Is a guy who never suggests dates himself not interested?
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I’d like to see you. When are you free next week?
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Me: “How about [day]?”
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How about another day?
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Me: “I’m on summer vacation, so I’m relatively free. When would work for you?”
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Waiting for a reply
That’s the kind of exchange we’ve been having.
This isn’t papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan); it’s a romantic relationship in our private lives. We also have mutual friends, so we didn’t meet through an app or anything.
If he wants a different day, wouldn’t he normally suggest some dates himself?
Does this mean he’s not interested?
Also, if I send a follow-up message, what should I say?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
If he really wanted to see you, I think he’d take the initiative and suggest specific dates.
It feels like you’re someone he wanted to meet (and have sex with) on that first Thursday, but if that didn’t work out, he’s fine not seeing you at all.
If you don’t send another message, he’ll probably contact you again when he feels like it, asking, “Are you free on the ○th?”
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If this is someone you’d like to pursue a relationship with, I don’t think you should keep sending follow-up messages.
You can’t tell from this little information whether they’re interested or not.
If they’re someone you can meet in person rather than through an app, it’s best to agree on the date and place while you’re together.
If that’s not possible, talk directly by LINE call and make plans.
It’s the same with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan): surprisingly, it can be difficult to finalize plans through LINE alone.
When the other person doesn’t reply right away, you have no idea what they’re thinking, and the person doing the inviting ends up feeling restless.
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If this were a private romantic relationship, I’d think, “They’re keeping me on the back burner,” and I might only give them the same level of effort in return.
If they’re genuinely busy and take a while to coordinate their schedule, I wouldn’t send follow-up messages—I’d just leave them alone.
But if it kept happening repeatedly, I’d probably want to make a pointed comment like, “You were the one who invited me, so what’s going on?”
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I’m voting for Maezawa!
You should sign up and get some guidance from Paper Airplane. I think you could become a romance expert.
Oh—but don’t ask me. I’m only into papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and I’ve never turned a woman down when she’s asked, “Is the [date] okay?”
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If it’s a private encounter, that’s dating, isn’t it?
I think men’s mindsets and behavior are different when it comes to relationship advice versus papa-katsu相談.
Rather than worrying about that,
you should register with Universe and meet a better man.
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If it were a romantic relationship, you could talk about it and ask for advice from friends or anyone in your everyday life…
If you spoke to someone directly, they could explain, “It’s probably this,” based on all kinds of possibilities. It would be easier to understand and accept, and you’d feel calmer and more at ease.
The fact that anonymous question boxes even exist is because there are things you can’t discuss with friends in your everyday life.
On that question box, you went out of your way to write:
> “This is a private romantic relationship, not papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). We have mutual friends, so we didn’t meet through an app or anything.”
Given that, it’s only natural that the man wouldn’t want to dig any deeper.
Why don’t you just ask one of those mutual friends—or someone else—for advice?
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