Tips
May 27, 2022 09:45
9 answers
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Since I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I’ve become more conscious of whether something might look like papa-katsu. I never used to worry about it.
It’s not so much about being seen by strangers—I just want to be able to explain things if I run into someone I know or they see me.
So I:
- Don’t hold hands
- Avoid walking along busy main streets
- Walk confidently
- Wear a suit
I think about how I’d explain it—work-related, a relative, and so on—and act accordingly.
Other
As long as both people dress appropriately for their age difference, meet in a suitable place, and carry themselves with a reasonable degree of confidence, I don’t think those around them pay much attention.
If anyone does take notice, it’s probably other people involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), wondering, “Are they doing papa-katsu too?”
In my case, I’m in my 30s but can sometimes pass for early 30s, so I don’t really worry about it with women in their mid-to-late 20s. I haven’t met any early-20s students lately because we didn’t have much to talk about, and I’ve never had an arrangement with one continue long-term, so I can’t say for sure. But I imagine I’d be more conscious of the venue and how much physical distance we kept in public.
👨 Male
Universe member
Even at my age, I still can’t quite bring myself to stop caring what people think（笑）
So I’m always sneaking around where no one can see me（笑）
Even when I think, “This place should be fine,” I actually ran into someone I knew once.
He was an old acquaintance, and when he said, “What are you doing here?!,” I just replied, “Well, that’s how it is（笑）”
It was early in our relationship, and she was still a student—a very naive young girl—so we weren’t prepared to deal with something unexpected.
Since then, we’ve agreed that if we ever run into someone we know, she’ll always make sure to say hello. But now that we’re fully prepared, strangely enough, we never seem to run into anyone（笑）
Other
I don’t really notice people staring, but there are occasionally couples who catch my attention.
Generally speaking, things like:
- Two people who clearly seem to come from completely different worlds
(a cutesy, teary-eyed girl and a broad-built man in a suit)
- Talking loudly about vulgar things that everyone around them can hear
(“adult relations,” “at a hotel,” and so on)
- Wearing obviously cheap clothes at an upscale restaurant
(a flimsy, wrinkled dress, for example)
When I see a girl who seems inexperienced, I can’t help wondering, “Is she okay?”
This isn’t limited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but I guess I’ve reached the age where the tasteless behavior of women I see around town—regardless of their age—starts to bother me…
Maybe I should start a manners business for women.
Other
The other day, while I was having tempura at the counter with my papa (a male supporter), there was a couple sitting next to us—spaced apart because of COVID—who seemed to be either doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or in an affair-type relationship.
I’m sorry to say this, but neither of them seemed particularly refined, and they spoke so loudly that I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation.
Whether the age gap is large or small, I don’t think people will stare more than necessary as long as you maintain a certain level of dignity.
When I was 30, my papa was 68, but whenever we went shopping or out to eat, he introduced me as his daughter.
Now that I’m in my late 40s, I suppose people probably see us as either a married couple or an affair partners wherever we go. No one has ever said anything to us, though.
Marika
Other
As everyone has pointed out, if you act too distant, even people who don’t know about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) may start wondering, “What kind of relationship do those two have?”
I generally only see people I’m comfortable with, and we chat casually and enjoy ourselves, so at most, I probably look like someone’s mistress.
Even so, I’ve been whispered about once or twice. But strangely, the people who stare at others and make comments often seem rather lacking in class themselves.
So I take it as a chance to reflect and remind myself not to become that kind of person.
🏅 プロおぢ。ほんとはプロパパと名乗りたいけど名乗るほどの実力がない名古屋の汚っさんです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
- Always have meals in a private room.
- When heading from a dinner date to a hotel, take separate taxis or walk separately—don’t walk through town together.
- If going straight to a hotel, arrive and leave at different times.
These are the basic papa-katsu manners I follow. Just doing this makes you more well-liked by the PJs.
However, if you show this kind of consideration to papa-katsu beginners coming from lounges or men’s esthetic services, the girl may say, “Why? You’re overthinking it, haha.”
It seems that papa-katsu players and everyone else see very different worlds.
迷わない70代
Male
Send a reverse offer to this responder
パパ活歴11年目、回答者歴8年目の関西在住者。パパ活終活中（笑）
Age: 70 or older
👨 Male
Former Universe member
I don’t really worry about it.
To me, they’re simply someone important, so I act naturally and openly around them. The age gaps vary from 20 to 45 years, but the closer we become, the less noticeable the difference seems to feel.
The situations that make me think, “Hmm, something seems off…” are when we’re at a café lounge or restaurant and the man speaks or acts condescendingly, while the woman seems unusually nervous and fidgety.
Even with a significant age gap, you can clearly tell from the man’s attitude that it’s different from an arranged dating meetup. I had a chance to compare the two the other day, haha.
Maybe automatically imagining that a couple is doing papa-katsu just because of their apparent age difference is a bad habit we’ve developed from being so hooked on papa-katsu…
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Men and women who aren’t involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) don’t care about other people at all. (The idea of papa-katsu probably wouldn’t even cross their minds.)
I think the only ones who worry about it are those of us doing papa-katsu (and only a small minority at that).
The best thing is not to worry about it and assume people will mistake you for someone’s girlfriend, wife, daughter, or mistress—or a coworker.