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Jun 27, 2022 06:19
14 answers
フラーレン
Male
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🏅 明け方に低頻度で浮上する回答者です
細く長く続けばいいなあ
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’ve had something close to an overnight stay on a first meeting before.
1) If you’re staying over, naturally you’re going to sleep, right?
So the proper order would be to bring it up only after you’ve gotten comfortable enough to casually fall fast asleep afterward—or even beforehand—without feeling guarded around each other.
2) You need to mention the possibility of staying over when making the offer.
And there should be a reasonable reason for it.
For example, if she’s coming from far away and the trip is difficult, you can book a hotel in advance. This applies even if things end up concluding with just the first meeting.
(When making the offer, let her know that you’ll either head home if it gets late or that you’ve booked a separate room for yourself.)
After mentioning the possibility of an overnight stay as above and meeting someone who accepted the offer, I think you can tell whether it’s going to happen by seeing how she reacts when you say, “Well, I guess I’ll head home now.”
That said, I do wonder why you’re so fixated on an overnight stay on the first meeting, lol.
Other
An overnight stay with someone you’re meeting for the first time…
Don’t you think that’s unreasonable?
You absolutely shouldn’t stay overnight with someone you’ve just met. You could even be putting your life at risk. Never assume, “I’ll be fine.”
Women need to prepare various things, and unlike you, the questioner, we can’t do something unhygienic like wearing the same clothes again the next day.
If you’re suggesting an overnight stay, you should buy her everything she needs—makeup, underwear, and clothes.
Even then, I’d still be too scared to do it.
Other
Aren’t you confusing this with some kind of overnight package at an adult entertainment establishment—assuming such a thing even exists?
I can’t imagine most women agreeing to spend the night until morning, alone in a private room with a strange man they’re meeting for the first time. Have papa-katsu men these days completely lost touch with reality? I’d say 90% of women would be appalled by the kind of service you’re asking for.
Or are you an exceptionally handsome older gentleman on the level of Masaharu Fukuyama?
At the very least, I think an overnight stay would have to be on the second meeting, with an allowance roughly double the usual amount, for an ordinary woman to accept it.
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I don’t think it’s about the amount of the allowance.
Women don’t want to sleep next to someone they can’t trust.
Men, myself included, tend to be more defenseless in that regard, don’t we?
I suppose that’s partly because we think that even if things go wrong, the consequences probably won’t be too serious.
Other
Staying overnight on the first date is scary!
Plus, I’d need to bring an overnight bag too (´；ω；｀)
美惺（みさと）
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Other
I honestly don’t understand why anyone would want to spend the night with someone they’ve just met. Staying over on the first date is out of the question for me. I’d need a change of clothes, my makeup bag, skincare and haircare products, and so on. I can’t sleep next to someone I’ve just met, and it would affect my work the next day. If it’s the weekend, I’d rather take it easy in the morning on my day off. I’ve only ever spent the night with a boyfriend when we were traveling, so don’t you think that’s a strange sense of distance?
Even my monthly-arrangement papa only says things like, “It’d be nice to spend the night together someday.” Personally, I wouldn’t see someone again if they couldn’t understand the other person’s need to prepare or appreciate how uneasy they might feel.
Other
Reading your question, I have to admit I was a little surprised.
I can understand that staying over on the day of the first date would be impossible, since there’s preparation involved. But unless there’s a reason like living far away, being told on that same day, “Let’s make the second date an overnight trip!” would also be a bit much…
For the first date, I’d suggest meeting for lunch first, saying something like, “The allowance will be ¥X, plus ¥Y for clothes and other preparations,” then parting ways for a while and meeting again in the evening.
Unless he’s considerate enough to make that kind of arrangement, I feel like he’d probably keep getting turned down. (汗)
Even then, I think I’d still hesitate a little…
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Probably after making a few offers.
Even if you bring it up out of the blue, I think women need time to prepare.
And even after a few offers, many women would still find staying overnight difficult.
You should discuss it with her first and offer an allowance she’s satisfied with. Otherwise, she’ll probably see you as a troublesome papa (a male supporter) and move on.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Wait, that day??
On the very first date??
Even for a man, suddenly staying the night that same day would be pretty difficult—let alone for a woman…
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Can’t we do it twice—once at night and once in the morning—for the same allowance?
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Since you wrote “as expected,” I think you’re aware of it yourself.
Why is it not okay to wait until you’ve gotten to know each other better before staying overnight? Why can’t you continue seeing each other to that point?
That’s the part I find puzzling.
If you’re thinking of it as being like the sex industry, that’s not the case, so I think you should reconsider that.
Rather than just a few meetings, what seems important is seeing each other for at least six months and considering how close and intimate you’ve become during that time.
Other
For a first meeting, I think staying overnight is a pretty big ask.
If I were going to stay over, I’d need time to prepare, so I’d probably turn it down if someone suddenly suggested it. Emotionally, I’d be thinking, “Wait, right away?!” And even though hotels provide toiletries, they don’t have makeup, so I wouldn’t want to go home bare-faced the next day.
Some people may carry makeup with them for touch-ups, but I doubt they bring a full set.
Wouldn’t it be smoother to meet a few times, get to know each other, and then ask, “Would you like to stay over next time?”
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
First, there’s the mental hurdle of staying overnight with someone you’ve just met.
There’s also the practical hurdle of having to prepare for an overnight stay.
It’s rare for someone impatient and unable to give you time to be preferred. Considering the relationship going forward, I personally can’t imagine suggesting an overnight stay from the very first day.
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
If your budget is ¥70,000 for an adult relationship on a pay-per-meeting basis, try politely saying:
“If you’d be willing to stay the night, I’ll give you ¥140,000.”
If she still turns you down, buy a large mirror.
For the record, the only woman I stay overnight with is my girlfriend. I don’t stay overnight with papa-katsu girls—it would just leave both of us exhausted.