I’m a man in my mid-40s who spent about five years meeting various women, mainly through PCMAX and similar dating sites, but became fed up with the low standards there. After starting with a dating club, I’ve been amazed by how wonderful it is.

I’ve already met several women through Universe, and I’ve been satisfied with every one of them. I’m still seeing some of them on a monthly arrangement. The women on dating sites often had such low standards that I would show up in whatever clothes were convenient. To put it bluntly, I was also just a scruffy, middle-aged guy myself. (Some of the women were unbelievable too—they would show up in tracksuits or without makeup.) However, every woman I meet through Universe is high-class, and being around them has inspired me to pay more attention to my own grooming and fashion than I used to. Because I have opportunities to meet women like that, I can approach grooming and fashion with more motivation. I’ve also started going to the gym because I want to build a better physique. In that sense, I feel like I’ve found a new hobby I never had before, and lately my life has felt very fulfilling. So this time, I have a question about grooming. This was never an issue with women from dating sites, but among the women I meet through Universe, a high percentage have their VIO area groomed. In other words, they all seem to have no unwanted hair at all around their lower body. I don’t know whether they shave or have it removed professionally. Of course, since they’re high-class women, I assume they take good care of themselves. But seeing that has made me wonder whether I should groom my own VIO area too. The problem is that I’m extremely sensitive to pain, so professional hair removal is absolutely out of the question. (I’m so pain-sensitive that I’d rather stop meeting women altogether than get hair removal done. I can barely tolerate even the shallowest version of a Dermapen treatment with lots of numbing cream.) On the other hand, I’m not enthusiastic about shaving without getting professional hair removal either. The reason is that I’m clumsy and don’t feel confident I could do it properly. (If there were a salon that would simply shave the VIO area for me rather than remove the hair permanently, I’d definitely go.) In short, I want to do the bare minimum so I don’t make the women I meet uncomfortable, but grooming unwanted hair feels like a very high hurdle for me. To begin with, I actually prefer women who have more hair around their lower body, so I’ve never really worried about not grooming my own. My wife is also the type who says, “Men without leg hair look like women, and it’s creepy,” so I’ve had a fixed idea that hair removal would look uncool. My monthly arrangements are continuing without any problems, so I could certainly keep seeing them as I am. But I sometimes wonder whether I should groom myself in case the women actually dislike it. I also worry that, if my lack of grooming were making things like oral sex or 69 uncomfortable for them every time, I’d feel terrible. I’d like to know what women think about this. I would appreciate hearing opinions from both women and men.