About LINE messages.

Potassium, you’re a new answerer here, aren’t you? Good evening. That’s the chemical symbol, right? As for messaging on LINE, I guess I match the other person’s style. Some people like to keep the conversation going, while the woman I see most often keeps it to the bare minimum. The person I message the most is actually an old friend and ex-girlfriend I’ve known for eight years. We might exchange around ten messages each way every day—funny videos and things like that. If you want someone who enjoys messaging, give up on her and look for a woman who actually likes chatting.

If you’re confident in your looks, you should just do things your way… But if they don’t reach out first, I wouldn’t contact them either. They probably don’t like you as much as you think. By the way, I use emoticons and yellow smiley faces in my private life too. If the other person doesn’t use them, you don’t have to either, but basically, I don’t really care that much about it. When I do use them, I usually choose them based on how I’m feeling at the time. But I figure as long as it’s a smile, it’s probably fine. To be perfectly honest, I’m pretty casual about it…

At 50, you really don’t need to worry that much about LINE… Using lots of emojis can come across as cringey, but using them occasionally is fine. I’d say up to three or four times a week should be okay, though it depends on what kind of relationship you have with that woman. Also, you may be the only one who thinks you’re attractive. My apologies if you really are handsome.

Don’t you think a guy who carries a cool, wistful air is more attractive than some self-pitying old man? It’s not cool to hide the sadness of “She won’t reply to my LINE” behind self-pitying excuses like, “I just need to get used to this world.” You should face that sadness head-on. But I think a fresh, melancholy guy who doesn’t wallow in self-pity is more appealing. Running away into self-pity is selfish in its own way. No one’s going to pick you up.

So, you’d actually like to message him more, but since he only contacts you to arrange dates, you’re unsure how often you should reach out—is that right? I didn’t realize some men worry about how to use emojis, too… As long as you don’t overdo it, I think it’s fine. Personally, how often I stay in touch depends on the person. With the papa I see for dinner only (no intimacy), we talk nonstop whenever we meet about what’s happened, how we’ve been feeling, and anything we’ve been worried about since our last date. We’re basically just friends, so I feel there’s no need to message each other that much between dates. My monthly-arrangement papa told me during the first few months that I should value my own time when we weren’t meeting and didn’t need to contact him. But we’re close, and he’s happy when I message or call, so we sometimes have long phone conversations. If you want to stay in touch regularly, I think it’s best to wait until you’ve become someone you both genuinely enjoy seeing more often.

I don’t think it’s weird just because someone uses emojis. I might be curious if they use a kaomoji and I wonder, “How do you even search for that one?” though… I don’t mind messaging on LINE every day. Actually, far from minding it, messaging every day feels normal to me. If I don’t hear from someone for a day, I just assume they’re busy, so I don’t think you need to worry about it that much—though I suppose it depends on the person. So, whether we message once a week or every day, I don’t find it weird. I talk to the people I want to keep in touch with. That’s all. I don’t think you need to worry about it too much, but what kind of incredibly busy woman are you seeing?! Unless she’s at work, I reply right away!

As I’ve written elsewhere before, LINE is “a tool for people who are already close to become even closer,” not “a tool for people who don’t have much of a relationship yet to become close.” Because conversations tend to remain superficial when limited to short messages, and because feelings can be expressed so easily with stickers and the like, it’s almost impossible to become close through LINE alone. So, first, focus on deepening your relationship during the time you spend together in person. Worry about LINE afterward. For reference, I exchange more than ten rounds of messages a day and also talk on the phone with people I’m close to, but even one exchange with a papa (a male supporter) I’m not close to feels like a burden. That’s really the point.

