It’s okay to think of my allowance as a reflection of my worth, right? Someone once offered me 10,000 yen—should I just die?

If it were me, I’d try to turn him down as gently as possible (＞＜) I know full well that money isn’t everything, but it still hurts, doesn’t it...? Let’s work on boosting our feminine charm together!

I don’t think your allowance reflects your worth. In this case, it’s just about the terms of the arrangement, right? lol

Even if I were offered an allowance of 10,000 yen for an adult relationship (intimate), I’d put on a sad face and say, “I thought I could have a good relationship with you, but I’m disappointed,” and then leave. Back when I was active on an app, I was asked several times to become someone’s girlfriend without receiving any allowance. I politely declined every time. I think it’s best to gently explain what you’re looking for, without being too blunt. That number is by no means a reflection of your worth, so I don’t think you need to worry about it at all. If I could offer just one piece of advice, it would be this: just because someone hurt you, don’t casually say things that will hurt someone else in the same way. That hurt will eventually come back to you. The opposite is true too—I believe that when you’ve experienced being treated with care, you’re able to treat the other person with care as well. So I really hope you find someone who will cherish you!!

Aside from men like me who are kind to themselves but harsh toward others, an allowance and attention to personal cleanliness are ways of showing kindness to a woman. They’re actions. So, a man who offers 1 is simply someone lacking in kindness—it has nothing to do with your appearance or anything else about you. Please keep living. It would be such a waste to die over a worthless man like that. ※That said, if he earns only ¥100,000 a month and offers 1, then he may well be a kind person.※ Even if he’s a charming older man who knows how to escort a woman, is good at intimacy, and acts like a gentleman, if he has money but offers a low allowance, that papa isn’t a kind person. His main interest is himself. He’s a boring old man who puts himself first and women second. And since women come second, he’s probably bad at intimacy too.

It’s something to be grateful for that there are people willing to pay just to meet you. Marika

If the questioner is satisfied with an allowance of 10,000 yen, then there’s nothing wrong with accepting it. It’s simply that you don’t want to date that man for 10,000 yen, right? This isn’t about your worth. You’re the one who decides whether or not to date him. This may sound harsh, but if something like this is enough to make you feel depressed, I don’t think you’ll be able to handle this world.

It sounds like you were approached by a man who was completely out of place. When you say “1,” do you mean dinner only? If it was dinner only, that seems pretty standard. If he offered “1” for an adult relationship (intimate), then he’s probably the one who was out of line. You were polite and well-mannered, right? Even though I’m in my late 40s, I’ve never been offered that little… In any case, if you have no idea why you were offered such a low allowance, report it to the staff.

By that logic, women like me and the women I date, who all receive a flat allowance of ¥50,000, would supposedly be worth only ¥50,000. You’re free to put yourself down, but don’t drag other people into it. That’s incredibly rude. P.S. The question that followed was hidden, so I’m copying it here. ↓ What gives this questioner the greatest pleasure is seeing the female respondents get dragged into it and start crying. The essence and intention of this question is basically, “Let’s all dance the samba and go to hell together!” And since I’m here, I’ll add something positive: the moment a man offers you ¥10,000 and you start thinking that’s your worth, you’ve already lost. A PJ with the will to succeed asks herself why the man is offering only ¥10,000. Her own value is irrelevant. The important thing is figuring out whether: ① he simply can’t afford to pay more, or ② he has the means but is choosing not to spend them. If the man has potential, a smart PJ will use even a ¥10,000 arrangement as a stepping stone to the next opportunity. If he’s simply inexperienced with this kind of activity or genuinely uncomfortable with the idea of dating for money, then he’s exactly the kind of man you can “cultivate.” Earnestly explain that you don’t just want money—you genuinely need it for tuition or some other reason. Then, in a reluctant, wistful tone (this part is important), persuade him with something like: “If we say goodbye now, I’ll feel terrible, as though I’m leaving just because the ¥10,000 allowance is too low. But I really do need the money, so I have no choice but to make the best use of my time.” Persuasion isn’t something only men do to women. Women can persuade men and cultivate them, too. Of course, if he doesn’t seem to have the ability to pay, the only option is to end things quickly. Even then, don’t part on bad terms—there’s always a chance he could succeed through investments or something else and become wealthy in the near future. I’ll say it again: the moment you’re offered a ¥10,000 allowance and start thinking that’s your worth, you’ve already lost mentally. That doesn’t mean you have no value as a person, but it does mean you lack the strength to make your way in life.

An allowance doesn’t define your worth as a woman. There’s no way something like that could determine your value.