Question: If having money makes you popular, why do men do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? I would think women would approach them because they have money...
Lately, I’ve been thinking about this, and while chatting with my girlfriends, we came to the conclusion that these three things are important when it comes to thinking, “I might really like this person”:
① Feelings (love)
② Time
③ Money
And yes, that’s also the order of priority.
The process of falling out of love with someone you’re dating goes from ① to ③.
Even if you’re starting to lose sight of your feelings for them, it’s still okay as long as you’re seeing each other often. At worst, it’s fine if they spend money on you when you only meet occasionally.
The process of falling for someone you’ve just met goes from ③ to ①.
I can’t even get close to someone who clearly looks broke—for my own protection. Having money means nothing if they won’t make time to see me, and I’m not interested in someone who meets me without any affection and then just uses me and moves on.
ーーー
In other words, simply having money only attracts money-hungry women. Whether she’s your girlfriend or someone involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) doesn’t make much difference—it’s just a different name for the relationship.
Once the money runs out, I think their affection will run out too.
At least my wonderful papa (a male supporter) doesn’t just throw money around aggressively. He gives me his time and genuine feelings (love) as well.
So, does it have money, time, and love? (A〇ful)
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’ll let Kosaka from our staff weigh in as well!
It’s true that many women may approach a gentleman because he has money, but there are probably times when their personalities don’t click or they don’t fit the kind of woman he’s looking for, aren’t there?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
That’s true—wealthy men are definitely attractive to a certain group of women, no matter what. But whether someone genuinely likes them for who they are, or whether it develops into an ongoing relationship, depends on the individual.
I know several business owners who have girlfriends they helped leave the nightlife industry, and they’re wonderful people on the inside, too. Those women seem to value them because they wouldn’t be able to maintain their current standard of living without them.
I’m not here to judge that, but what these wonderful men have in common is that they don’t flaunt their wealth or look down on people who aren’t as well-off. That makes them refreshing to be around.
Men who become arrogant and casually put others down don’t seem truly attractive to me. In the end, I think they’re only popular because of their money.
That’s just my personal opinion.
Akari
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Wealthy men often don’t want to tell others just how wealthy they are.
Even when applying to join a dating club, they’ll say things like:
“Would ¥10 million be enough?”
“Is that too little?”
“Would ¥20 million be safe?”
They try to report the lowest possible income that will still get them through the screening.
(There’s actually no income requirement, though.)
Then SALON was launched, and it turned out that the members’ incomes easily exceeded ¥40 million a year. And since that ¥40 million is after tax planning, they must actually be earning considerably more than that.
(That said, people who take serious measures to reduce their taxes would probably report an official income of less than ¥20 million.)
I think the reason is that once people know you earn a lot, you get aggressively targeted by salespeople, and women may approach you purely for your money, making it difficult to live and act as you wish.
With that in mind, I suspect they may be fed up with women who approach them for money outside of dating clubs.
At dating clubs, a woman tends to view someone earning ¥10 million a year and someone earning ¥100 million in much the same way, so perhaps that’s one of the advantages.
Then again, maybe they don’t think that deeply about it. Perhaps the real appeal is simply being able to choose the women they like for themselves.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Exactly. You can meet women who are even more attractive than “blacklisted” girls without using a dating club, so I’ve shifted my main focus back to meeting women outside dating clubs.
Lounges in major cities are basically showcases of beautiful women, so they’re absolutely packed with gorgeous women. At a dating club, I’m guaranteed a yes 100% of the time when I meet someone, but at a lounge my success rate doesn’t even reach 10%. That’s what makes it fun, though.
The women at men’s esthetic salons are great too.
That said, I met the most beautiful woman of my life—including personality—through Universe, so I don’t think it’s a matter of one being better or worse than the other.
I think you might as well use both without taking either too seriously.
Also, more precisely:
× Having money makes you popular
○ Spending money well makes you popular
Guys who show off how wealthy they are at dating clubs but then offer a measly ¥50,000 pay-per-meeting are treated like they don’t even exist in the regular dating scene.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
A half-rich guy isn’t automatically going to be popular, you know.
And just because someone has a high income doesn’t mean a woman will go along with him if he’s not her type.
Are you really a man? Maybe you’ve been reading too many manga.
Though I think you already know that better than anyone…
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
What’s popular there is the money, not the person who has it.
Go to a hostess club—you’ll have a chance to learn that.
Your question is wrong from the very beginning, so try asking it again.
Actually, never mind. It’s such a pointless question that you don’t need to ask it again.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I do it because it’s fun being able to spend time with women I wouldn’t normally get to meet.
Besides, there probably aren’t that many women who approach someone just because they have money.
For example, even if a woman knows her boss is wealthy, she doesn’t usually make advances toward him, right?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Exactly. I don’t think you need to.
I think people become interested and either join, or do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) without joining, if something happens to spark their interest—like a friend genuinely being a member—or if they have unavoidable circumstances.
> Having money makes you popular
I’d always thought that ordinary dating without an allowance and papa-katsu were completely different things.
But depending on how you meet, papa-katsu can turn into a genuinely meaningful relationship—or even something more than that.
Not at all. If you’re meeting the woman’s expectations when it comes to her allowance, that can actually mean the connection between you is that much stronger.
To describe the difference between my longtime girlfriend and women from the club:
Even during the COVID-19 pandemic, the frequency of meeting and the intimacy with club women didn’t change.
On the other hand, my longtime girlfriend lives with her grandmother, so we hardly met at all during the pandemic.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Of course, the reason they use dating clubs is that they lack enough appeal as men for money alone not to be enough. Isn’t that obvious?
But you mustn’t point that out. They already know it themselves, so when someone does, they send back ridiculously long messages trying to justify themselves, which is a huge pain. Once you’re an adult, learn to let things slide（笑）
If you’re not using money as your weapon, I do think it’s efficient. Hitting on women at Starbucks takes time too. The process can be fun, so that’s fine, but there’s no staff list, meaning you have to keep going there one by one. Even if you target newcomers at delivery services or cast a wide net through newcomer features in industry media, there are plenty of lies, and they may not even be working that day, so it’s hard to actually meet anyone.
With Universe, on the other hand, reasonably attractive women are introduced every day, and the information is fairly accurate, so you can secure a decent-quality stream of prospects. You still have to work on your own batting average, but having plenty of chances at bat is a huge advantage.
Taro
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
