A woman invited me on a hot spring trip. I’m honestly not that interested in traveling because work is so busy, but since this is her second invitation, I’m thinking of saying yes.
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If I were the one inviting her, I’d of course prepare a separate allowance for the trip. But if, as in this case, she’s the one who invites me on the trip, should I still prepare a separate allowance?
I’ve never traveled with a papa-katsu partner before.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂30s👑Universe male member
Yeah, back when I was a clueless beginner, I once invited her on a hot-spring trip myself and didn’t give her an allowance. Ah, those were the days.
I realized later that I was supposed to give her an allowance.
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She’s not a friends-with-benefits partner or someone you met through a dating app, right?
If this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), please cover her travel expenses and give her an allowance.
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Even if she’s the one who invites you on a trip, as in this case, should you still prepare an allowance separately?
Basically, I think this is a relationship based on an allowance, so it would be best to prepare the usual amount if you want to continue having a good relationship.
However, if you don’t want to increase the allowance and you weren’t the one hoping to go on a trip, you could consider the trip itself a gift.
In that case, it might make sense if you agreed not to be intimate during the trip or not to share a bath—but a trip like that feels rather strange.
It sounds like you’ve built a good relationship, so I think it would be best to give her the usual allowance as always.
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Isn’t being invited by the woman a sign that it’s a good relationship?
I’ve at least heard men say they want to go traveling together, but maybe that’s the image of a lost paradise that Papua-san was talking about. I can totally see why it would be scary to imagine a papa fantasizing about spending the night with his mistress, all excited and creepy lol.
If you end up sightseeing with someone who might be thinking about nothing but that the whole time, even the most beautiful scenery would probably feel like dark clouds were hanging over everything lol. Especially when night starts drawing near… that mood from the twilight scene in *Spirited Away* lol. Terrifying.
I’ve seen posts from women who forced themselves to go along despite not wanting to, but deliberately spending time and money on a horror experience seems pretty pointless lol.
I got carried away with my imagination. What I’m trying to say is: forget the allowance—can you actually make the trip itself enjoyable?
Of course, the woman’s feelings matter, but the questioner’s reluctance will show too if they’re forcing themselves. If you’re not really feeling it, I think you should call it off.
The fact that she invited you means she at least sees you as someone she could enjoy spending time with. So I think it could be an opportunity for the questioner to have a good time too.
If the scenery, sightseeing, food, driving, and even a sudden downpour all become fun memories, she may eventually bring it up in conversation herself, saying, “That was fun, wasn’t it?”
A trip that creates those kinds of memories with someone like that—that seems worth taking to me.
“Hey, want to go to the bath one more time? It’s huge and so much fun!”
Then the woman pushed me down and we had an adult relationship (intimate).
I still remember it fondly too lol.
The way I’m talking now, all excited and fantasizing, is pretty creepy lol.
Anyway, I’m going to switch gears and head out!
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As a general rule:
1. Give her an allowance for each night we stay.
2. Enjoy the trip without having an adult relationship.
The goal is simply to make it a fun trip. We book two separate rooms.
If she wants an adult relationship, we do so. From her perspective, it’s a special trip, so what she normally does carries less weight.
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Since an allowance is ultimately about how you feel, I think you should set your own standards.
If you go on a trip together without having an adult relationship (intimate), and he only covers transportation and travel expenses with no allowance, that could be acceptable depending on the relationship.
However, if you do have an adult relationship (intimate), isn’t it normal to receive an appropriate allowance for it?
Personally, I don’t see any reason for the allowance to differ based on whether the woman or the man initiated things.
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If she normally gets 5 for a pay-per-meeting arrangement, I give her 10. Whether it’s one night, two nights, or three, the amount stays the same.
We’re intimate only once during the entire trip. Don’t try anything while she’s half-asleep in the morning, and forget about going for round two.
Once you’ve decided to go, acting like you’re being dragged along is strictly off-limits. Give it your all, be proactive, and enjoy yourselves. A real gentleman also handles the reservations and suggests plans.
Choose the best accommodations and room you can reasonably afford. Book premium or first class for flights, Green Car or GranClass for the shinkansen, and add things like a spa treatment. That way, you’ll both be satisfied.
You don’t have to give her 11 or more. She’ll still keep inviting you, and if you stay cheerful, fun, and appreciative, the relationship can continue for years.
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Since it’s a great chance to become even closer, this is what I would do:
① Give her an allowance for an adult relationship for each night
② Enjoy the trip without having an adult relationship
My median allowance is around 130,000 yen, so for a three-day, two-night trip, I’d give her 260,000 yen and wouldn’t have H during the trip.
If we did, I’d add another 130,000 yen.
※I don’t want this to be misunderstood, but I only see girls who are expensive to date, so even if the guy is a good-looking older man with a great personality, I say no if the pay-per-meeting amount is under 100,000 yen.
There’s one more point: after giving her 260,000 yen for a trip she invited me on and finishing the trip without H, I pay close attention to how she behaves afterward.
If she says something like:
“I had such a great time on our hot-spring trip the other day♡
Thank you as always♪”
and brings me a small thank-you gift the next time we meet, or gives me especially good service with H, she moves into the stable, ongoing category.
But if she thinks, “What an easy mark,” shows little gratitude or appreciation, and says, “Next time, I want to go to ○○!” she gets demoted to the second string.
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With the women I used to see, I wouldn’t go on trips unless she was the one who invited me, but I still gave her an allowance.
That said, I didn’t give her anything extra—it was the same amount as for our usual adult relationship (intimate).
I’d casually ask, “Is it okay if the allowance is the same as usual for our adult relationship?” Some would say, “It’s fine since you have to cover the travel expenses,” while others would react, “Wait, you’re giving me an allowance too?” Both reactions were adorable, so I gave it to both of them.
(If a woman didn’t react adorably, I probably wouldn’t have continued seeing her in the first place, let alone gone on a trip with her.)
Since she’s the one inviting you, she probably likes you to some extent. If both of you are comfortable with the arrangement, I think that’s perfectly fine. I don’t think there’s one right answer.
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Since this is a compensated arrangement, it’s generally expected that you provide an allowance. However, rather than asking other people, I think you should discuss it directly with the woman herself.
Whether other people approve is beside the point. What matters is how the person you’re seeing feels about it, isn’t it?
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