I love my boyfriend so much that I don’t feel like doing papa-katsu anymore. I’ve been doing papa-katsu for two years, and many of my relationships with my papas have lasted for years. Until now, even when I had a boyfriend, I was never that deeply in love and had no trouble continuing papa-katsu alongside the relationship. But I truly love my current boyfriend from the bottom of my heart. I’m completely smitten, and since I’ve told him I dislike older men, I doubt he could ever imagine that I’m having sex with them.
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The reason I’m still doing papa-katsu is basically as a side job. I’m not struggling financially. My boyfriend is the biggest and best for me sexually, too. We’re both in our early twenties, so there’s no money exchanged like there is in papa-katsu, but he pays for all our dates, is kind, and I genuinely have no complaints.
I feel like I mostly just talk to my papas about how happy I am with my boyfriend. I see my papas almost like father figures rather than as men, so I end up talking about him without thinking.
I really have no motivation to do papa-katsu anymore. This month, I’ve only done it twice, including dinner-only (no intimacy) meetings. It looks like this may be the first month I earn less than 200,000 yen. Before I met my boyfriend, I used to panic if I didn’t make at least 500,000 yen a month, but I don’t feel that pressure anymore. Maybe my personal life is fulfilling enough now that I no longer need to use money to fill that gap.
I’ve even started wondering if now is the time to quit papa-katsu. I’ve had extensive cosmetic surgery and am reasonably attractive now, and I’ve managed to save several million yen.
I’m thinking about just living a normal life, but I’m still a university student, so I’m torn: shouldn’t I be turning my youth into money while I can? Even if I graduate and get a full-time job, how many years would it take to reach what I’m earning through papa-katsu now?
I don’t see my papas as men, but I respect them as people. Talking with them is fun, but adult relationships (intimate) are difficult for me. Should I force myself to do papa-katsu just once to three times a month for a few hours?
But every time I have an adult relationship (intimate) with a papa, I close my eyes and think, “This is for [boyfriend’s name]… [boyfriend’s name]…”
My papas probably think I’m a sexually uninhibited, erotic girl who sees my papa and my boyfriend as completely separate. I do act bright and positive around them. But the truth is, I don’t want to have adult relationships (intimate) with my papas, and I don’t enjoy it. Still, when I think about how easily I can make a large amount of money, I don’t have the courage to simply give up a route that has allowed me to earn so much.
Should I put up with it and keep saving money for now? (With the investment I’m currently making through NISA, my stock options are limited, and I can’t get the kind of high returns in such a short period that papa-katsu provides.)
Also, do women who are deeply in love with their boyfriends usually quit papa-katsu?
What would you do if you were me?
I can’t say whether the girls I’ve dated were truly in love with their boyfriends, but “I got a boyfriend” and “I’m getting married” have both been genuine reasons for ending things.
If she’s seriously considering marrying her boyfriend, it might be a good idea to leave papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) now, before her sense of money gets warped.
Generally speaking, if he’s in his twenties, it’s unlikely that he’ll be able to give her an amount comparable to what she receives through papa-katsu—or that she’ll be able to earn that much herself.
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Whether she has a serious boyfriend, a guy on the side, or a friend with benefits—it doesn’t matter!
As long as she can turn it into money, she’ll turn it into money. Personally, I kind of like girls with that mindset.
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It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing—the important thing is what you want to do.
If adult relationships are painful for you, I think you shouldn’t force yourself. This isn’t something you should continue if it’s making you suffer, unless you’re struggling financially and have no other options.
With that in mind, I think you should probably quit for now.
Your feelings may change over time, so you can always start again if you find yourself wanting to try it again.
papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t only about being young. You may still be able to do it later.
That said, there’s no guarantee you’ll meet a papa (a male supporter) as good as your current one. You might want to tell your current papa how you feel and say something like, “I’m going to quit papa-katsu, but would it be okay if I contacted you if I ever wanted to start again?” That might be a good way to handle it.
