I hate how awful I feel about myself for doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) every time I see my boyfriend. If I didn’t truly love him—or wasn’t confident that he loved me—I could probably cheat or do papa-katsu without a second thought, but I love him so much that I feel increasingly guilty whenever I see him. I’ve been seeing my papas longer, but I’ve never viewed them as men in that sense. I like them as people, not as members of the opposite sex. If I didn’t have to have sex, I’d rather not do it.
This content is machine-translated.
Apparently, nearly 90% of married papas are no longer intimate with their wives, so I suppose that’s probably how they’re able to do papa-katsu or cheat.
So my question is: For those who are deeply in love with their primary partner and have sex a few times a month, yet still do papa-katsu, how do you reconcile the two? Do you no longer feel guilty? Please refrain from answering if you’re in a sexless relationship.
I’m intimate with my wife about once a week, so I’ll answer with that in mind.
Part of it is that I’ve always been a bit unrestrained, part is that I’m fairly greedy, and part is that I’ve viewed this as something completely separate from the start because it’s a compensated relationship. I think all of those factors play a role, so I don’t particularly feel guilty about it at this point.
It may also be because, for my own satisfaction, I feel that I’m giving back appropriately.
In the end, I like everyone involved.
Some women already had boyfriends, but as their relationship with me gradually deepened, they could no longer handle the guilt. Others met boyfriends and moved on. One woman continued seeing me for meals only for a little while, so depending on the relationship, it might be worth suggesting that kind of arrangement.
That said, it usually doesn’t last very long.
There’s no point continuing if it causes you that much guilt. From my perspective, if you’ve met someone that special, I think that’s wonderful. All I can say is, “Now it’s up to the boyfriend to do his best.”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You haven’t met a good papa (a male supporter) yet, have you?
My ace dumped his girlfriend and chose me. He says he’ll never leave me—even if we get married and have children, and even when I’m old, completely bald, develop a belly, and need dentures.
If you find someone like that, I don’t think you’ll feel guilty about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You feel like you’re trash because you think of yourself that way. Why not stop thinking of yourself as trash? You’re not committing a crime, after all.
Everyone is free to have their own views, but if you feel guilty, why not quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and focus solely on your boyfriend?
And you can’t simply assume that having sex—or being sexless—means there’s no love. Everyone has their own circumstances.
If you can’t quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because you need the money, despite saying all these idealistic things, then it seems like you’ll only keep suffering unless you change your mindset so you can enjoy it.
It sounds painful for you to be carrying all this guilt. Having to meet someone who’s struggling like this isn’t enjoyable for your boyfriend, your papa (a male supporter), or you either.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Men’s brains are wired to spread their seed as widely as possible, which is why the species hasn’t gone extinct—so they can do it as much as they want.
When I was married, I would’ve gladly done it as much as possible if I’d had the chance. I just couldn’t afford it. It wasn’t a completely sexless marriage, though. I didn’t feel guilty.
As long as you avoid catching anything and take it to the grave without getting caught, there’s no problem.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Your desire for money outweighs your guilt, doesn’t it?
If you know you’re a terrible person, don’t talk about feeling guilty—just play the part perfectly.
Akari
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
