My papa (a male supporter) mistakenly thinks I’m crazy about sex, and I’m unsure whether to tell him how I really feel.
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Maybe because I tell him it feels good during intimacy, he seems to think I absolutely love sex.
He wants to go for a second round every time, gives me sex toys even though I never asked for them, and insists on oral sex every time (telling me exactly what to do, like “lick my balls,” “lick the head,” or “lick here”).
When we haven’t seen each other for a while, he even messages me things like, “Aren’t you getting pent up by now?”
The allowance went from 50,000 yen per meeting to 100,000 yen a month, and he wants to see me several times. I want to tell him, “I’d prefer the third time to be dinner only (no intimacy),” but since he’s mainly looking for an adult relationship (intimate), would telling him how I feel just upset him?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
There are so many men who completely misunderstand and assume that women love sex just as much as they do.
Of course, there are probably women like Marika and me who genuinely enjoy it, but…
Try scheduling something afterward to keep your time together short, or find a hobby that gets you out and about and invite your papa (a male supporter) on dates where you take him along.
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If it were me, I’d only meet twice a month, using reasons like “I’m busy with work,” and make it sound like, “I want to see you, but I can’t.”
You don’t have to outright say, “Having sex with you is difficult for me,” but I do think you should gradually steer things toward meeting less often.
If your papa (a male supporter) is a good person, meeting three times a month might be fine. But if he initially offered 50,000 yen per pay-per-meeting and then wants to meet repeatedly for a monthly allowance of 100,000 yen, that feels stingy and like he’s taking advantage of you. Above all, you shouldn’t push yourself.
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I think he wants a second round because he can’t feel satisfied with just one round with you.
You should probably assume that this papa may drift away if he finds a woman who can satisfy him in just one round.
Also, if he can’t feel satisfied after one round, it may be difficult to keep things to dinner only.
I’m sure there are men who would be satisfied with you after just one round—or even just having dinner with you without anything intimate.
There’s no point in meeting when neither of you feels any benefit or attraction.
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“I enjoy being intimate with you, but I’m sensitive down there and it ends up hurting, so I’d like to limit our adult relationship to one pay-per-meeting allowance per visit, up to three times a month.” That seems like the safest way to put it.
The key is to say “three times a month” and make him feel that, when averaged out per meeting, it’s a pretty good deal so he’ll agree. If you go back to 50,000 per meeting or say you’ll only meet twice a month, a guy like this will probably start looking for someone else. The trick is to make it feel like a reasonable bargain.
Of course, if another arrangement offering more than 50,000 per meeting comes along, you can just cut him loose.
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The fact that you’ve let so many things slide is what led to the situation you’re in now.
Do you like intimacy? Either way, you need to make him understand once again that this is an allowance-based relationship, or your allowance will probably gradually disappear.
As preparation for saying goodbye to your current papa, you should start looking for someone new as soon as possible.
Next time, think about what you can do to avoid ending up in a situation like this again.
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I think things get complicated because you’re putting on an awkward act. That said, suddenly dropping the act and speaking your true feelings would probably create friction, so I think it’s best to gradually adjust your behavior.
As for him wanting to meet so many times, though, I don’t think you can avoid being clear and saying something like, “Since it’s ¥50,000 per meeting or ¥100,000 monthly, we can meet only up to twice.”
Reflect on the fact that it wasn’t good to give him the wrong impression. From now on, either try to build relationships where you can be honest to some extent, or work on developing the skill to handle people smoothly even when you’ve let them misunderstand the situation.
That said, successfully managing someone while letting them keep the wrong impression depends on the person, and I think it’s something you either have an aptitude for or you don’t.
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Basically, I think men who sign up with dating clubs tend to be quite sexually active, so they assume all the women they meet through the club must be the same（笑）
You could simply say, “For the third meeting, I’d prefer to just have dinner.” It depends on how your papa (a male supporter) responds, but he’s not an animal, so he may come up with another solution.
Even in a dating-club relationship, it’s not just about physical intimacy—both people’s feelings matter, too. Talk things through and try to maintain an arrangement that doesn’t put too much pressure on either of you.
Come to think of it, I’ve had several conversations like this when similar issues came up. My partner was barely in her twenties, and I didn’t always know how to understand or interact with her, either.
Looking back, those conversations actually made our relationship with each other deeper and stronger. We’ve been seeing each other for four years now, and we don’t really need to talk things through like that anymore, but it brings back memories（笑）
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He sounds like a pretty clueless papa, so if you tell him how you feel, I’m sure he’ll feel bad—not just mentally, but physically too.
Also, unfortunately, I think it would be extremely difficult—practically impossible—to fix the arrangement at this point. Your only options are to give up and keep accepting it, or put up with it while looking for a better papa.
Once you let something slide, it’s very hard to correct the course later, which is why setting the terms from the beginning is so important.
Trying to meet multiple times a month for 100,000 yen, with two rounds every time… I honestly don’t even know what kind of bad joke that is.
Even if we assume the arrangement is 50,000 yen per adult relationship (plus 10,000 yen for dinner), then if you meet twice a month for two rounds each time, plus one dinner-only meeting, that would come to 230,000 yen a month in my case—four adult meetings, with dinner included each time and paid separately, plus three dinner-only meetings.
But I certainly wouldn’t be doing two rounds every time.
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Have him switch you back to a pay-per-meeting arrangement at 50,000 yen.
A monthly arrangement can be reassuring since you receive your allowance even when you can’t meet, but if the goal is to pay you less than with pay-per-meeting, I think it’s better to stop. Wouldn’t that just build up resentment?!
Is it really a problem if he tells me to lick him there while I’m giving him a blowjob? I actually appreciate it.
If you don’t even want to give a blowjob, then I don’t think a monthly arrangement is right for you.
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Let’s start by saying the papa is already falling right into the questioner’s trap, so that’s a good thing.
That said, the allowance is way too low. The only papa who can get away with 5 per pay-per-meeting is a clean, skilled lover.
By the way, out of my more than ten monthly arrangements, if I’m being extremely generous, I’d say maybe two of them would still have sex with me without an allowance. Probably just one. Actually, maybe none, lol.
At the end of the day, my regulars only enjoy themselves during sex because my allowance is high. If I were offering just 5 per meeting, I don’t think a single one of them would climax. That’s just reality.
Today I’m traveling outside my area for a full-day date, from lunch through a late dinner, for 15. We’ll spend two hours together as an adult relationship somewhere along the way. Since the allowance isn’t bad, I’m sure she’ll be moaning, but in her head she’ll probably be chanting, “Ten-thousand-yen bills, ten-thousand-yen bills♡”
Tomorrow I’m having a lunch date in Nagoya with someone I haven’t seen in a while—the allowance is 3—and honestly, I’m looking forward to tomorrow more♡
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