My P is taking me shopping tomorrow and told me to think of something I’d like, but how expensive is too expensive to ask for? He gives me an allowance of 10 per pay-per-meeting arrangement.

In this case, rather than picking something up casually while you’re out, it can be helpful to think of it as shopping with a specific purpose planned in advance—just like going golfing, taking a trip, or dining at a high-end restaurant. Of course, it depends not only on how long you’ve been seeing each other, but also on how close you are… In that situation, I think the man is probably expecting to spend anywhere from 2.3 to 10 times the allowance. In fact, I’d be prepared to do that. And what matters to a man isn’t the price itself, but: How much she likes it, how happy it makes her, and whether it’s something she’s really wanted for a long time. Rather than holding back and choosing something cheaper, it feels great when she picks something she truly wanted—something that shows clearly on her face, something she loves. Even if it ends up being inexpensive or something whose value I don’t understand, if she’s genuinely thrilled about it, that makes me happy too. In short, it should be something she wants most right now, has been thinking about for a long time, and will be genuinely moved by.

Aside from special occasions like birthdays, Christmas, and White Day, my experience has been receiving anywhere from a few thousand yen to ¥50,000 worth of shopping. Honestly, how I feel about it depends on how much of a priority I am to her, but at first, I think it’s safer to keep things modest, as the other respondents have suggested.

I think the safest approach is to start small. Don’t get greedy—ask for cosmetics or clothes worth a few thousand yen to around ¥10,000, and show a little charm. If you start by asking for items costing ¥100,000 or ¥200,000, there’s a risk he’ll think, “Ah, she’s just another typical papa-katsu girl,” even if he doesn’t completely lose interest. No matter how generous (well-paying) a papa (a male supporter) is, it’s pretty questionable whether asking for something expensive will work in your favor. Come to think of it, when I traveled to Guam with my current generous papa before COVID, he asked me at the duty-free shop, “Is there anything you want?” I said, “That’s so sweet! But I’m not sure, and this is so sudden that I can’t decide…” and didn’t even ask for a ¥4,000 lipstick. In the end, the first thing I ever asked him for was a $7 pedicure from a local supermarket on the last day. Looking back, I feel like that has come back to me many times over now, so I think not being greedy pays off in the long run.

I know it’s probably something you can only find out by asking your papa, but… If it were me, I’d have something in the 20,000–30,000 yen range in mind. If there were something I really wanted that cost more, I’d probably ask him to help me pay for it, while covering part of it myself. Shopping together sounds nice! Have fun!!