I met a woman through Universe Club about a year ago, and we’ve been seeing each other regularly.
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She’ll be taking advantage of the Obon holiday to come stay at my vacation home.
Normally, I travel to where she lives for work, and we have dinner together before spending time in a hotel room.
I usually see her off by around midnight, so we’ve never spent the night together before.
Since she’ll be traveling nearly two hours by bullet train to see me, I’m planning to cover her train fare and give her an allowance, but I’m not sure how much would be appropriate.
I’m sorry to get so specific, but for example, if we’re intimate just once at night, would it be fine to give her the usual allowance?
And if it happens twice, once at night and once in the morning, should I double it?
This is my first time dealing with an overnight stay, so I’d appreciate hearing how others handle it for reference.
Also, if there’s anything else I should be mindful of during an overnight date, I’d be grateful for your advice.
Thank you in advance.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
> I’m planning to cover the bullet train fare and give her an allowance, but I’m not sure how much would be appropriate.
I think you should cover the actual bullet train fare and give her twice her usual allowance.
If she says her usual allowance is fine, you’ll probably think she’s a good girl. And if she simply says thank you and accepts the doubled amount, you’ll be glad you decided to double it.
Even love hotels charge different rates for a short stay and an overnight stay, so it’s only natural for the amount to change when she stays the night. I think the same basic principle should apply to the allowance.
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Staying overnight at a vacation home sounds wonderful.
I enjoy staying at hotels too, but at a vacation home, you get a better sense of the person’s hobbies and the things they like, which makes it more enjoyable. If we’d been seeing each other for a year and were close, I wouldn’t care whether the allowance was for one meeting or two. I’d rather enjoy the time we could spend together.
So I hope you can enjoy it too.
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At this point, it really comes down to the individual.
Personally, I don’t even think it’s necessary to insist on a Green Car seat on the bullet train.
For the record, I wouldn’t cover bullet train fare if it were only about the equivalent of two Kodama stops.
I also wouldn’t increase the allowance just because she stayed overnight.
That said, if I wanted to be intimate again in the morning, I might give her a little extra afterward.
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Talk it over with your partner.
You’ve been seeing each other for a year—are you really saying you can’t even discuss something like that?
You’re already in your forties, so instead of worrying about what other people are doing, don’t you think you should have a relationship that works for both of you?
Asking questions like that is only cute when you’re in your thirties.
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Please check the bullet train fare. If the round trip is within ¥10,000, I wouldn’t increase it.
However, since you’ll be staying overnight, I think doubling the allowance would be reasonable.
You shouldn’t think of increasing it just because you were intimate.
What are you planning to do at the vacation home? Why not go sightseeing? If there are mountains or a river nearby, you could take an early morning walk, set off fireworks at night, or enjoy a hot spring if there’s one nearby. Make it a proper date and enjoy yourselves.
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- Just a regular papa
- A papa she actually likes
- Did you invite her, or did she come on her own?
The answer depends on what kind of presence you are to her, and whether you invited her or she offered to come.
If she came to your vacation home on her own and you’re a “papa she likes” to her,
⚫ the Green Car fare + her usual adult-relationship allowance
should probably be enough.
If you invited her yourself, you should pay about 1.5 times the usual allowance.
On the other hand, if you’re just a regular papa to her and you invited her, you’re in trouble unless you give her:
⚫ the Green Car fare + the equivalent of two adult-relationship payments.
Even if she came on her own.
And don’t get intimate with her in the morning.
Spending the night in the same room as an older man you don’t even like is hell.
Try imagining spending the night with a sex-starved older woman you don’t like.
Just having her sleep beside you would be exhausting, right? If she came onto you all night, it would be only natural to want at least double the allowance.
I’ve never even stayed overnight with a girl I give ¥100,000 a month to. The only person I stay overnight with is my girlfriend. Since she’s my girlfriend, there’s no allowance, and of course we’re intimate at night and in the morning too.
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That’s a ridiculous question. All you’re thinking about is “doing it”…
What’s supposed to be fun about going to your vacation home??
Make sure the woman who traveled all that way to see you leaves thinking, “That was fun!” and “I’m so glad I came—it was amazing.” It’s not too late to start.
If all you think about is what you’re going to do together, then the only thing you’re offering her in return is an allowance…
Don’t be so dense. Get excited about creating fun memories she’ll remember and planning an enjoyable time for the two of you. After all, her coming to your vacation home is something you should be happy about…
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Just traveling far away and staying overnight should mean double, shouldn’t it?
Whether you’re intimate in the morning or not shouldn’t matter.
Marika
Ah, Makeotoko-san, you may have a point.
It does vary depending on the person.
I drive myself for an hour and a half to my favorite papa’s vacation home almost every week.
He doesn’t give me a pay-per-meeting allowance, either.
And we do it three times.
But driving is fun since the car was bought for me by my papa.
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