The papa I’d been seeing for over a year ended things with me… He said it was because he’s been busy, but he didn’t seem that way until recently, so maybe he came to dislike me because I did something wrong. I just can’t think of what it could have been.
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So I’d like to ask the men here: What kinds of things have made you want to end things with a girl you’d been seeing for a long time?
He was a really good person, so if there was anything I failed to do properly, I’d like to apologize and hopefully get back together.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
You’d probably be better off looking for another papa.
If you’re that attached, you could try asking to get back together—you have nothing to lose.
Though if he’s already found another woman he likes, getting back together may be difficult.
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If the man has already decided to end things, apologizing probably won’t lead to reconciliation.
To answer seriously, I feel that when a man ends a long-term relationship with a woman, it’s usually not because of just one incident.
To put it bluntly, did you perhaps take his affection for granted or let your guard down?
Be careful not to treat the next man you meet the same way.
That said, I’ve never personally been the one to end things with a woman I’d been seeing for a long time, so I can’t really say more than that.
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> I want to apologize for anything I may have done wrong and try to get back together with him.
You haven’t said anything about what your relationship was usually like, how much allowance you received, or how much time you spent together. You also haven’t mentioned how many papas you’ve had in the past, how many you have now, what you do for a living, your age, height, weight, or body type. You haven’t even said what he told you when he ended things.
There isn’t even a clue as to what you might have done wrong. If someone could figure that out from no information at all, they’d either have to be an ideal supporter—or a con artist.
Or maybe a fortune-teller?
I suppose you may have left those details out because you only wanted to know what the other commenters would do. But if you want to know the reason, I think you’ll need to provide more information.
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Just like dating apps, in a dating club the papa side can easily start feeling like “there are endless women out there,” so if you remain exactly the same as before, they’ll inevitably get bored of you.
Have you grown or changed in any way during the year since you first met that papa? Has he ever said things like, “You’re an interesting girl,” “You’re really working hard,” “That’s impressive,” or “I never knew you had that side to you”?
If not, there’s a good chance he sees you as someone who’s only attractive on the outside, and he’ll very likely get bored after a certain amount of time.
If you were at 100 when you first met, and that number decreases every time you meet until it reaches zero, he’ll get bored. So you need to keep growing yourself to 110, 120, and beyond, continually showing him new sides of you.
It may sound harsh, but I think what’s really being tested is your overall ability to be engaging as a person—not just as a woman.
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Even if no one has done anything wrong, I don’t think it can continue if things stay as they are.
Aside from the physical decline that comes with age, your partner may have many qualities that improve over time, such as his financial means and gentlemanly behavior.
If he’s someone other people besides you would also find attractive, that may explain it.
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Getting someone hooked, huh?
If they pretend to really love you or say they want to marry you, you can genuinely fall for it, get completely hooked, and end up unable to walk away—even if your allowance doubles.
I managed to do that with about three people. Those arrangements lasted over five years.
If you just take a passive approach, you’ll get bored after about a year.
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I’m more of a long-term arrangement person, but long-term relationships are difficult, aren’t they?
In my case, I tend to think, “Well, I guess it can’t be helped,” or “Maybe this is just how it is.” To begin with, I don’t have especially high expectations of the women I date. Still, I understand that, since most papas are paying allowances that aren’t exactly small (at least that’s how I see it), they naturally expect a high level from the women they date.
That said, it’s difficult to identify the exact cause this time. But in https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/13695, Makeotoko made a very good point.
In particular:
> I won’t deny that women are often treated unfairly, but when a woman meets a good papa, I wish she would make a once-in-a-lifetime effort to get him hooked. It’s such a waste otherwise.
I think that gets to the heart of relationships at a dating club.
At first, you may think someone is great, but once you start wondering whether it’s worth continuing, I think the reality is that a high level of dating is expected. It’s much the same as what Kazu said about “letting my guard down,” and what Mac said about “preparing one new topic to talk about every time we meet—always keeping things fresh!”
> Maybe she disliked me because of something I did wrong, but I can’t think of what it was.
I don’t really know what directly led to the breakup, so this may not answer your question, but I think Makeotoko’s comment is brilliant. I hope you’ll find it helpful.
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You simply weren’t that much of a match or each other’s type to begin with…
P.S.
> Maybe they started to dislike me because of something I did.
That may have been because of something on their end—or something on yours. There’s no way to know…
What I can say is that either you didn’t have the kind of compatibility where the relationship would feel more special the longer it continued, or you weren’t the type of person whose relationships grow more special over time in the first place. In either case, it wouldn’t have lasted long.
When both people are the type to feel increasingly special about each other, the longer they’re together, the harder it becomes to pull away.
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In my case, I was the one who ended things because being in the relationship sometimes made me feel miserable.
They tried to convince me to stay, but that only made me feel even more miserable.
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In my personal experience, it’s usually either when the woman starts letting her guard down, or when she wasn’t really his type to begin with.
If you can’t think of anything in particular, maybe she simply wasn’t his type from the start.
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I recently broke things off with a woman who had multiple papas and a handsome boyfriend (basically a player).
The reason I ended it was that, after getting told off by several female respondents in a row, I finally came to my senses and decided I needed to take hygiene, risk management, and my ethics much more seriously.
Lately, my ace had been putting more and more pressure on me with comments like, “I only have H with you” and “I’ll never leave you.” I felt that if I happened to pass an STI on to her, things might not end with just a breakup…
I also said goodbye to a girl who slept soundly for over two hours during our room dates three times in a row and was completely passive whenever we had H.
She had an incredibly curvy figure—almost Brazilian—and while she never outright said, “You’re lucky to be able to have me for around 130,000 yen, right?” she was clearly far too full of herself.
That said, once you’ve been together for a year, you grow attached, and it becomes hard to break things off for any reason other than running out of money. So perhaps the questioner’s papa simply ran out of funds.
By the way, SMS is really convenient when ending things. Why does everyone like LINE so much?
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