What goes through the minds of men who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) despite not having much money to spare?
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I’m feeling unsettled about a papa (a male supporter) I’ve met twice.
He really acts like he doesn’t have much financial leeway.
For example:
・He takes me day-drinking at a casual izakaya during lunch—one of those places where there are college students sitting right next to you.
・Unless I say something, he keeps me there for 6–7 hours.
・If we go to a hotel and only an expensive room is available, he says, “Should we look around a little more?” and walks around the area trying to find somewhere else.
…and so on.
The first time we met, I thought he might be testing me, so I went out of my way to be very kind to him. But when he acted the same way as though it were perfectly normal the second time too, I couldn’t help feeling unsettled.
I won’t be meeting him again, but I worry that if he keeps behaving like that, he won’t be able to maintain a relationship with anyone and will only end up feeling even more empty.
Are there cases where someone like that still manages to make things work? Or do men like him gradually become more gentlemanly after gaining experience with women from the club?
I’m genuinely curious what motivates people to participate in club activities, so I thought I’d ask.
Experienced papas, I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts.
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I’ve never met a man like you before.
There probably aren’t many men like that, so rather than letting yourself be swept along by the other person’s pace, I think you should prioritize taking care of yourself.
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He’s probably either a papa (a male supporter) who doesn’t have that much money, or one who has money but simply doesn’t want to spend it on you.
If you can put up with it, then put up with it. If you don’t like it, you can simply end things, can’t you?
Even if you try to pressure him, I imagine nothing will change, since he doesn’t have the money in the first place.
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This doesn’t really answer the question, but I’d like to understand the mindset of a papa (a male supporter) who flaunts his wealth while offering a low allowance.
It’s basically like going around advertising, “I’m stingy—how impressive!” So I honestly can’t understand it at all.
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It’s probably not going to work out.
At the very least, you’d expect them to put you in an available high-end room. Anyone would think that’s the bare minimum.
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You probably just happened to come across an unusual type of person. You don’t need to force yourself to continue seeing him—it’ll only wear you out.
Not all men are like that, so be patient and wait for the next offer.
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They may genuinely have no money and be continuing because everyday life feels even more empty, so they don’t mind feeling empty through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Or they may actually have money but, as Marika suggested, are simply testing the waters to see whether they can get by with this level of spending.
The dining locations, time constraints, and hotels would all be unacceptable to me, and I’ve never done things that way since I started. So I can’t really understand that person’s mindset.
My interpretation is that women are looking for something appropriate overall—not just the allowance—and I intend to offer that as well.
Some people have opinions that lean strongly one way or the other, but everyone has their own way of thinking. As long as both the woman and the man are satisfied overall, then I think it works as a relationship, and that’s perfectly fine with me.
Regardless of how low the allowance is or how poor the treatment may be, if there are women willing to accept it, supply and demand will match. Those members will survive, while if every woman turns them down, as you did, they’ll simply leave the club.
Of course, it also depends on what Universe Club is aiming for as it expands its membership. But for now, I have no complaints, so I’m fine with everyone doing as they please.
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I think the mindset is probably, “I can get by with about this much.”
If the failures continue, I don’t think she’ll increase the amount; she’ll probably quit using Universe.
Marika
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That man is simply competing in the wrong arena.
For example, on dating apps and matchmaking sites, I think there are plenty of cases where a man can do well with women as long as he looks clean and well-groomed.
Whenever I see magazine features on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I sometimes get the impression that Universe has a lot of generous (well-paying) papas.
Universe Club is also working hard to attract more members, so I suppose some men who come over from dating apps or matchmaking services are like that.
Among them, only a small number gradually become more gentlemanly through their interactions with the women at the club; those who can’t change eventually leave.
I’m not exactly financially comfortable myself, but considering the kind of place Universe Club is, I try to behave like a gentleman within my means and enjoy it.
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The approach described in the question is quite different from mine, and I can’t exactly observe how other people conduct their relationships, so this is only speculation.
As for how he feels, I think he’s simply acting naturally.
It seems he and you weren’t on the same wavelength, but there are probably cases where things work out because both people click.
Not everyone feels the same way you do.
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