I’m a female member, Potassium. To avoid any misunderstanding, I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as a pseudo-romantic relationship. I have an adult relationship (intimate) with one papa (a male supporter), and we exchange around 8–10 long LINE messages a day, including greetings and stories about what happened that day. I also have a “letter date” partner—we’ve never met and there’s no allowance involved—and we exchange about four messages a day. It’s more like being pen pals. I’ve done letter dates with several other people as well. *I don’t want anyone to think badly of my papas, so I decline allowance when it comes to letter dates. If they strongly insist that I accept it, then I do.* ① I find messages with absolutely no kaomoji scary because I can’t tell what the other person is thinking. However, when I receive yellow-face emojis or hearts from an older man who isn’t genuinely emotionally close to me, I often think, “This papa has a different sense of distance from me. That’s kind of cute, haha.” I think how a woman interprets it depends on whether she normally uses kaomoji when messaging the respondent, whether using them fits the character the respondent presents when meeting her, and how emotionally close they are. So it really depends on the relationship you have with the PJ. ② If she’s a girl who’s only interested in the allowance, there’s a good chance she finds it “a hassle”—whether that means sending LINE messages herself or getting messages from her papa. If she has videos or games to watch, or is out having dinner with friends, I imagine she probably just scrolls past and deletes the messages. I can’t really speak for girls who treat it like sales, though. Based on the girls I know today—I’m in my late twenties, and my friends range from 21 to 40, especially those in their twenties—I get the impression that women fall into three types: those who message a lot once they become close, those who barely message even when they’re close, and those who feel pressured by the idea that they have to reply. Among the latter two types, my friends tend to feel like, “Ugh, what a hassle,” when they get messages from someone they’re not emotionally interested in. This is just how I see it based on my short life, but if the girl isn’t actively asking questions in her messages because she wants to get to know you, there’s probably a good chance she finds it bothersome. Also, if she doesn’t send things like “Good morning,” “Good night,” “Good luck at work,” or “You must be tired” depending on the situation, I feel that often means she’s the type who finds replying a chore. If she doesn’t reply at all—leaves it unread, reads it and ignores it, only sends a stamp, or replies only to the necessary part—please take the hint. You can’t see someone’s face on LINE, so their appearance has nothing to do with it. And if you’ve already reached the point of associating the words with your own looks… I’m afraid I can’t feel any affection in the messages. If the girl’s messages don’t make the questioner feel, “My time messaging this person is worth more than the money,” then it’s no different from just being Twitter. Sorry if that sounded harsh. That’s just my personal opinion.

Ahaha (lol) You’ve got to use emojis too (lol). I don’t think you need to use them all the time, but use them occasionally and have fun with them. I’ve been messaging my partner on LINE every day since we started seeing each other. It’s basically one exchange a day, but it’s fun (lol). She looks forward to my messages too. You should build a close, solid relationship with your partner. If you only talk about your next plans, I feel like you’re missing out on more than half the fun of the relationship. P.S. Daily LINE messages ↑ Correction: Daily scheduled correspondence We switched to LINE about a year ago? Maybe six months? Before that, we used email.

It depends on the person. Personally, I’m always in touch with people through LINE, Chatwork, or other messaging apps, so there are some people I exchange messages with every day. The amount of the allowance doesn’t really affect that. Sometimes I’m the one who reaches out, and sometimes they are. When they message me first, I’m happy and usually reply right away. Most of them don’t really use emojis, but sometimes I can tell from the stickers they send that they bought them to match my style, which makes me happy too. That said, I’m older, so maybe that’s why. Akari

Well, at 50, is it really worth getting so worked up over your LINE exchanges? As someone in his 50s too, I’d like to cheer you on and say: stand tall and be more confident! You say you’re confident in your looks, so if your LINE conversations are troubling you, make the most of your greatest asset and have the determination to completely captivate the women of Uchu Club! Oh, and don’t forget the allowance—mwah! Even Joe, who can hardly be called polished in either appearance or manner, managed to make her scream not only while rafting on the Shiribetsu River in Niseko again this year, but in bed as well—and successfully completed his mission of sharing a deep kiss at the summit of Mount Rishiri. Pull yourself together!

I only message three people: her, my ace, and the former ace I’ve broken up with yet again. Other than that, it’s mostly just arranging schedules. If women want to win at the papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) game, they should make their own effort to “market” themselves—like sending LINE messages—but everyone only does that at first, right? This has nothing to do with the allowance. Whether it’s pay-per-meeting 10, 15, or 17, the frequency of our messages doesn’t increase. Ah, actually, maybe that’s not quite true. It might change at pay-per-meeting 20. I give my former ace 20 or more per meeting, while my ace would be around 100 on a pay-per-meeting basis. Any papa (a male supporter) who can exchange LINE messages with his PJ every day while paying 5 or less per meeting is seriously skilled. I’m ultimately just a man with money to throw around, so I have no real appeal as a man.

Try holding back on messaging her first. Women usually send and talk on LINE several times—or even dozens of times (hundreds?!)—more than men do, so if she isn’t reaching out, that tells you something. > One or two exchanges on LINE once a week Does that mean you’re not meeting every week either? In that case, it’s only natural things would turn out that way…

①Personally, I think overdoing it is creepy, but having no contact at all can come across as unfriendly too. ②I think it depends on the woman’s personality and the relationship between the two of you. Personally, I have some women I message on LINE almost every day, and others I only contact when making plans. For me, women who only message about scheduling feel too much like prostitutes and aren’t very interesting, so I tend to move them to the back burner.