Do elite men care about their romantic partner’s educational background, etc. (not papa-katsu, but a real relationship)?
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Honestly, I feel like being a PJ can work as long as you can hold a decent conversation and have good sexual chemistry, but marriage is different, isn’t it?
My boyfriend is a University of Tokyo graduate who works for one of the hardest companies to get into. I, on the other hand, went to mediocre private schools in a rural area and am currently a female university student at a private university around the MARCH level through a recommendation.
He confessed his feelings first, and that’s how we started dating. We’re both still in our early twenties, but he’s such a wonderful man in both appearance and personality that, if we stay together, I’d like us to end up together in the future.
Because there’s an age gap with my papa, I don’t lose confidence over him, but when it comes to my boyfriend, I’m young and constantly worried that he’ll be taken by another woman.
When I hear about my papas’ wives, I find that doctors’ wives are sometimes doctors themselves, and many are nurses too.
Are the women that promising, wonderful men want to cherish forever usually just as accomplished as they are?
Compared with someone from Todai, I’m at a ridiculously inferior private university. I think I’m pretty, but every feature has been surgically altered—I’m basically manufactured. I’m the kind of woman who can sleep with older men without hesitation if there’s money involved, and I have no confidence in myself.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
I think you should date with confidence and try not to judge yourself through a biased lens.
Marriage involves all kinds of other factors, so it gets complicated, but being cute is probably the most important thing, haha.
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The definition of “elite” depends on each person’s values, but among people around my age who fit the kind of elite your boyfriend seems to be, and whose wives I’ve actually met, most have the kind of educational background and looks you’d expect. In my opinion, their appearance is natural rather than the result of cosmetic surgery, and their children tend to resemble one parent or the other.
Since you’re in your early 20s, I don’t think he’ll decide to get married right away. It will probably depend on whether your relationship continues. The people around me dated several others before eventually starting relationships in their late 20s and getting married.
Since your boyfriend is also an elite with both a good personality and good looks, he’ll probably have plenty of opportunities to meet other women in the future. I imagine that may be difficult, but as the other respondents have said, it might be worth reconsidering various things.
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A wealthy, successful man from a good family would probably choose a woman who doesn’t cause him any trouble.
As long as he provides her living expenses, he’d want someone who can properly look after the household, even if he secretly has affairs. I don’t think he would choose a woman who does papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). But what would you do if you were in that position?
Also, if he comes from a prestigious family, they may care about her family background and lineage.
You should probably have beautiful handwriting and learn at least tea ceremony and flower arrangement.
Even when attending your mother-in-law’s tea gatherings, you need to avoid doing anything that would make your husband look bad.
Your husband’s work and the tea gatherings with other wives are connected. Rather than being academically smart, I think it’s more important to be socially savvy.
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Is this about romance rather than papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?
It’s okay to delete posts that aren’t related to papa-katsu.
Whether someone cares about educational background depends on the person. If they want their children to be highly educated and not struggle, and think that life would be easier if their children could breeze through tests with just a little studying, then they may care about academic credentials.
For example, some women also believe that looks are important, regardless of gender, because people treat you differently depending on your appearance. They may want attractive genes, thinking that good-looking children will have an easier time in life.
In that sense, everyone has different things they place importance on. It depends on the kind of person they are, so the most important thing is what the other person thinks.
P.S.
Hmm?
Would “Anyone who wants to make a reverse offer to Mac, please get in touch” work?
Come to think of it, there are also women who don’t want to get married but do want children.
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Your warped way of thinking will probably prevent you from having normal communication with people who are naturally intelligent—in other words, well-bred.
What people accept isn’t academic background, but cleverness as a person.
If you’re dreaming while doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) after having extensive plastic surgery, shouldn’t you simply spend your days more wisely?
Before listing his specifications, shouldn’t you quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) first and live a life without feeling guilty?
Akari
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It depends on what that person values, but normally, I don’t think they’d care at all.
People don’t usually respect someone for the things they themselves can do. Rather, they tend to value or admire the things they can’t do themselves.
So the question is whether you make the man feel that he needs you and that you have significant value in his life.
Private universities are all pretty much the same, so you don’t need to worry about that. (If anything, someone unconventional who only graduated high school might be more appealing—you might be drawn to each other and balance one another out.)
If the man himself graduated from the University of Tokyo, he probably wouldn’t particularly see other University of Tokyo graduates as exceptional or elite, and likely wouldn’t find it impressive at all. (I don’t think my own son is especially amazing either—at least when it comes to his university. I’m looking forward to seeing how that may change depending on what he accomplishes in the future.)
What matters is whether he’s attracted to your own qualities.
P.S.
> I’ve had plastic surgery and I’m basically artificial.
That could be a problem, since what he wants most in a wife is beauty… People naturally seek out genes that complement what they themselves lack.
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Even if he really likes you and says he wants to marry you, it could still feel intimidating if his parents, siblings, and their spouses are all highly educated.
Of course, academic background isn’t everything. But if your child struggles academically, people might whisper that it’s because of you—even when it isn’t your fault.
Hopefully, your husband would be the kind of person who stands up for and protects you.
Could you really put up with comments like, “I wonder who this child takes after?” That’s something anyone who’s had cosmetic surgery might face, regardless of whether they marry into a highly educated family.
Aren’t you also judging him based only on his “specs”?
(Though I apologize—I’m sure he’s attractive and has a good personality too.)
If you genuinely come to like each other as people, wouldn’t that be the basis for getting married?
Marika
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I’m not an elite myself, but I think most men would care about that to some extent.
You say, “Honestly, I think a relationship with a PJ can work as long as you can hold a proper conversation and the sexual chemistry is good,” but that isn’t necessarily enough.
First of all, everyone has different standards for what it means to be able to communicate well. Personally, I only want to date someone who’s at least reasonably intelligent.
Also, being a nurse doesn’t necessarily mean someone is intelligent. There’s a huge range in the abilities of nurses. The doctors who marry nurses on the lower end of that spectrum may simply have been swept up in youthful impulsiveness, and men’s preferences naturally differ from person to person.
So, the woman whom a promising, wonderful man wants to cherish for the rest of his life isn’t necessarily an equally capable woman.
And marriage isn’t necessarily something people enter into with the woman they want to cherish forever, either.
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