Men generally don’t have a very positive impression of women who don’t seem home-oriented, right? I feel like men don’t see me as home-oriented at all. I’m a 20-year-old university student living on my own. Of course, I can clean and do laundry. As for cooking, my kitchen is small, so I mostly just boil things or make simple dishes in a pan.

Some men may fall for you all over again because of the contrast with your appearance, so I think you’ll be able to truly appreciate a man who understands you♪ I keep my kitchen spotless too, but I leave clipped magazine recipes and shopping lists stuck to the refrigerator, so it still has that lived-in feel (lol). You could even intentionally leave the vegetable scraps in the sink strainer for a while (lol). Or keep about four kinds of seasonings and oils that don’t need to be refrigerated. Then tidy everything up as soon as he leaves! I don’t think you need to change your appearance (*´︶`*)

If you’re aware that you look unmistakably like someone who does papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), then maybe you don’t need to worry about seeming “domestic” at this point. Your boyfriend may be trying to feel you out—or subtly check you—because you have things that seem beyond what either your income or his could reasonably afford. By the way, personally, I don’t think saying, “My hobby is the usual one—baking sweets!” necessarily means you’re good at cooking. And being domestic isn’t just about cooking, either. Akari

It’s Fullerene! > They say men like women who seem domestic, so I want to come across as domestic. Wanting to “look” domestic just to appeal to men is putting the cart before the horse. But if you’re actually domestic and frustrated that it doesn’t come across that way, then maybe… ○ Keep your nails understated ⇒ It makes it look like being able to cook comes before your desire for elaborate nails. Otherwise, people may assume you don’t cook. ○ Keep some mirin around ⇒ If he says you never use it, just show him! lol ○ Have a few extra seasonings on hand ⇒ Yuzu kosho, kabosuko, balsamic vinegar—anything works. Whether at the office or at home, it might be nice to have the quick thinking to give convenience-store food a little twist. How about that? Personally, I don’t really recommend making a bento for a guy. It can come across as very obviously trying to appeal to men. Of course, some guys love that sort of thing, so it could work if he’s into it. But if you don’t know what type he is yet, making him a bento is a gamble. Also, I don’t really consider baking sweets or bread to be cooking. It comes across more like a hobby or something you do for fun. Being domestic isn’t about cooking only when you’re in the mood. I think it’s an aura you give off when cooking is simply second nature—something you do routinely without making a big deal of it. Even if the kitchen is tiny, people who cook will cook. Actually, if he’s going to complain, make your boyfriend cook too.

I’ve never expected a papa-katsu woman to be domestic. To me, she’s more like a partner I can have fun and be intimate with. Everyone is looking for something different, so it’s worth considering whether a papa (a male supporter) who values domestic qualities is right for you.

When I see a young woman living alone, with a nightlife-worker look and a spotless kitchen, I just assume she doesn’t cook! Don’t overthink it. Next time, try asking your boyfriend, “Would you like to have dinner together?” If he comes over, just cook for him. You’ll soon find out whether your assumption was right or wrong.

Since you already have both a boyfriend and a papa (a male supporter), maybe you don’t need to be domestic? I think you know that better than anyone. By the way, I don’t cook either.

This morning, my papa (a male supporter) made me breakfast at his vacation home. Ah, I’m just bragging about my relationship. “What, whether it makes me look domestic or not?” Who cares about something like that? Marika

I don’t think you’re looking for a marriage partner, so you don’t necessarily need to come across as domestic. But if you’re preparing for the day you meet someone who values that kind of thing, your appearance probably won’t change much, so you could make a good impression by preparing a packed lunch and suggesting a picnic or a drive. If you let him know in advance that you’ll be bringing a packed lunch, he probably won’t make a restaurant reservation. Also, if your kitchen is clean because you simply like keeping things tidy, I’d actually say that already comes across as very domestic. But having a well-used kitchen knife might impress a man. You probably haven’t been cooking long enough to have a knife that’s been sharpened so many times it has become noticeably smaller. Still, if you start using carbon-steel knives and sharpen them yourself from time to time, they’ll develop a character that new knives don’t have. Deliberately using knives like that could be a good idea. Personally, I think a knife made with Aogami Super steel would be ideal, but I’ve heard it’s so hard that even professional sharpeners have trouble with it. So it may be safer to use Shirogami No. 1 steel, or just an ordinary carbon-steel kitchen knife. Compared with someone who only uses a standard stainless-steel knife, you should look more domestic. (Though rather than domestic, you may come across as someone who is particular about cooking.) Incidentally, instead of a Teflon-coated frying pan, having a silver stainless-steel pan around can give the impression that you really know your way around the kitchen. It won’t develop the right look just by sitting there—you need to use it. The downside is that it burns very quickly if you don’t use oil, so cooking with it is difficult. An aluminum frying pan would also be nice, even though it doesn’t show much wear. And having a cast-iron wok would help you give off the impression that you’re serious about cooking. However, it’s easy to tell when a frying pan hasn’t actually been used, so you really do need to use them. A cast-iron wok will rust unless you coat it with a thin layer of oil before putting it away. If you go this far, I don’t think anyone will assume that you never cook. In any case, something that’s well-used but still clean looks completely different from something that has never been used, so it might be worth giving it a try.

I also enjoy cooking and make all kinds of things, but I’ve never actually had my papa (a male supporter) try any of them… With COVID, it’s become difficult to give people homemade sweets, bread, cakes, and things like that in the first place. I don’t think you need to force a homey image. As the saying goes, “Still waters run deep”—it can be really appealing when someone who doesn’t seem like they’d be capable of it turns out to be good at cooking, cleaning, and other household chores.♡ I think you’re fine just as you are(^^) If you live together, your partner will quickly find out whether you’re good at housework anyway… so why not let them be won over by the contrast? lol

I don’t expect any household skills from my spouse, partner, or allowance-based dating partner, so whether they have them or not really doesn’t matter to me. Since this is a dating club Q&A site, I’ll focus on allowance-based dating partners in particular. You generally won’t have many opportunities to have them cook for you anyway, so it honestly doesn’t affect my impression of them at all. That said, I know there are hostesses who are genuinely good at cooking. Still, when someone has that nightlife sort of image, they don’t exactly come across as domestic. If you want to give off a more domestic vibe, maybe you should stop being so into designer brands, which you yourself listed as one of your traits.