First, let me apologize in advance.
You may wonder what I intend to do with this information, and I’m sorry for the length of this post, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I’d really appreciate it if you could share your thoughts.
●Questions
① My original impression of Universe was that it exists so that two people can enjoy a mutually satisfying relationship as lovers, rather than being a service that arranges adult relationships (intimate). So why are there so many people who put money first and force themselves to continue these relationships—especially those who post questions in the Q&A box?
Are most people actually like that, even if they don’t say so openly?
② Is the reason I get this impression simply that I don’t know many of the other female members and there is so much information coming through the Q&A box? Or is it because many male members take the position that they can have an adult relationship (intimate) as long as they pay? Do women who join gradually become blinded by money? (If that’s the case, money is really scary...)
I’d like to understand why there seem to be so many people like those described in ①.
●Background
I get the impression that many of the women registered with Universe are primarily motivated by money. (Especially those who ask about allowances in the Q&A box, or who raise their allowance instead of simply declining when it comes to the relationship.)
I believe that dating a man solely for money is no different from working in the sex industry or at a sex cabaret club.
When I saw someone write in the Q&A box, “I put up with it for the money...” (and so on), I found myself wondering why this person was doing “self-employed, pseudo-sex work” through Universe.
To begin with, I believe that allowances in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) are essentially a way of receiving an unusually large amount of money compared with a regular job, and that an allowance exists because the papa (a male supporter) and the woman share affection and the papa is like a kind benefactor.
(Even more so when you consider that Tokyo’s famously high minimum wage is ¥1,041 an hour...though of course it depends on the type of job.)
My idea of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is that, since everyone has their own preferences and kinks, there may be compromises involved in being together—but not having to force yourself—as one of the previous respondents said, the question is, “Is there love in it?” (It should be a relationship built on enough trust to say, “I don’t like that particular activity” if you’re uncomfortable with it.)
I’d of course be happy if my allowance were given so I could work on myself and become someone who can give my papa even happier times, ultimately raising my “ideal woman” level. But I don’t need money just to do something I don’t want to do.
This is only my personal opinion, and I don’t intend to impose it on anyone. Still, as a fellow Universe member, it makes me sad to see so many people become desperate and cling to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as “self-employed, pseudo-sex work.” I wish more women involved in papa-katsu would value themselves a little more.
And if receiving offers and being dazzled by money causes me to gradually become that kind of woman too, I’d like to stay mindful of it for my own personal growth. I would appreciate hearing everyone’s individual opinions.
I’m sorry for the length and the rambling post.
P.S. Thanks to some of your previous answers, I was able to meet a wonderful papa (a male supporter), and I’m thoroughly enjoying my activities with Universe.
To Kazu, Fuu, Marika, Dai, Maezawa, Early, Misho, Mac, and Himawari, who took the time to answer my questions:
Thank you so much.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m glad to hear you found a good papa.
① Not everyone is like that.
However, I think there are women who don’t receive many offers but have a target amount in mind, so they feel they have to put up with certain relationships to reach it.
There probably aren’t that many women running their own independent sex-work businesses. Working at a non-penetrative adult entertainment venue is a more efficient way to find men like that.
② It’s not just about being blinded by money. There’s also the danger that your lifestyle rises and your sense of money gradually becomes distorted.
For example, if someone earning around ¥200,000 a month is living in an apartment with rent exceeding ¥100,000, they can’t really make ends meet without doing papa-katsu, right?
Once they start wanting designer goods and their desires keep growing, they probably end up thinking, “I need to do even more of this—but where are all the wealthy people?”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m glad the person asking the question was able to meet such a wonderful papa (a male supporter).
I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because I needed money and wanted someone who could support me emotionally.
I think everyone has their own reasons, but people whose arrangements are going well don’t need to ask for advice, so I feel they probably don’t post many questions. I was a beginner at the time, so I read them for reference. I also wanted to know how others viewed and dealt with things I personally couldn’t accept, and I was helped several times by asking questions.
When you’re struggling financially, I can understand feeling that you have to put up with certain things in a relationship in order to solve the immediate problem. Women also have the anxiety of not knowing whether they’ll receive another offer or meet someone wonderful in the future. I was fortunate enough to meet a truly good person, so I rarely had to enter into that kind of relationship, but I imagine there are people who haven’t been so lucky.
I think you have to carefully consider what you want to prioritize before making a decision. If it’s money, then once you’ve made that choice for yourself, it’s important to be prepared for it and not complain afterward.
I registered with that resolve.
As a result, I now live with the mindset of “valuing both myself and the other person.”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
First of all, I’m glad you found someone who’s a good match.
Unlike people who are overly focused on money, you treat your papa (a male supporter) as a person, showing him respect and genuine affection, like a benefactor from a fairy tale, while interacting with him thoughtfully and courteously. I hope I can meet a woman like that too.
I wish there were more people like you, but someone with such a wonderful outlook is rare and precious.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
First of all, I’m glad the person asking the question was able to meet someone good.
