Nice to meet you.

Like many others, Joe also believes that a dating club isn’t an appropriate place to give up one’s virginity. Everyone may have their own reasons for feeling that way, but perhaps it’s because there’s some ethical concern involved. That’s probably why phrases like “someone you truly love” and “someone you won’t regret it with” tend to come up. I’m not making fun of anyone, of course. Even Joe, whose mouth would surely twist if he tried to talk about ethics, finds himself bringing ethics into this issue—which may get to the heart of the matter. That said, questions of this kind do appear on this forum from time to time. So although they may be in the minority, I’ve come to think that if there are women who join a club to lose their virginity—and male members willing to meet that need—then it’s really not for outsiders to criticize. In any case, I hope you receive an offer from a man who understands your feelings and gently guides you through the process. I’m not saying letter dating is a bad thing, but any man who says, “Since we’ve exchanged letters, let’s do it from the very first meeting,” is the furthest possible match from what you’re looking for. My reaction is basically, “Get lost!” Since saying that outright would only create friction, please decline politely. I hope you have a wonderful encounter.

Since he offered only half the usual fee for a letter date and said, “It’s a waste of both our time to meet for dinner twice. We’ve already exchanged messages, so if we don’t click the first time, that’s simply how it is,” I think it’s best to decline. His behavior is far from gentlemanly and makes him seem seriously short on money. Whether you’re a virgin or not is irrelevant. If a dating club only conducts perfunctory interviews and has an evaluation system that can’t screen out men like this, it might as well do away with them altogether.

You mentioned joining a dating club because you wanted to meet someone experienced, but in my personal opinion, not everyone there will necessarily be skilled. Perhaps you’re afraid of the pain, but it may be difficult for it to be completely painless… Take time to imagine how you feel now—and how you might feel decades from now—and think it through carefully. There’s no need to rush. At the very least, I recommend explaining your circumstances and choosing someone who will treat you with care. Please think carefully about whether you might regret it if, somewhere down the line, you meet someone you truly love.

I think you should reconsider seeing this man. With a Type B arrangement, it simply means there may be potential after the second meeting onward. Even if it is your second meeting, you’re not obligated to decide that it must develop into a relationship. The woman I’m closest to now started with a letter date, followed by two dinner dates, and then it developed into an adult relationship (intimate). Counting the letter-date exchange as the first meeting is just this man’s personal rule. The women he dated before probably heard the same thing, thought, “I guess that’s how it works,” and reluctantly convinced themselves to accept it. Unfortunately, it’s not true that most men from these clubs are particularly skilled. In fact, when I talk with women I’m close to who are dating men from clubs, they’re more likely to say that there aren’t many skilled men there. I’m not going to say something naïve like you should lose your virginity with someone you love, but no matter where you look, whether you meet someone skilled ultimately comes down to luck.

I recommend losing your virginity outside papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). So gently tell that papa (a male supporter), “I’d like to have dinner with you a few times before I graduate.” I think you should find someone you’ll be able to look back on later and think, “I’m glad he was my first.” In that sense, I recommend a women-only escort service. If you explain your situation to the male therapist, he’ll help you graduate gently. And, best of all, they’re young and handsome, so you can feel good about yourself for the rest of your life. There are plenty of tall therapists, too. The therapists at women-only escort services and the papas from Universe are all players. Handsome Keio boys are even bigger players. And of course, the Johnny’s boys are constantly hooking up with their fans too. In other words, every man without exception is a player—there’s no such thing as a genuinely faithful man. So wouldn’t it be better to choose someone young, tall, and handsome? Besides, they’re all experienced when it comes to sex, so they’re good at it. If they were bad in bed, they wouldn’t get repeat customers. Helping women lose their virginity is also part of their job, so they’re more accustomed to virgins than any other kind of man and will treat you gently. Most importantly, you won’t be left with any regret about having “sold” your virginity to an older man. Once you’ve safely graduated, though, please come over to our side—papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). We papas will be waiting with open arms for the wonderful lady you’ll become. P.S. My longtime girlfriend goes to a women-only escort service. P.P.S. The person who took my virginity was a plump, middle-aged beast from Kanazukin—my first kiss too. It was a terrible memory, but I’m still living happily and don’t particularly regret it. So maybe the past doesn’t matter as long as things are good now.

Since you’re already in contact with him, I think it’s best for both of you to simply tell him how you feel. From his perspective, he won’t have to go out for dinner twice unnecessarily, and from your perspective, you can filter out anyone who won’t treat you with the care you deserve. Whether you choose to turn your precious virginity into an allowance or make it a wonderful memory with someone you love, the important thing is to be overly cautious so you don’t end up regretting it.

Where and how you choose to lose your virginity is entirely up to you, but you should probably assume that the chances of meeting someone skilled at a dating club are pretty low. I could forgive a young, inexperienced, awkward guy for being bad at it, but I wouldn’t want an older guy who thinks he’s good at it. (Just my personal opinion.) Marika Ah, Taro-san’s vibe is ideal for a relaxed, mature gentleman. I don’t know whether he’s actually good at it, though (lol).

