This is Mac, one of the regular answerers. Thank you for answering my question about herbivore men earlier m(_ _)m.

As many of you have pointed out, I think the growing presence of women in the workforce is a major factor. If you can earn your own money, you can support yourself. Society today places a great deal of importance on the individual, and there’s a tendency to think, “As long as the individual is happy, that’s all that matters!” At the same time, I think ideas about family lines, blood relatives, and clans have also been fading. It may sound a bit like the inner chambers of the shogun’s palace, but when you consider how to ensure that a family line continues, marriage naturally becomes one option. That said, I also feel that more and more men are losing interest in getting married. As for sexual desire, I’m not really sure, but I doubt it has changed much. I don’t think human instincts change with the times.（笑）

Female member Potassium here. I see… it may have something to do with the number of people, or even with the baby boomer generation. (Just my impression, like the other respondent.) Based on my own experiences and friendships, here’s my personal theory. First, laws such as the Equal Employment Opportunity Law and the Basic Act for a Gender-Equal Society were introduced, and these topics began to be properly taught in compulsory education. (The kids who actually pay attention in class are learning about them.) Since then, I think the steady rise in the percentage of women attending universities and vocational schools has been a major factor. These days, there’s also more talk about women in management, and even more so if you look overseas. As women’s horizons expanded through higher education, they discovered the joy of learning and realized that they could support themselves financially. Because of that, rather than getting married with the image of relying on a man forever, perhaps more women came to realize that they could live freely, enjoyably, and in their own way—and therefore stopped feeling tied to marriage. Another major change for women in their twenties, I think, is that at both national and private universities, students who work hard and achieve excellent grades can receive tuition exemptions and even job-placement support. There’s also the university entrance qualification exam. When it comes to marriage, many women in professional-track positions—including me—seem to think, “I’ll consider it if I meet the right person, but I’ll continue working; I’m not actively looking to get married.” On the other hand, many women in general office positions want to get married and would prefer part-time work after marriage. I think the difference in salaries is probably a major factor too. This is a very personal theory and somewhat off-topic, but among women doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I feel that those who are only after money or are trying to make a living from it are often not just affected by income disparities. They may also be people who put 120% effort into something but ultimately gave up without achieving their goal. (I have friends in their early twenties whose living expenses, rent, and everything else are paid for by men around the age of a papa (a male supporter). They’re carefree girls who love designer brands and all that—but they’re cute and nice.) By contrast, women doing papa-katsu who aren’t motivated purely by money will turn down men they don’t like and seem to do papa-katsu while staying true to themselves. ※ Some people read my theory and say, “You wouldn’t understand because you’ve never experienced being poor and you’re privileged.” There’s some truth to that, but people in their twenties today grew up in a completely different era from people in the past. Conversely, in papa-katsu, men generally choose who to make offers to based on looks. So even without money, being attractive is an advantage. If coming from a wealthy environment is an advantage, then being good-looking is an advantage in exactly the same way. That’s why I think the attitude of “I’m helping girls who don’t have money” or “I’m not doing papa-katsu out of sexual desire” is simply hypocrisy. If that were really the case, then surely they would make offers to girls who aren’t considered cute, have no money, can’t afford cosmetic surgery, and are struggling to get by—and support them so they could build wonderful lives. Honestly, I like my papa, who is so straightforward about admitting his sexual desires. I respect people who can speak honestly about themselves instead of using others for their own hypocritical purposes at their age. Oops, I got off track. In short, perhaps more women have become eager to learn and pursue the things they’re passionate about. I was born in the Heisei era, so I don’t know what the Showa era was like. I’m probably going to attract a lot of haters. Knock on wood. Just my personal theory.

I think both ① and ② apply. As Kazu-san said, people probably have more choices than they did in the past. Also, the idea that there’s only one “right” way to live has faded, and people are less likely to be told they need to get married for appearances’ sake. As for women’s sex drives in the past, I can’t really say—I can only speculate. Many women may have stayed at home without knowing much about the outside world, and gone through life without ever knowing any men other than their husbands. If their husband was their first partner, they wouldn’t have had anyone else to compare him with… It made sense to me that ideas about romance, marriage, and sex have all changed significantly with the times.

Compared with the number of men from our Showa-era generation, there are only about half as many young people in their 20s today. Even outside papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), young women are absolutely flooded with invitations and lavish treatment from older men. In simple terms, I suppose there are twice as many opportunities as there used to be… If the number of older men approaching them has doubled, then the number of women in their early 20s who have received that level of benefit has doubled as well… Women who hear about this become even less interested in getting married… In the past, having four or more children was normal, and six, seven, or eight children wasn’t unusual for our parents’ generation. Compared with those days, when people had little else to do, I think both men and women are gradually losing interest in sex. At the same time, women as well as men can explore and delve deeper than ever, making it easy for them to play around with men just as much as—or even more than—men do. They may be a small percentage, but there are certainly women with male-level sex drives who are highly interested in the opposite sex. I think everything has accelerated dramatically, much like the sudden jump in pitching speeds from the days of Egawa and Komatsu.

My parents’ generation still largely lived in traditional, male-dominated Showa-era families. Watching that, I assumed that was simply how things were and started thinking about marriage myself around age 25. But with women having a wider range of career options, and seeing parents get divorced, perhaps people no longer see much value in marriage. It might be different if they saw parents who stayed close, but that seems relatively uncommon. I think that 100 years from now, there will be more contracts to have children without getting married. As Mac-san wrote, exactly. I wonder whether 21st-century SMS is helping people be more open about their sexual desires.

It’s more or less the same as points ① and ②, but I think there are also factors such as: - Women have increasingly entered the workforce and become able to earn their own income. - Women have begun to see options other than being a full-time homemaker when planning their lives. - In urban areas, being a full-time homemaker is no longer a realistic choice. In short, I think the postwar, high-growth-era model of owning a home with the wife as a full-time homemaker has completely collapsed. As for women’s sexual desire, I feel that while their inner selves haven’t changed, society has gradually become more accepting of women expressing it openly. Perhaps you could say that sexuality is no longer viewed socially as something belonging only to men. The introduction of low-dose birth-control pills also seems to have had a major impact. Once low-dose pills became commonplace, women were able to take control of contraception themselves as well, right? (Though it seems many women start taking them for irregular periods or other gynecological issues.) Men becoming less assertive and the decline in the desire to marry have occurred at the same time, but from the perspectives of income and spending, they also seem like separate issues. On the other hand, if we look at it from the perspective mentioned in Maezawa’s answer to the previous question—that men stopped making advances because women started taking the lead—then the two do seem connected. Neither the trend toward less assertive men nor the decline in the desire to marry has a single cause. So perhaps the answer is that they’re connected in some respects, while there are also reasons unrelated to each other. As an aside, come to think of it, “hastinai” has basically become an obsolete word when it comes to sexuality.

I’m the type who wants to be a homemaker. I know some people may not look favorably on that, but I grew up in a traditional, old-fashioned household where “the man works outside the home and the woman takes care of the household.” Thirty minutes before my husband gets home, I’d run his bath, turn on the air conditioning, and set the rice cooker so the rice would be freshly cooked when he arrived. That’s the kind of family I grew up in, and it’s the kind of family I want to create for myself. There should be happiness after marriage. I want to love and care for my partner, and I hope to marry someone I could see myself caring for in their old age.