As for your questions, regarding ①, I don’t think any of us answering here—or the people who submit questions to the Q&A box—have conducted surveys involving a sufficient number of subjects. So I don’t think we can know whether most people are really like that. Everyone’s personal bias is probably influencing their view to some extent, so it’s ultimately based on the impression that person has formed.
As for ②, I think it’s because girls who are managing their relationships successfully tend not to come to the Q&A box very often. If they’re having problems, they may not have anyone else to consult, which is why they turn to this site. That may be why you’re getting the impression you described.
Ideally, if people could take precautions—whether with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or anything else—before they became truly desperate, they could avoid being taken advantage of or ending up in situations where they had no choice but to accept unfavorable terms to some extent. In reality, though, I imagine that’s difficult.
For people who are already desperate or having trouble meeting someone good, I’ve recently come to feel that saying “don’t date someone you’re not comfortable with” may understandably sound like an idealistic platitude. Still, I can’t think of any other way besides sticking firmly to that principle.
I don’t expect men who try to take advantage of women to suddenly change their ways just because someone else tells them off. So I believe the chances of resolving the woman’s dissatisfaction are higher if she simply refuses to accept those terms.
Also, if you encounter a male member who isn’t gentlemanly, I think you should report him thoroughly to the club. The club should carefully verify the facts and, depending on the circumstances, consistently take strict action, including expelling him.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
A sexy actress I’m seeing once let something slip:
“People who’ve lived a smooth, trouble-free life probably wouldn’t understand.”
She grew up in a complicated family situation, ran away from home in middle school, spent her youth working in the adult entertainment industry, and eventually became a sexy actress. She’s really had a tough life.
What kind of answer do you think she would give if she read this question? Take a moment to think about it.
That said, she’s an incredibly positive person and doesn’t regret her past at all. She loves who she is now. That’s why I like her.
It’s rare to meet someone so fun to talk to and so insightful.
She’s far more intelligent and attractive than people who haven’t really struggled but pretend they understand and give answers or ask questions anyway.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
There are many young women in dating clubs who have limited life experience and are still immature, so in a sense, it’s understandable that they become blinded by money.
The online articles and ads everywhere also tend to promote the idea that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is about tricking older men for money, and that life is easy if you can deceive a wealthy man. The benefits of being a mistress are difficult to explain, so few people are likely to understand them.
I’ve also been with my papa (a male supporter) for a long time, and I’ve come to deeply understand many things—the advantages of being a mistress, my papa’s affection, and his desires as a man. But if things had gone slightly differently, I might have ended up as nothing more than a woman who deceives older men and takes their money.
You should also be grateful for your current situation and let your papa know how much you appreciate it.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
A lot of people are struggling with student loans, after all. If you’re short on money and can’t find anyone decent, I guess you do what you have to do.
Still, finding a good papa (a male supporter) would probably make a big difference in your stress levels.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
This is a very rough way of dividing them, but I think there are two types of female members: those in allowance-based relationships and those doing independent sex work.
Both types post in the Q&A box, but I feel that women doing independent sex work tend to vent their frustrations because they’re stressed. Perhaps many of them are emotionally immature and unable to manage their own moods.
By contrast, women who are in relationships they genuinely find satisfying probably don’t have much need to ask questions in the Q&A box.
I believe that almost every relationship requires both people to make some kind of compromise in order to continue. Whether it’s a marriage or a relationship without an allowance, everyone makes compromises of one kind or another. In allowance-based relationships, I think the range of compromises is expanded by the amount of the allowance. It’s something like the “allowance handicap theory” that Mac-san advocated.
Women doing independent sex work are probably approaching these relationships with that mindset. Naturally, their male partners then treat them as independent sex workers, which causes them stress and traps them in a vicious cycle.
But perhaps they’re spoiled people who would rather work in the sex industry—or take a ¥1,000-an-hour part-time job—than accept a relationship they don’t find satisfying.
In most cases, I think people go crazy when they have no money because of how they earn it, and when they have money because of how they spend it. So I don’t think the concern you mentioned—that “being blinded by money, they’ll gradually become that kind of woman every time they receive an offer”—is warranted, unless they were already doing independent sex work to begin with.
P.S.
After writing this, I started to feel that describing them as “people in allowance-based relationships” and “people doing independent sex work” isn’t entirely accurate.
It might be better to say “people in relationships they find satisfying” and “people in relationships they don’t find satisfying.”
That’s because, among women doing something like independent sex work, there seem to be many who have previous experience in the sex industry and are perfectly capable of having only relationships they genuinely find satisfying.
The people you’re referring to as those who turn to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—or “independent, pseudo-sex work”—when they’re desperate are probably people in relationships they don’t find satisfying. In other words, they’re half-baked.
It’s unavoidable that there are many half-baked people, but half-baked people remain half-baked through and through, and I think they spend their time ranting because they can’t accept their own circumstances.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
