After making an offer and meeting once or a few times, what usually makes you decide there won’t be a next time?
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- Her appearance isn’t your type
- Sexual compatibility
- Her personality
I’m sure there are many other reasons, but I wanted to ask to hear men’s honest opinions.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Sexual compatibility is the most important thing to me.
So no matter how attractive she is, if we’re not compatible in bed, I’ll say goodbye.
After that, rather than her personality, I pay attention to the way she thinks.
If I get the feeling during our conversation that she’s just not for me, things won’t continue—even if we’re compatible in bed.
Still, it’s just the nature of being a man that you end up being intimate with someone like that at least once anyway, lol.
Good luck with your papa-katsu too.
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Since offers are based on photos, appearance should be a non-issue—especially with Universe.
Maybe it’s because:
- Conversation is boring
- Sex is boring
As someone mentioned in another question, being around someone who constantly bad-mouths others, complains, or thinks negatively isn’t enjoyable either.
Marika
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“Because they’re not as good as my monthly arrangements,” I suppose.
I already have well over ten monthly arrangements, so I can’t add any more. But I still want to make offers, so I do.
The thing is, if I’m going to turn a newcomer into a monthly arrangement, I have to push out one of my existing partners.
Sometimes even a partner I’m not especially fond of survives simply because her allowance is low. And if things have become stale with a favorite monthly partner, a newcomer may even end up replacing her.
That said, my monthly arrangements are all top-tier, so they’re tough competition. Newcomers rarely beat them, and there really aren’t that many newcomers I’d want to meet a second time.
It sounds harsh, but isn’t this probably the reality for a papa (a male supporter) who dates multiple women?
In a recent case, a new A-type girl even replaced a veteran monthly partner who had an adult relationship (intimate) with me.
So it’s not necessarily that there’s one specific “cause”—luck plays a part too. If several monthly partners have recently dropped out, it’s much easier to continue seeing a newcomer.
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The most important thing at first is whether she’s genuinely interested in me. You can only know that by meeting, but if I don’t see any sign of interest from the start, I won’t ask her out.
I also prefer to avoid people who seem like semi-pros, so once I figure that out, I just fade out lol.
Sex is something to think about later, but if we like each other, things naturally deepen as we spend more time together. So whether we’re compatible in that area has never been the deciding factor for me.
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Women who aren’t interesting to talk to don’t last.
If I have to lead the conversation the whole time and she doesn’t make any effort to keep it going herself, or if she never jokes around, I find her boring.
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With dating clubs, you can check someone’s appearance beforehand through photos and videos taken by the club, so I’ve never turned someone down based on her looks.
(With apps, I’ve been impressed by how advanced the editing technology is, but there have been plenty of women I rejected based on their appearance.)
In my case, I make my judgment at the first meeting and decide whether to see her again. Everyone I’ve met a second time, I’ve continued to see several more times afterward.
Also, I don’t really know much about sexual compatibility, so it isn’t a high priority when I’m making my initial judgment. After meeting many times and becoming closer, I feel like our compatibility naturally improves.
Sorry for the long preface, but as for what I base my decision on, I consider everything together: her personality—whether she’s cheerful—how well the conversation flows and how she responds, whether her smile is cute, and whether the tone of her voice feels pleasant. Then I judge based on whether the two hours flew by and whether I’d want to meet her again, even if it were just for dinner.
I suppose that’s what people generally call chemistry.
Regardless of whether it’s genuine or not, I also pay attention to whether she seems to be genuinely enjoying herself. But I think that’s really just the other side of whether the time flew by.
I’ve never had an adult relationship (intimate) with someone when we didn’t click, just for the sake of it.
And I’ve never been turned down for an adult relationship (intimate) when we did click. I think the fact that I’m relatively young and offer a fairly generous (well-paying) allowance probably has a lot to do with that.
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If someone’s appearance is so far from my type that I know there won’t be a next time, I usually realize it the moment we meet or during the meal—so that’s happened quite a few times.
I really can’t stand gummy smiles, so when I met two women who had them, I knew I didn’t want to pursue things further.
I’ve never met a woman whose personality was so bad that I knew there couldn’t be a next time.
There have been a few times when I offered to meet someone despite finding her values—or rather, her way of thinking—unacceptable. In those cases, I decided there wouldn’t be a next time, so we parted without even exchanging contact information.
If we can have a really enjoyable meal and conversation, I’ll invite her to have sex.
Recently, though, I’ve ended things without making that invitation about half the time. In the past, I would go ahead with it just in case the sex turned out to be amazing. But these days, I already have several partners I enjoy talking to and having sex with, so I’ve stopped inviting women out in order to avoid increasing my risk of STIs.
Even if I don’t think the sex is particularly good after meeting someone once to three times, I’ll continue seeing her if I enjoy spending time with her. At first, I assume we’re both still getting used to each other, so I hope things might improve with time.
That’s why women whose sex isn’t especially enjoyable often naturally drift away as they’re gradually replaced by others with whom I enjoy both the conversation and the sex.
I’m not sure whether this counts as appearance, but if I notice after getting into bed that I don’t like the smell of her genitals, I think, “There won’t be a next time.” I think there have been about three or four women like that.
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It’s the same for women.
You can’t put your true feelings into words. That’s what makes them genuine.
P.S.
Maybe it’s less about “true feelings” and more that there’s no reason behind who you like or dislike—you simply can’t put it into words.
P.S. 2
If the questioner could accurately explain in words why they broke up with someone, I think that would mean they never really liked that man in the first place.
That’s also why, when I stop seeing a woman through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—or when someone stops seeing me—I’d rather not be told the reason. I’d actually prefer something simple like, “I just don’t have feelings for you anymore.”
Because “I don’t have feelings for you anymore” also means “I used to have feelings for you.”
I like all the women I see. There’s no reason for it. I just do.
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