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If I truly loved someone, I would put them first and never do anything that might hurt them. I wouldn’t think about my own convenience or expect anything in return. I’d simply do whatever I could to help him live his best life.
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I read everything too.
Do what feels right… But if you want things to work out with your boyfriend, it’s probably best to quit.
To begin with, if you can live a normal life out in the open, you won’t need papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so try to get used to that as soon as possible.
Money matters, of course, but ask yourself whether you really need papa-katsu. You’re no longer thriving because of it.
You should also have the ordinary perspective that “No amount of money could ever make me do papa-katsu…”
Otherwise, you may end up unable to become independent or live your own life.
Papa-katsu is only for people who truly come alive through it, like a fish returned to water. I don’t think it’s something everyone should do.
Were you lucky to discover papa-katsu while you were young and able to do it?
Would you be happier if you lived your own life without papa-katsu first, and only then tried it?
Or would you be happier living a life without papa-katsu altogether?
Please don’t let papa-katsu control your life.
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I read everything.
I think you should save as much as you reasonably can until you get married. And no matter how close you are with your husband, keep those savings secret—put them aside as a nest egg. There’s no such thing as eternal love.
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I didn’t read the whole thing, but if you don’t feel like doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and you’re not struggling financially, you can simply quit.
But if you’re blinded by the prospect of making a lot of money, you’ll probably start again even after quitting.
Marika
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I think you should stop.
As for your boyfriend, it’s not about the money—if an adult relationship is painful for you, you should end it.
You shouldn’t stay in a relationship that isn’t enjoyable or offers you any benefits (other than money).
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It honestly just sounds like you’re going on and on about how smitten you are…
To begin with, if you don’t like older men, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) probably isn’t for you. You should quit—for the sake of the older men who are being misled, too.
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“Stop it! Stop!”
I said it in the style of the classic “Yakushoku” routine from Dacho Club.
So, which one is it?
That last part was in the style of Kinnikun, lol.
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I was so overwhelmed by the lovey-dovey talk that I could only read the beginning. Sorry…
If you keep doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), sooner or later you’ll probably catch an STI, pass it on to your boyfriend, get him furious, and end up breaking up.
If you’re okay with breaking up with your boyfriend, then keep doing papa-katsu. If not, send Universe Club a resignation notice via LINE today.
When you find a good person, that’s the time to quit.
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I recommend quitting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). If you miss this opportunity, you may find yourself unable to quit, and eventually, even as demand for you as a PJ declines with age, you could end up having to accept an adult relationship (intimate) for an allowance of 30,000 yen or less per meeting.
There have been several times when a woman I was seeing through papa-katsu got a boyfriend. When she starts dating someone she genuinely loves, I’m the one who firmly ends things with her.
On the other hand, if she gets a boyfriend she likes but doesn’t love to the point that “she can’t see anyone else,” I leave it up to my monthly-arrangement partner to decide whether she wants to continue papa-katsu. So far, 100% of them have chosen to continue.
In your case, it’s clearly the former—a truly serious boyfriend. If I were your papa, I’d say, “Let’s end things. If you ever break up with him, come back to me♪” and part ways cleanly.
I’m sorry to put it this way from the papa’s perspective, but sooner or later, the time comes when you have to say goodbye. I want us to part in a way that hurts as little as possible for both of us.
“Getting a boyfriend”
is one of the best possible times for both sides to end things. It minimizes the heartbreak on our end, so it’s honestly a big help. Saying goodbye is always painful.
So, if you’re going to quit papa-katsu, the time is now. If you miss this chance, you may end up quitting at a time that’s far from ideal for you, and it could turn into a bitter memory.
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It was pretty long, so I’ll answer based only on the first line and the ending.
If you don’t feel like doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I think you should just stop.
Some women see their boyfriend and their papa (a male supporter) as two completely separate things, but everyone thinks differently. If you don’t see it that way, then I think you should quit.
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