I’m a Platinum member and have been with the club for five years. A female member said something like this, and my question is whether the women answering here have had a similar impression.
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She apparently received more than a dozen offers right after registering and soon became a Secret member. She said that during first meetings, the men’s conversations felt like a competition to promote themselves, making her feel as though she were interviewing candidates. Almost everyone took her out for sushi, and by the latter half, she became exhausted.
She said she was tired of hearing nothing but self-promotion: how much they earned, what position or title they held at their company, how much they could give her, how often they could meet, what kind of car they drove—in short, it was always about “Please choose me.”
What do you think?
I can’t possibly compete in conversations like that, so instead of talking about those things, I focus on being well-groomed and easy to talk to, hoping to “pass the interview”（笑）.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
Do you offer to women who give off the impression that, like flight attendants or people in show business, you’d have to take them to expensive restaurants even if it meant stretching your budget a little?
Well, whether you take her out for sushi, bring her to a luxury hotel, or offer more than ¥100,000 in allowance, it all comes down to whether she feels she’d be comfortable having an adult relationship with that particular man.
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I don’t really see it as bragging, though…
Maybe that’s because I’m surrounded by people who drive what you’d call luxury foreign cars, so it feels normal to me. Also, when I hear what they do for a living, I tend to respect them.
It’s fine to hear that as a complaint and think, “Then I’ll stand out in other ways!” But looking presentable and well-groomed is the bare minimum.
What draws people in isn’t something as superficial as that.
Akari
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That kind of confidence and composure is what draws people in.
You’re allowed to carry yourself with the confidence and ease of someone who’s “the most popular.”
For example, people who aim for the Olympics all have that thought flash through their minds: “Me? Maybe I could be the best in the world.” That’s how they make it to the Olympics, win medals—and even if they don’t, believing it is what gives them the drive to keep working toward it.
P.S.
A woman I spoke with today suddenly asked me to go out for a meal with her tomorrow.
A woman receiving that many offers will probably find tremendous value—empathy and emotional impact—in things money simply can’t buy.
Today, too, I was told, “You’re a god!”
Even when it’s just dinner, I’m sometimes told things like that. Whether it’s intimacy, or having a palate that can appreciate subtle differences in flavor, there are plenty of things money can’t provide, no matter how much you spend.
And the more popular the woman, the more vulnerable she is to that kind of difference.
Also, you’re free to take everything women from dating clubs or women involved in money-based arrangements—such as lounges or the adult entertainment industry—say at face value. But you shouldn’t write those things publicly for third parties. Readers have no way of knowing what the speaker’s intentions were, or whether it was even true or sincere in the first place. Honestly, it’s not even worth reading.
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Haha, you’ve really been through it too, haven’t you? lol
I suppose women who receive a lot of offers may end up feeling that way. But according to some statistics I saw, the continuation rate drops dramatically after the third meeting, so I think the most important thing is to value each connection.
Even if you don’t receive many offers, having an ongoing relationship provides both emotional and financial stability.
I also often think that since the woman is someone he chose to approach, a man might as well support her for a year or two—not just one or two meetings.
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Really? I’m surprised, since I don’t think I’ve ever bragged or actively promoted myself in the way you described.
I never really thought in terms of passing or failing the interview, or what I should do to make sure I passed. I just tried to be myself and, of course, maintain a clean and presentable appearance.
I’ve been registered for quite a long time too… sweat.
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☆You must be very young. No wonder you find it tiring—you’re just not used to it yet.
The meals are usually teppanyaki, Chinese, or French cuisine. There was one person who took me to Tully’s Coffee, but they probably mistook this for a sex-work service.
When a man is trying to impress you, I think a woman should listen kindly. What’s the problem?
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So there are women who mooch, and men who mooch too.
I always thought it was the other way around, with women saying, “Please, please choose me!” ◝(⑅•ᴗ•⑅)◜..°♡
Personally, I’m not good at actively putting myself out there, but when someone comes on really strong, I just want to run away. I’m hopeless that way. The more someone says, “Please fall for me!” the less I like them (>_<)
So I think you have to adjust your approach depending on the person. Simply making a strong impression isn’t enough to make me like someone—I care more about their personality!
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- A competition to show off → I didn’t see it that way at all. Maybe she’s the type of stuck-up girl who wants to think, “It’s so annoying when these older guys try to impress me.”
- Almost everyone takes you out for sushi → That’s not true either. I’ve been taken to sushi restaurants, Italian and French restaurants, Japanese restaurants, and all sorts of other places. Realistically, the chances of every first meeting being at a sushi restaurant are pretty low, so maybe “I love sushi!” was written in large letters on that woman’s profile…
As for the bragging, I’ve always liked listening to other people talk, so I may just not be the type to think, “Wow, they’re bragging,” over a few stories about their accomplishments. But I feel like it’s more a matter of how that girl interpreted it.
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Were there really that many men saying, “Please, choose me”?
I often hear people say that men talk too much about themselves… lol.
But I don’t think someone who boasts would say, “Please, choose me.”
And someone who doesn’t boast would probably just have a normal conversation, so I don’t think they’d say it either.
So I’m not really sure what kind of person says that. Maybe you just happened to receive offers from men like that?
Still, it’s surprising to hear someone who’s been with the club for five years say something so beginner-like: “I can’t possibly compete in conversations like that, so I avoid bringing up those topics.”
Are they someone who spent five years without ever making an offer?
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I’m in my 30s, but I don’t want to still be saying, once I’m in my 50s, that I simply can’t compete with men like that.
Having a clean, well-groomed appearance is a given, and I think clubs also expect men to be gentlemanly and easy to talk to.
For now, please forgive me if my youth occasionally shows—it’s part of my charm（笑）
That said, I think it would be really cool if I could also be as financially generous as the men the person asking the question feels they could never compete with.
I imagine many women would consider the ideal man someone who is well-groomed, gentlemanly, easy to talk to, treats her wonderfully—including at dinner, offers a generous allowance, and doesn’t make her feel indebted or uncomfortable about it. Not every woman, of course.
I think there are probably a certain number of people like that among both the respondent and the respondent’s papas (male supporters). There are people like that around me too, so they’re my ideal.
If you’re that kind of man, I’ll sincerely apologize.
[Edit]
I was going to apologize, but anyone who says something like that clearly isn’t my ideal anyway, so I’ve decided not to（笑）
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Some of the people I met were happy to talk about their work, while others didn’t go into much detail. More often, though, they asked about my interests, what kind of work I do, and what sort of arrangement I was looking for.
As for meals, I’ve had Japanese food, sushi, and French cuisine at hotel restaurants. One person even said, “I’m not sure what you like, so please enjoy whatever you want from the hotel buffet.” I’ve also been taken to kappo restaurants, tempura places, and Chinese restaurants—not just hotels. I love eating, so I’m genuinely happy(^^)
No one really tried to sell themselves like it was a job interview, but one person did say, “I don’t want to be outdone by the other people you’ve met when it comes to the allowance.”
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Almost no one said anything like that.
The conversation naturally turned to work, hobbies, or the car they drive as we looked for things we had in common.
Of course, we also talked about things like how often we’d like to meet.
It’s boring when the conversation is nothing but interview-style questions.
And I wish they’d ask about my food preferences, too.
Marika
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