How do women in papa-katsu who aren’t very materialistic come across from a man’s perspective?
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I’m not talking about money, but material things.
It may sound strange to say someone in papa-katsu isn’t very materialistic, but I often hear about women who go out with their papa (a male supporter) from a dating club and get designer items bought for them. I also see posts about it from time to time on social media.
Thankfully, I have someone I meet regularly, and we often go shopping together.
He asks me things like, “Are there any designer items you want? What about clothes?” But honestly, there aren’t any expensive necklaces or similar items that I particularly want. I’ve always been a pretty practical person, so I prefer things that are functional.
We keep repeating this pattern of meeting without buying anything particularly expensive—or sometimes buying something my papa recommends—and then I just go home with my allowance. I’m starting to wonder if he’s getting tired of me.
I know that if he ends things, that’s that, but I’d love to hear what everyone thinks.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I asked a similar question myself before, too（笑）
I usually buy the things I want myself, so when I was asked, “Is there anything you want?” my first thought was, “Plastic wrap!”
When I answered that, if I had to pick something, I’d probably say a chandelier, I was told, “A chandelier is way too expensive!” But it was only around 8,000 yen, so of course I ended up buying it myself（笑）
At that moment, I realized there was such a huge gap in price between the chandelier everyone else had in mind and the one I had in mind that I thought, “I really am just an ordinary person after all!” (´-`).｡oO
I don’t think it’s a given that you should have designer items bought for you through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
I think you’re perfectly fine just as you are♪
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Having modest material desires can be a plus for a papa, but I want to see a woman at her best, so if the return is huge, I’m perfectly fine with her being very materialistic.
The woman I was closest to in the past cost me a great deal of money, but spending time with her was many times—甚至 dozens of times—more enjoyable than with anyone else.
In other words, if she’s “not very materialistic and also brings little to the date,” that’s simply a case of “you get what you pay for.” I wouldn’t want to be involved with someone like that, and perhaps the questioner’s papa feels the same way I do.
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I’m not materialistic either. I honestly wonder why some people need so many designer items.
I don’t think a papa would get bored just because he doesn’t buy you things. If he did lose interest, I’d think it would be because the conversation stopped flowing or you weren’t physically compatible…
I would’ve loved to try the Aeon date that Mac mentioned too. Just wandering around without necessarily buying anything and visiting every shop sounds like a lot of fun. It really does sound like something you’d do with a real partner.
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That actually leaves a better impression and makes you more likable.
Practical gifts are more appreciated than designer brands.
Everyday necessities or makeup from a supermarket or Don Quijote are totally fine, too. If she’s someone you met outside a club, you can even buy her groceries or health products since there’s no allowance involved. Even with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), that feels more natural and down-to-earth—so it’s actually a good approach.
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If that’s really the case, I’m very much into prioritizing functionality. It may be rare for someone in their 20s not to care much about material things.
If you ever part ways with that papa, I’ll be waiting for your reverse offer.
Also, if he gets bored and the relationship ends, it may be less about material desires and more about the adult relationship—being too reserved, not being compatible, or not putting in enough effort, for example.
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Is it common to go shopping together on a date and have the other person buy you something? I’ve never done it—or had any interest in doing it—so I completely ignore those hints when they come up. But since only a small minority of women have ever made that kind of suggestion to me, I assumed it wasn’t common in general.
If the man enjoys that sort of thing, or thinks buying you something will win your favor, he might feel a bit unfulfilled if you don’t react much. If you want to keep seeing him, why not go along with it and let him buy you something? There’s nothing wrong with being influenced by your partner once in a while.
Ideally, I think it’s best to meet naturally and simply enjoy each other’s company. But sometimes the tiles you draw are oddly skewed. A professional mahjong player aims to win no matter what their starting hand looks like. Anyway, it’s probably best to try different approaches and find what works for you.
Taro
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Personally, I find it appealing when someone has hobbies similar to mine.
I don’t think people necessarily do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because they’re driven by material desires, so I don’t find it strange.
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