Have you ever genuinely fallen for someone you met through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?

I adore my current papa (male supporter) more than anything. But there’s nothing I can do about it. All I can do is hope that our current relationship continues peacefully for a long time. Marika

I’ve been chasing women’s bodies at dating clubs, men’s esthetic salons, lounges, salons, stretch studios, and all sorts of other places, but I’ve never genuinely fallen for anyone, and it’s starting to feel empty. I only date incredibly beautiful, young women. I already told Tanto at the club, but I’ve gotten another girlfriend, so now I have three. They’re all truly gorgeous, kind, and the physical chemistry is perfect—but I just can’t fall for them for real. I joined Universe because I wanted to fall genuinely in love, and I’ve had plenty of chances at bat, but my heart feels like it has ED. Could someone prescribe me some emotional Viagra?

I’m not entirely sure what you mean by “truly liking someone,” but since it could put the other person at risk, I don’t enter relationships casually. So I do think I genuinely like the women I continue seeing, and I believe the allowance is the most important way to show those feelings. That’s why, in my case, it becomes especially important with someone who matters to me. In my case, perhaps because I’m relatively young—and probably because of the way I interact with them—there have been times when I could no longer keep things transactional. When that happened, sometimes I took a step back and let things cool down, while other times we ended things altogether.

I’m a female member, Potassium. I completely understand how you feel. I really love my papa, too. He’s my soulmate. I like him enough that I’d want to be with him even without an allowance, but that’s exactly why we’ve agreed to keep an allowance as the boundary between us as we continue seeing each other. (That was supposed to be the arrangement when we started seeing each other...) I don’t think of the allowance as support or anything like that. I see it as a “form of promise” that keeps us from crossing certain lines in each other’s lives. Also, if the other person is married, you may be attracted to him precisely because he’s married (to his current wife) and because the relationship began through a dating club. Personally, I think it’s risky to make decisions about the future based on temporary feelings... That’s why, even after I stop receiving an allowance from my papa—whether because I get married or meet someone I want to be with—I’d still like to stay close to my current papa as soulmates. He’s said he feels the same way! P.S. Even if things start as papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), the way the relationship develops afterward differs from person to person. In my case, while he is currently my “papa” and we have an allowance and an adult relationship (intimate), I see us as living in a utopian world. Once he is no longer my papa, I want us to become “respectable friends with a somewhat significant age gap” in the real world. That’s the kind of relationship I was looking for when I joined the club. That’s why I’m working on both my education and myself now, using the allowance my papa gives me, so that one day he’ll be able to say, “She’s a great friend of mine,” and be proud of me! The best choice is the one the person asking the question won’t regret a few years from now. That’s just my personal opinion, though. Club relationships are a utopia.

There are girls I genuinely like—and even truly care about—in the context of a relationship club. To be clear, I mean that I like them as much as possible within the context of a relationship club. I don’t mean that I want them as a girlfriend or want to marry them. Still, at this point, I feel that my feelings for them are stronger than my feelings for someone as a girlfriend or wife. Because this is an allowance-based relationship, I believe the positive feelings and the relationship can continue without fading or changing the way love or marriage often does. Being able to continue expressing your feelings clearly through an allowance is a wonderful way to stay connected without needing further explanation.

I like my partner as someone I’m in an allowance-based relationship with. Otherwise, I wouldn’t continue seeing them. I hope this allowance-based relationship continues, so I do my best to remain a good partner in this kind of arrangement.

I’ve never wanted to remarry, so I don’t think I’m serious about it. If I did become serious about someone and they were single too, I might consider marrying them. But I don’t think that’ll happen. Even if marriage feels right at the time, the passion always fades eventually, and you end up regretting it.

If you’ve genuinely fallen in love, you should end the arrangement. To them, this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and pursuing your feelings will only cause them trouble. That’s what they’re receiving an allowance for. Trying to force your feelings through without considering the inconvenience to the other person is nothing but selfishness. It’s no different from a creepy older guy becoming seriously infatuated. There have been several cases of people meeting at Universal Studios and eventually getting married, and some may celebrate and encourage that. However, I imagine there are far more cases where the other person was troubled—or where the person themselves got hurt because their partner was already married. So I can’t casually recommend it. Still, since the possibility isn’t completely zero, perhaps the right approach is to tell them, “I’ve fallen for you,” and, if they aren’t prepared to reciprocate, stop seeing them and end things. I don’t have personal experience with this, but I think that’s generally how it works.