to feel bad about yourself? I think the important thing is to regain your confidence and bring back the attractive side of yourself. Convincing yourself over and over that you’re no good is absolutely the wrong thing to do.
In your 30s, you still have plenty of time, and I believe you can change completely. As you get older, it becomes less about looks alone and more of an all-out competition that includes your personality and life experience. With more variables in play, it becomes easier to make use of your strengths. That’s the kind of game this is. Experience, wisdom, and knowing how to handle situations all have value. It would be a waste to misunderstand things, wear yourself down, and give up.
Don’t let this get you down—keep going!
Taro l
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