I’m single and turning 40 this year. Although an LDP member of the House of Representatives has been causing controversy, I’m sometimes told “You’re wonderful” by women around 19. How large an age gap would generally not seem socially inappropriate? Of course, I’m also interested in wonderful older women. I understand that adulthood begins at 18, while drinking alcohol is allowed from age 20.
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I work in a formal, office-based profession, so I’m concerned about various aspects of this.
I’d appreciate your opinions.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂30s👑Universe male member
This is a dating club, so it’s only natural for things to feel a little out of place.
Why worry about what other people think?
Do your papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) in a way you can be proud of.
My dick is hard too, and I have a respectable job.
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> “I’ll be turning 40 on my birthday this year.”
Why not just write 39? Is there some issue with that?
Personally, I find wording it that way more awkward. The previous question is full of things that feel awkward too.
If you’re going to worry about every little detail because you work in a formal workplace, I think you’re better off staying away from dating clubs.
Besides, even at 39, it depends on whether she looks like she’s in her 20s or her 60s. It also depends on the woman’s appearance.
If someone said that an age difference of only plus or minus one year feels natural, would you only make offers to women aged 38 to 40?
I’m guessing you’d actually think that a larger age gap would be fine too, wouldn’t you?
In the end, I think that’s what it comes down to.
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There’s a huge difference between a handsome 40-year-old who looks like he’s in his 30s and a 40-year-old who obviously looks like an old man. In fact, the young women probably feel more awkward walking alongside you than you realize.
If you want to walk around with younger women without making it look awkward, why not do something about your appearance?
Wasn’t Mr. Loser in his 80s? If she’s more than two 12-year age brackets younger than him, is his girlfriend in her 50s?
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At 40, would it be weird if someone asked, “How many wives do you have?” …Hmm, I guess nobody asks that…
Wait, I mean, “How many girlfriends do you have?”
No, no, that’s not okay either…
The fact that he’s single at 40 already feels pretty unusual…
Anyway, it depends on the person.
If you feel like something’s off, that awkward, flustered mode will probably show.
If you just act naturally, and the situation looks normal, nobody will assume it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—they might think you’re family, a grandparent with a grandchild, coworkers, business associates, conducting an interview, or university alumni and juniors/seniors.
If you’re genuinely alumni, it’s perfectly normal to treat girls more than 50 years younger than you—even women in their 70s or whatever age they are. I still meet up with alumni and people who come by to say hello. If we happen to be at the same competition, I’ll go out for drinks afterward with both current members and alumni. And if they’re nearby for work or a business trip, I’ll go out for a meal with them too.
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Judging by the way you write, you seem like the type who might struggle to communicate with younger people on equal terms.
papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is one option, but you’d probably be better off starting by practicing having normal conversations with people your own age.
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I think any age is fine as long as she’s someone you genuinely like.
That said, I’d recommend choosing someone over 20.
If she could pass as your girlfriend or wife when you’re walking together, and she’s single, I don’t think there would be any social issues.
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I’m in a normal relationship—not papa-katsu—with a woman more than 20 years younger than me.
At her request, the three of us sometimes go out to eat with her best friend, so from her perspective, there doesn’t seem to be any problem. We eat in an open setting, not a private room.
Still, I do get a little nervous, wondering, “How do people around us see us?” 😅
I guess when a girl falls for you, even an ugly guy like me can look fairly young and handsome in her eyes.
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If you’re aiming for someone who doesn’t look like she’s doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—someone who could naturally pass as an ordinary girlfriend or wife—then probably up to her early 30s.
Assuming both men and women look about their actual age.
Marika
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It depends on each person’s complexion, clothing, overall vibe, and age, but to be on the safe side, I’d say a gap of around five to eight years at most.
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