I’m really scared of a papa who keeps asking me to show him my ID. I met him through this site, but every time we meet, he persistently tells me to bring all my identification documents, and it’s really frightening. I can’t show them because, of course, my personal information has been faked, and I’m terrified he might turn into a stalker...
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He does give me a fairly generous allowance, but do you think it would be okay to end things with him?
And to all the women here, would you show your ID if you were me?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’ve never been asked that before.
Even if the reason is that they’re worried about underage drinking, Universe has already confirmed my age, so there shouldn’t be any need to show it. (´；ω；｀)
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That man has probably made his own personal information public.
Some people don’t mind sharing details about themselves at all.
I think that’s why people like that want to know their partner’s personal information as well.
Personally, I believe the appeal of being active through a dating club is that you can have an adult relationship while keeping your identity private.
I do share my real name, but I’m vague about my occupation. I don’t continue seeing women who say they can’t trust me because of that.
You may be receiving a generous allowance, but if you and a man fundamentally don’t get along, you’ll probably have no choice but to end things.
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Please report him to the club so they can take appropriate action.
Why do you need to show him your ID?
Since he seems like he might become a stalker, be sure to report him first, then block and delete him.
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I’m not sure what your papa (a male supporter) intended when he said that, but based on the wording alone, it sounds scary… If he’s been giving you a lot of support and you know plenty of his personal information, I can understand why he might feel it’s only fair for you to share yours too. Personally, I prefer not to share personal information, but there was a time when my papa told me a lot about himself without pressuring me to do the same. I understood that he was sharing those things to help me feel safe, so I gradually opened up as well. I think it’s best to share personal information only after you’ve built a relationship of trust. If you still feel scared, it may be better not to share anything yet.
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Why do you think he’s asking you to show your ID?
There must be some reason, but…
If he’s just telling you to show it without giving a reason:
→ “Then how about we exchange IDs?”
→ “Why do you want to see it~?”
If he wants to know your age, address, or something like that:
→ Age… as Maezawa-san explained in his answer.
→ Address… “I have parents, so…” or something along those lines.
Since you’re apparently receiving a fairly generous allowance, I feel that unless you handle this carefully, the relationship might naturally come to an end.
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I’m with Aya on this one!
Basically, you’re not dating someone’s status or ID—you’re dating the woman right in front of you, so it isn’t necessary.
That said, as the relationship becomes longer and deeper, bits and pieces of personal information naturally come up in conversation, and before you know it, you both know quite a lot about each other.
As Aya said, being overly cautious probably isn’t a good thing either, but I also don’t think it’s wise to be completely careless from the start.
Just take things at a pace that feels comfortable. If something seems dangerous, I think ending the relationship is always an option.
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My regulars who I’m close with know all my personal details. More often than not, the women gradually reveal bits of their own information to get me to share mine.
My ace was completely open from the start, even telling me her parents’ address without me asking. I thought she was out of her mind, but later she told me, “I thought I had to go all in so I wouldn’t lose you ♪”
I’m usually almost completely open too. I live alone, and since a lot of girls want to come over, it feels like more trouble to hide my address. Once, someone saw the images from my auto-lock entry system and it turned into total chaos—she burst into tears. Ever since then, I’ve made sure to delete them regularly lol.
That said, I’ve never asked for anyone’s information, and even if they told me, I wouldn’t go to a girl’s home. I wouldn’t go even if she invited me.
There was just one girl who really wanted me to see where she worked, so I went to her workplace once. Seeing her there, I thought she looked handsome. I remember thinking, “I get it—if she shows someone this, they’d fall for her.” So that was her strategy, huh? lol
The papas you’re talking about sound creepy, so you’re probably better off ending things. That said, if the allowance is generous, you could always make a bold move like, “I’d be willing to show you where I work—if it’s your workplace. Shall we trade? ♡”
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As for why he wants to see your ID:
If he simply wants to verify your age, you could say, “I showed it to the club when I registered, so there’s no need to worry.”
But I suspect he may be trying to find out your address or other personal information, so I think you should keep saying, “I can’t share my personal information!”
If that leads to the arrangement ending, that’s fine. If it continues—and you’re not too stressed by it—you could choose to keep seeing him.
In any case, I think you should make it clear that you absolutely will not show it.
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A good papa (a male supporter) is someone with whom you can naturally build enough trust to feel comfortable sharing personal information.
If you don’t want to develop a deeper relationship with him, it’s probably best to distance yourself as soon as possible.
By the way, do you know his personal information? If he’s already shared his with you, he may find it suspicious if you don’t share yours as well.
The principle that you have to offer something to get something applies to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) too, so think about what you’re comfortable offering and navigate the relationship accordingly. But never push yourself too far.
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Someone who makes demands like that is scary.
That reminds me of a story I heard from a woman I met through Dating Club B.
A man who had sent her an offer through Dating Club A asked to see her employee ID, and she showed it to him. After their date, he started sending her creepy LINE messages, so she blocked him. Once she had forgotten about blocking him, the man apparently called her workplace out of spite, and she almost got exposed to her company.
Her boss questioned her about it, but she managed to get through it by denying any knowledge of the matter, and she still works there today.
After that unpleasant experience, she quit Dating Club A and registered with Dating Club B instead. For the record, neither Dating Club A nor B is Universe Club.
Ironically, the woman who told me this story also ended up revealing her real name and workplace to me on our very first date—the same day she told me about what had happened. I thought she really hadn’t learned her lesson, but of course, even if I ever had a reason to be angry with her, I would never call her workplace.
There have also been several women who gave me their business cards on our first date, or who eventually told me their real names, workplaces, and even their home or parents’ addresses as we continued seeing each other.
In the end, I think it depends on how the questioner evaluates that man. Personally, though, I’d be wary of someone who asks to see your ID for no apparent reason or context.
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If he was willing to pay me a lot, I might show him.
All of my monthly supporters know where I live.
Of course, if he seems weird, I just ignore and block him.
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Scary. Unbelievable…
Let’s break up…
P.S.
Everyone says things like, “I got my My Number Card,” or “I got my driver’s license,” because girls naturally get excited and want to be the first to show you. Maybe it also has something to do with both of them using their real names from the very first day…
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I’ve never dated anyone who asked me to show them my ID.
That’s scary. If you’re able to keep seeing each other by simply ignoring it, I’d just leave it at that.
But if you find it too much trouble, it’s probably best to end things.
If he asked me to show it, I would—if he were a papa (a male supporter) I trusted. You could just show each other, couldn’t you? I’d even tell him my real name and address.
Of course, there are some unusual people out there, so if you’ve been seeing each other for a long time, you’ll probably get a sense of whether he’s trustworthy. But if you still don’t trust him or don’t want to tell him everything about yourself, I think it’s better not to show it.
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