Did you clearly tell him you were a virgin? If you did and that was his reaction, you’re better off walking away. If you didn’t, you should tell him. “Save your virginity for true love” is just a Showa-era man’s fantasy, Paper Airplane-san, lol. I don’t think the questioner is thinking, “Since I’m a virgin, I can sell myself for a higher price,” either, Maezawa-san. If you want things to go smoothly and painlessly, you should choose a financially comfortable man. Making a reverse offer to one of the answerers might be a good idea—maybe Mac, with his trust and track record. Though I hesitate to recommend him since I get the impression a threesome comes included, lol. Oh, but Showa-era men have another fantasy: that if they’re a woman’s first, they’ll cherish her, so I think you’ll be fine, Paper Airplane-san. By the way, earlier “Paper Airplane” got autocorrected to “God’s Misconduct,” and I thought it meant a gift from God, so I wanted to use it—but it seemed rude, so I corrected it. Still, since it was a gift, I wanted to mention it as a footnote. It does make you think about all sorts of things, lol. Anyway. I’ve also been with a virgin through a dating club, but at first she was so guarded that I couldn’t do anything. I gave up pretty quickly, told her it was okay when she apologized, and made sure to give her the allowance. The next day, she messaged me saying, “Thank you for being so gentle with me yesterday.” When we met a second time, she even let me kiss her, which she hadn’t been okay with the first time. Everything went smoothly without any blood, and we continued seeing each other for a long time afterward. I don’t know whether I’m particularly good at it, but I think you need at least that much composure and consideration. Taro

> What should I do…? I think you’re better off not meeting him. > Ideally, I’d like things to develop slowly, so I’m a Type B… Type B means anything after the second meeting, so saying, “We’ve been messaging, and if we’re not going to hit it off after one meeting, then that’s just how it is,” means he’s simply mistaken you for a Type C. So I think you can reply, “In that case, I’ll pass on meeting,” and leave it at that. I don’t feel like this man is a good match for you. Having good ratings doesn’t necessarily mean someone is a good person. It’s a system where your rating goes up as long as you don’t do anything bad. So all it tells you is that he isn’t bad—it doesn’t tell you whether he’s actually a good person. Also, some men will offer a large amount to women who are virgins—¥300,000 or ¥500,000 for the first meeting, for example. Of course, I think you need to have enough appeal for someone to want to offer that much. So don’t sell yourself short. If someone is genuinely a good person, you might decide that the allowance doesn’t matter. If not, you could ask for a higher allowance. Above all, I think you should make sure you won’t regret it later. Some people may think there’s something wrong with aiming for a large allowance, but I think it’s similar to asking whether there’s anything wrong with a baseball player aiming for a high salary. It’s also similar in that the arrangement only works if there’s someone willing to pay that amount.

That’s not necessarily the case. Among Universe Club men who like virgins, there are two types: ① Those who take advantage of their inexperience and want to have things their way, including sex without protection, and ② people like me, who genuinely enjoy guiding and nurturing someone. There’s also a third type—men who simply like being someone’s first. If a type-B guy is pressuring you to meet in person right from the start through a pen-pal-style dating arrangement, I suspect he’s actually type ①. If you’re comfortable with it, I’d also like to consider making you an offer. Please use the “Sounds lovely” feature, leave a comment saying, “I’m the person who asked the question,” and contact me. You can find me by searching for the club name “Mac” at the Nagoya branch. Through reverse offers here, I’ve helped two virgins have their first experience. One was from Hakata, so it ended after just one meeting, but the other is from Tokyo and continues to visit me every month, with her shinkansen fare added on top. I think we’ve met six times now. For reference, I’m currently seeing eight women on an ongoing basis, three of whom contacted me through reverse offers prompted by questions on this site. P.S. @Paper Airplane That rubbed me the wrong way. If you’re telling me to leave, then you should leave. Are the girls I helped graduate supposed to be pitied? I treat them with care and respect, and I’m helping them grow. My wording got a little harsh, but I really like girls who ask straightforward, innocent questions like this. The girl from Tokyo who is currently seeing me regularly was the person who asked this question: https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/12670 P.S. 2 The “good at it” that Marika wrote about and the “good at it” the questioner wrote about are two different things. For a virgin, being “good at it” means helping her graduate with as little pain as possible, treating her gently, and leaving her with a happy feeling. Marika, you completely forgot that part and were imagining something else when you said “good at it,” weren’t you? lol To be perfectly clear, I’m “good at it” when it comes to virgins. As for whether I could satisfy Marika, though, that’s admittedly questionable（笑） It does annoy me a little to see Paper Airplane’s number of likes increasing, but I’m not answering questions just to get likes. I answer questions in hopes of receiving reverse offers from women like the person who asked this question. If these words reach her heart, nothing else matters.

A high rating also means they’ve made plenty of offers. For women, it means they’ve received plenty of offers as well… I hope it’s a club where people can find good partners. That said, I’d rather they give away their virginity outside the club. It’s not too late—you can still leave the club. > Mac, I think you have to push past opposition and attempts to stop you in everything you do. That’s precisely where each person finds value, too…