My papa invited me on a five-day overseas trip this summer, but said, “Traveling abroad costs at least ¥400,000, so I’d like to cut your allowance in half after the trip.”
This content is machine-translated.
I told him that if that’s the case, I’d rather not go on the trip and just continue seeing each other normally… but apparently he wants to travel with me.
I feel like he’s being selfish… Is there any good way to deal with someone like this?
Apparently, my papa used to have an affair with another married person without any money involved, and it seems he sees things with me the same way.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
No matter the reason, once you agree to half the usual allowance, I feel like it’ll gradually become the new normal, and you’ll keep getting only half from then on.
If you don’t feel the same way about that papa (a male supporter), it’s probably best to politely decline and say goodbye.
Still, even if the papa (a male supporter) makes that offer casually, doesn’t he realize that if it leaves the woman dissatisfied, the relationship will never go back to the way it was?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Hmm… I’d probably pass on a papa who would make an offer like that.
I’d love to travel, but I can’t take that much time off work, and it’d be a shame to have my allowance cut in half. If he seems approachable, I might try telling him that.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Sorry for making you spend so much money.
I’m perfectly happy traveling within Japan. I think we could have a great time with a two-night trip or so, but… that wouldn’t cost enough to lower my allowance, would it?
Just saying.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Hmm, that’s a pretty strange negotiation (lol).
You could agree to go on the trip, but negotiate your own terms—for example, if the allowance you reduced by half eventually adds up to the cost of the trip, it goes back to the original amount.
In other words, if your usual allowance is 10 and the trip costs 50, you could agree to meet 10 times at 5, then return to 10 afterward.
Or, during those 10 meetings, you could decide that you don’t want to put up with someone being so stingy and look for a better papa (a male supporter).
As Maezawa suggested, you could also gradually shift from receiving an allowance to getting gifts instead, or wait a while and say, “I’m having a hard time financially…” There may be various ways to handle it.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
As for how to handle it...
Why not try asking him, “Buy me this before we go abroad” (something worth around ¥1–2 million), and then sulk a little, saying you won’t go if he won’t buy it?
If he wants a relationship without an allowance, you could change your strategy and ask for gifts instead.
You could probably resell that bag for around ¥500,000, so in effect, you could think of it as receiving a ¥500,000 allowance for a five-day overseas trip. (The idea is to ask for something with a high resale value.)
Since he’s the kind of man who brings up the ¥400,000 travel cost, I doubt he’ll actually buy it for you. Still, saying, “I’m not going because you wouldn’t buy me what I wanted,” seems like a perfectly valid reason.
If he says you’re asking for too much, you could gently explain:
“I don’t actually want the item that badly. I’d be perfectly happy with the usual allowance arrangement. Asking me to go on a trip is basically the same as me asking you for something expensive.”
Though he probably won’t see the point, so don’t expect him to understand.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If they try to cut it in half, tell them with teary eyes, “I wouldn’t be able to get by on that.”
Keep looking for someone else so you can quickly move on from such a cheapskate.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Only go on trips if you genuinely want to.
If you can’t go, just say no. And if you’re uncomfortable with the allowance, you’re better off ending things with that person.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
