It’s been a day since he said, “I’ll work things out and contact you tomorrow,” but I haven’t heard anything.
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Should I just give up...?
I’m sorry to ask again. I’m the one who asked about the man who suddenly stopped responding.
https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/13816
This man isn’t someone I met through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan); he’s a single man I met privately.
To briefly explain what happened:
His parents became seriously ill, and he stopped responding.
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After three weeks without hearing from him, I sent him a message saying that I hoped I wasn’t bothering him by contacting him and that I was worried about him.
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He said, “Not at all. I’m happy to hear from you. Let’s meet again soon.”
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I replied, “Of course I’d love to see you. When would be convenient for you? But please don’t push yourself too hard.”
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He said, “I’ll work things out and contact you tomorrow.”
And now a day has passed without any further messages.
I’m sure he’s busy, and perhaps he really can’t make plans because he’s going through a difficult time right now. There could be all sorts of reasons...
Should I wait without sending another message? Or would it be okay to wait a little longer and then send something like, “Is everything still difficult for you right now? Please don’t push yourself too hard”?
Thank you again for all your helpful answers before.
As Mack-san said, I do feel that he’s afraid of getting hurt and is waiting for me to confess my feelings.
He often made light hints like:
・“I don’t think any man would turn down a confession from you, ○○-chan.”
・“You’re worried that if you message too much before we start dating, I might find it creepy, right? But once we’re together, I’d want to message you even more!”
・“If we started dating, I’d want to take you out to lots of places and do all sorts of things for you.”
He gave me plenty of openings like that, but I wasn’t able to steer things in the right direction...
When we meet next, would it be okay for me to take the initiative more—basically, to guide things toward a confession if it seems like he’s about to confess to me...?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Why are you asking here instead of asking them directly?
From what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like they’re interested. You’re better off moving on and looking for someone else.
Marika
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An ordinary guy would sleep with you.
I honestly can’t figure out why the man you’re seeing hasn’t made a move, but maybe he’s intimidated because you’re giving off a huge “marry me” vibe and he’s worried you might become emotionally unstable after sleeping with him.
But normally, a guy would go for it, right...?
There’s also a good chance he’s married—but if he were married, he’d be even more likely to do it... I have no idea.
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He’s still at work, so try waiting a little longer without getting your hopes up.
This man practically reeks of being married, though…
And I can’t help thinking, “Come on, there’s no way that convenient story about his parent collapsing is true.”
You’ll probably feel less hurt if you don’t expect too much. Please be careful not to become depressed from the shock (꒪╻꒪|||) if you trust him and he betrays you.
There are plenty of other men out there.
If this man disappeared, would you really be unable to get through tomorrow? That’s not the case, is it?
It seems like you’ve forgotten what you truly need to be concerned about. Try figuring that out first.
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I read that women who know how to wait tend to have more successful relationships.
Apparently, waiting can sometimes change the other person’s feelings. Even when things seem to be going well, sending follow-up messages can make the other person feel negatively.
Waiting also gives you time to work on yourself. The key is how meaningfully you can spend that time!
Another benefit of waiting is that it helps you think about the other person—maybe they’re busy right now, or maybe this isn’t a good time to message them. Instead of only thinking, “I want to contact them,” you learn to put yourself in their shoes and make them the focus.
I read this and thought, “That makes sense!” But honestly, when I like someone, I’m the type to send lots of follow-up messages. If I want to see them, I just say so clearly.
Sure, I’ve been left on read, but I don’t think it ever led to anything truly bad. It really depends on the person, though. I guess I could wait three days?!
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He seems like the kind of guy who’d be popular, so he’s probably juggling around ten women.
If you’re his number one, he’ll reply right away.
What does “I need to coordinate” even mean?
Either make your move and aim to be his number one without waiting around, or give up and look for another guy.
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If they mean that much to you, rather than pulling back and feeling sad, why not try sending:
“I want to see you.”
Sometimes people really are dealing with various things or have several matters to take care of at once, so it may be best to consider one day without a reply perfectly normal.
I just hope you won’t end up regretting it.
Akari
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