I received an offer through a letter date and am currently messaging with him.

If the allowance doesn’t work for you, there’s really no point in meeting to discuss it, right? You can state your allowance expectations through Letter Date, and if they won’t agree to them, I don’t think you need to meet.

You can’t communicate with this person… And on top of that, the allowance is only half of what you usually receive. Is there any point in meeting him? I think you should end the conversation on LINE as soon as it becomes clear that communication isn’t possible. If you’re worried that it might hurt your standing, just report it to the staff first.

I’ve never tried a letter date before, so I’d like to experience one at least once. Personally, I’d meet if our terms matched. But if we couldn’t agree on the allowance, then there wouldn’t be any future for us, so I wouldn’t meet. It would just be a waste of time for both of us, right?! By the way, do you tell them what you’re hoping for? If it were me, I’d first hear the man’s terms, and if I couldn’t agree to them, I’d say, “I’d like to proceed under these terms.” Then wouldn’t it be up to the man to decide whether he wanted to meet or not? Of course, it’s not just about the allowance. You might also meet and see whether you click and could envision continuing things from there. It’s complicated. That said, even if you couldn’t agree on the allowance through a letter date, if the conversation were so enjoyable that I wanted to meet them, or if I found myself eagerly waiting for their messages, I might think, “I’ll meet them once and see how it goes.”

Isn’t the part about settling for half the offer irrelevant to the person asking the question? Are you being harmed in some way? If you weren’t satisfied with the allowance, you could simply and politely decline the relationship. There’s no need to force yourself to meet him. I don’t know how much his allowance is, but he should give it to another woman who’s willing to accept it.

> Is it still worth meeting him? If you’re interested in other factors too—like being willing to date him even if the allowance is low because he’s handsome—then I think it would be fine to meet him for dinner only. But if that’s not what you’re wondering, and you mean something like: “He offered a low allowance, but could he actually be wealthy and possibly increase the allowance after the second meeting?” then I’d say there’s a 99% chance that won’t happen. So I think your feeling that there’s no point in going is probably right. > If he won’t even listen to my desired allowance, That means you told him how much you wanted, but he came back with a lower amount, right? At that point, I think it would be fine to reply with something like: “Unfortunately, it seems our terms don’t match, so I won’t be able to meet you. Thank you.” Then block him or handle it however you prefer.

I feel like it would just be a waste of time, so personally, I don’t think you need to meet him. I’ve never done a letter date through a club, but I used an app, which was kind of similar to a letter date, and I always explained my terms before meeting. Since this is an arrangement based on an allowance, I thought it was fine to lead with that, depending on how you phrased it, and I never considered it rude. But after reading Paper Airplane’s answer, I realized that some people might find it impolite. In my experience, bringing it up beforehand was generally received more positively, but I guess people can interpret things in all kinds of ways.

Not meeting is in both of our best interests. I’ve been turned down twice through letter dates. One woman left me on read, while the other clearly said: “I’m sorry, but the allowance doesn’t meet what I’m looking for.” *I had offered 13 on a pay-per-meeting basis. In my case, I actually feel better when they tell me the reason. The woman who left me on read had offered 12 per meeting. 追加 A dating club is based on arrangements that include an allowance, and my style is to be upfront about the allowance—the most important point—instead of leaving it until the very end. I understand that people are free to disagree with my style. That said, even the female respondent who absolutely hates me would probably agree that telling her the allowance upfront is the right approach. Unless she hates me so much that she has to say no, haha. And even on a regular date without a letter-date stage, I tell her the allowance within seconds of meeting. When I’m meeting a woman for an adult relationship (intimate) for the first time, I hand over the allowance before we enter the room. Of course, you’re free to share your own opinions, but to me, Paper Airplane is a “former player”—in other words, more of a commentator, like Harimoto. Let’s make an offer first. Then we can talk. If you’re saying that even a Premium Black woman will agree to 5, then please provide plenty of actual examples—not stories from the past, and not just one or two successful experiences. Fans of this Q&A box love exchanges like this, so instead of ignoring it, I decided to play along. ♡

If you don’t feel like it, I don’t think you need to meet him.

Whether it’s by email or LINE, I don’t think it’s worth spending your time or emotional energy on someone who’s already lost interest. No matter how you met, if communicating with them makes you feel excited or gives you butterflies, you’ll probably look forward to going on dates with them too. —Akari

If you’re unsure, it’s better not to meet. With a letter date, you can make a quick decision without having to do your makeup to go out or waste time meeting in person. With a letter date, you should be able to quickly settle on a mutually convenient day after just three or four exchanges over the first 10–30 minutes. If they can’t even do that, it’s reasonable to move on. > Makeotoko, Isn’t that because you brought it up first? Some people may feel that bringing up the terms before meeting is incredibly rude—that you’re not looking for a relationship at all (this isn’t a brothel), and that wanting to confirm everything in advance is completely out of the question. > Makeotoko, If you had stated that amount after meeting her, she probably would have agreed. Also, I think the term you use—“former player”—works just fine. Just as no one keeps job hunting forever, the point of making offers is to find the best possible person. Once you graduate from the offer club, you finally move on to a dating club. I think the reason Makeotoko keeps making offers is that he may cut things off with some women, and may also get cut off by others. Maybe it’s like a singing competition or some other grand-champion tournament where contestants keep winning to stay in the running. There may still be an ace out there… But if you consider someone who is actually dating you—not merely receiving an offer—to be an active player, then people who are still making offers simply haven’t found the woman they truly want yet. In that sense, it may be comparable to job hunting or a draft prospect who hasn’t joined a team yet: they still haven’t found the company or team they really want. As long as someone keeps making offers, it may mean they’re not satisfied yet or still need a backup plan. If they haven’t settled on the person they truly want, you could even say that nothing has really begun yet—they haven’t become an active player. Put another way, having plenty of arranged meetings or romantic relationships doesn’t mean you can experience married life if none of them leads to marriage. From the club’s perspective, if they hear lots of people saying, “I’m so satisfied that I no longer need to make offers. This club was great,” I’m sure the staff are secretly doing fist pumps. At the same time, when someone says “offer,” it’s nice to hear, but it also makes you wonder a little whether you’re actually being helpful enough… And I’m not criticizing Makeotoko’s style at all. In fact, there are aspects of it that I find so ideal and perfect that I’m almost envious. I commented because, from women’s complaints, I’ve also heard that letter dates are “nothing but talk about hotels and adult relationships.”

It depends on how much financial difficulty you’re in right now, but if it were me, I might just fade out… You don’t have to force yourself to meet him, but if you happen to be going out that day anyway, it might be worth meeting him. I just don’t think I’d have the energy to dress up and do my makeup solely for him.