I’m considering an abortion, and if possible, I’d like him to cover the cost. Would that be difficult to ask?
I’m planning to tell him the next time we meet, but we always used condoms, and I thought we were both being careful, so I’m worried he might not believe me.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m Teramoto from Universe Club Customer Success 1, and I’d like to respond as well.
If he was the kind of man who was considerate toward you, I’m sure he’ll listen carefully. I think you should talk to him openly and honestly.
That said, especially since you were aware of this yourself, if you were intimate while consistently using protection, suddenly telling him you’re pregnant could potentially lead to trouble, with him responding, “Wait—am I really responsible for this? We used protection, didn’t we?”
So if there’s even a possibility that someone other than this man could be the father, I believe you should be honest about that as well when you talk to him.
I’m sure this is incredibly difficult, but I hope you’re able to work through everything one step at a time.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
It’s probably the woman’s biggest fear—how the other person will react.
Just to confirm: you’ve been examined by an OB-GYN and diagnosed as pregnant, rather than relying only on an over-the-counter test, correct?
Some hospitals can even tell you roughly when implantation occurred, such as “around the latter half of [a certain month].” So I think it would be best to bring a medical certificate that includes the doctor’s opinion and discuss the matter with him.
Also, is this the only man you’ve been seeing? His thoughts may depend on the individual.
Whatever kind of relationship you had, there is now a life growing inside you, so please make sure to have a serious discussion.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’ve had a pregnancy occur even though I was wearing a condom and thought we’d successfully prevented it. I remember thinking, “Wait, how did she get pregnant?” But she did give birth, and the child is healthy and doing well.
With that woman, regardless of which pregnancy it was, she had always gotten pregnant remarkably quickly—even from occasional encounters—so I never suspected anything. It made me wonder whether those common theories might actually be true. We really must have been incredibly compatible. She was one of the two women I’ve had the best sexual chemistry with in my life, and it made me think, “Do sperm really swim that far?”
On the other hand, I also had a wife who never got pregnant despite having unprotected sex and ejaculating inside her every time. We weren’t particularly interested in sexual compatibility; it was more about sharing love. I found myself wondering, “Could that be the reason?” and thinking more and more that the theory might actually be true.
That woman who got pregnant so quickly was also a different wife, and I think I only put the condom on toward the end.
If the man in your situation put on a condom before penetration and never had a single accident, could you believe the pregnancy?
If this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), that would seem extremely difficult. Honestly, it would probably be difficult even if it weren’t papa-katsu.
Ultimately, it depends on the relationship between the two of you. The key is whether you can trust each other. If you’ve built a relationship in which the man can believe what the woman says, he shouldn’t have any reason to hesitate.
The moment both parties are told about the pregnancy, their expressions at that instant can determine the future of their relationship.
If you already share a deep bond, whatever way you bring it up, warm words will come in response. Do you have a relationship in which you can trust the man you’re seeing? Regardless of papa-katsu, take a moment to think about that again.
Also, in any kind of relationship, it’s fine to tell him about the “pregnancy,” but when it comes to the word “abortion,” choose the timing carefully and don’t rush the conversation.
Depending on the papa, some men may be happy about the possibility of a child and may even want you to give birth. I think it’s best to take his feelings into account and move forward carefully.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
This has nothing to do with clubs, but it reminded me of something from years ago. A girl I was casually intimate with once told me she had gotten pregnant by me, despite us using a condom.
She really did seem to be pregnant, but I just couldn’t believe I was the cause. So I paid ¥50,000—about a quarter of the costs—and ended the relationship.
My reasoning was that both parties were equally responsible, and since using a condom doesn’t guarantee complete safety, I would cover half of my share of that responsibility.
Even if someone told me the same thing today, I don’t think I’d handle it any differently.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I looked it up, and apparently the failure rate for condoms as contraception is 3–14%.
If she got pregnant, I think I’d tell her that if she wanted to have the baby, she should go ahead. I have more than enough money to cover the child support.
If she wanted an abortion, I’d pay the costs. I know pregnancy can happen even when using a condom, so I’d be accepting that risk.
Even if the baby were actually another papa’s, there’d be no way to prove it, so I’d pay if she asked me to cover the expenses.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
It would be fine if your partner says, “I understand. Don’t worry,” but otherwise things could get complicated. Also, since you both agreed to use contraception, even if they agree to pay, it would probably only be half the cost of an abortion. Depending on how you make the demand, asking for more could potentially expose you to legal action.
In any case, don’t casually say, “I’ll tell them next time we meet.” It’s important to inform them immediately. You should also obtain an official medical certificate from a doctor.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If you had sex with a condom, I can only think of a few possibilities:
- It slipped off (you’d notice at the time)
- It tore (you’d notice that too)
- The condom had a pinhole defect (this seems harder to detect, and I’ve never experienced it, but perhaps you might notice leakage if you looked closely)
I don’t know how the other person will react, but some bad men apparently remove the condom during sex from behind, so it’s hard to say.
However, if you’re this certain, and you haven’t been with anyone else, then it seems 100% certain that this man is the father.
Before telling him about the pregnancy, I think you should first find out his address, real name, company name, and so on, perhaps by giving him some plausible reason for asking. (He might run away.)
Then tell him what happened and ask whether he’s willing to cover the expenses.
If he truly cares about you, I think he’ll at least pay the costs.
Once you’re past seven weeks of pregnancy, it seems you can also use a next-generation DNA test that determines paternity from the pregnant mother’s blood. You might want to wait until then and have the test done. The cost appears to be around ¥110,000.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You must be feeling shocked and anxious. It’s understandable to feel that way…
Why not start by telling your papa (a male supporter) only the facts? After that, I think it would be better to talk about your feelings and what you’d like to do going forward.
Your papa will probably be very shaken too, and he may need some time to process everything. You may not have much time, but I hope you can both take each other’s feelings into consideration and have a constructive conversation. Above all, please take good care of yourself.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Even if you do it soon, it can still put a lot of strain on your body, so please don’t push yourself.
Bringing up the costs out of the blue might prompt a harsh reaction in the heat of the moment, so it would be better to discuss it calmly.
I hope your papa (male supporter) handles things properly.
Akari
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
That sounds really difficult.
It depends on the trust you’ve built up, but if she told me she was going to have an abortion, I’d probably offer to cover the cost.
Rather than directly asking him to pay for it, I think it might be better to first tell him that you’re pregnant and considering an abortion, then see how he responds.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You must be feeling really anxious right now.
Whether you decide to go through with it or not, please take care of yourself.
I thought about what I would do in that situation… It would depend on my relationship with that papa, but I think I’d ask him to cover half the cost.
Even though we were being careful, it was still the result of something we both consented to, so I couldn’t possibly ask him to cover the entire amount.
I hope things don’t turn into an argument.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
