This is a true story.

Good morning from Hiroshima Prefecture. I can’t support this. Isn’t that man only after Japanese citizenship? Am I the only one who feels like emotional instability can be contagious? Can that man hold down a job? Are you planning to work and desperately cover your living expenses from now on? To be blunt, being around him would make me feel awful too. And with both of you struggling emotionally, how is that supposed to work? You clearly haven’t thought about the future at all, so I think you should walk away. If you still say you love him, then why not marry him—or do whatever else you want?

I’m commenting from the perspective of raising children. Are you hoping to have children after you get married? You mentioned a mental illness—are you taking medication long-term? Even if the baby is born healthy, if you’re taking sleeping pills, you might not notice the baby crying. There have also been news reports about parents developing parenting burnout or accidentally suffocating their child by falling asleep beside them. No matter how much you care for each other, I believe marriage is difficult unless at least one of you is responsible and stable. Please reconsider carefully, looking beyond just your current situation and thinking further ahead(´･ ･`)

I assume you’re looking for a man’s perspective, so I’ll answer this entirely from that point of view. Let’s say I fell deeply in love with a woman, convinced myself that she was the only one for me, and then told her how I felt. If she doesn’t feel the same way at all, it’s better for her to cut me off cleanly and decisively. “You’re not a bad person, but…” isn’t enough. If she has nothing that can match the intensity of my feelings, she should say so and turn me down. If she’s still curious or something is bothering her, she can continue for a while, but if she calmly considers it and can’t see herself ever reaching the same level of feeling in the near future, she should end it. That said, if you’re meeting in person, there’s a risk he could lose his temper. So make up some excuse, prioritize getting away first, and afterward block him on LINE or otherwise cut off every means of contact. You don’t even need to say goodbye. Just disappear by any means necessary. That’s the important part. If you continue, the man will hold on to hope, and when things finally fall apart, the wound will be much deeper. If you think he’s a good person, the best thing to do is make an immediate, decisive break—a second-one knockout—and let him move on. Based on my own repeated experiences, I can say without hesitation that this is the advice I would give a woman. Women seem to be better at handling situations like this. When the roles were reversed and I couldn’t make up my mind and acted ambiguously, I often got the impression that women sensed it and withdrew on their own. I think men are about ten times more single-minded and foolish than women tend to imagine. It may be best to deal with them on that assumption. If you’re treating this like amateur-style sex work, where people pay to satisfy their desires, then guys like this are easy marks, so you might as well exploit them for all they’re worth. But if you want to live as a decent person, ask yourself: “Is there any love in this?” Sure, money changes hands, but it’s not as though just anyone would do. It may be different from having a partner your own age, but wasn’t it because there’s some “love,” “affection,” or desire to “cherish” the other person that you could say what you’re doing isn’t sex work? You’d better think about what excuse you’ll make when you die and stand before Emma, the judge of the dead. Taro

There are probably cases where someone feels an instant spark at first sight and suddenly proposes. And some of them may even work out. But Joe wouldn’t know. What I do know is that an old female friend who used to work at a department store was often proposed to by customers—about once every two months. She said it wasn’t unusual, and that some of her coworkers were proposed to every month. According to her, those men were almost without exception completely unhinged. Being emotionally unstable is one thing, but being mentally unhinged is even more troublesome. I recommend making sure he’s not crazy first.

He told me I was very beautiful. Women who like foreign men have said they enjoy how they say things like that—or tell them they love them—every day. Unlike Japanese men, they’re more open about expressing those feelings. I assume you want to break things off because you don’t trust someone who suddenly proposes marriage. If that’s the case, you could tell him you’d like to date first and then leave things as they are for a while. But if you don’t like him at all, you could say you’d like to date first, then gradually avoid meeting him very often.

Since you can’t expect things to work out if you get married right after meeting for the first time, tell them you’re feeling uneasy and ask them to wait. While they’re waiting, just wait for their feelings to cool off. That’s the only option.

Either is fine.

Foreigners tend to keep saying you’re beautiful, don’t they? It does feel nice, though. Regardless of any mental health issues, if you don’t intend to marry him, you should clearly turn him down—especially since he’s a foreigner; that part is important. I don’t know whether this is actually one of those cases since you’ve met in person, but romance scams are pretty scary. Marika

Was the person you met for the first time someone you met through Universe? I’m not sure how this came up, but to get straight to the point, if you have no intention of marrying this foreigner, I don’t think you should meet their parents. It would be confusing to suddenly be asked to get married right after meeting someone… People don’t normally say things like that. Turning them down might hurt their feelings, but if you don’t, you’ll only end up making things difficult for yourself. Please value your own feelings. For all you know, they may be saying the same thing to lots of different people.