I have one papa (a male supporter) who keeps me with him for over six hours every time we meet and is reluctant to let me leave. Is there any way to get him to let me go a little earlier?

Ask in advance, “I already have plans from [time] that day—would that be okay?” Alternatively, make the date start later, after 7 p.m. Men who go on long dates aren’t necessarily attracted to or satisfied by the length itself. It’s because they like you that much. It’s not that they’d be dissatisfied with a shorter date—they’re happy simply being able to spend even a little time with you, and they’re also happy to keep spending a long time together. Even if a man sometimes wants to head home early, spending a long time with a woman he really likes can still be enjoyable. So if he likes you that much, even a short two- or three-hour date could be fun, feel more intimate and higher quality, and leave him more satisfied. And if the date is a long one on a day when he has no other plans, he might even find it refreshing. But speaking as a fat, bald, unattractive guy called Paper Plane who does pay-per-meeting dates for under ¥50,000, once or twice—or maybe three times—a week, with long dates thrown in, regardless of the class… Why meet someone who makes you feel that stressed? The moment you find yourself thinking, “Every time…” the relationship is already over. You should be meeting someone who makes you both feel relaxed and comforted.

You seem kind, but if you don’t say anything, your papa (a male supporter) may assume you’re fine with things as they are. I think you should say, “I’d like it to be four hours.” If you can’t say that directly, then when arranging the date, tell him, “I have plans afterward, so I’ll need to leave by [time].”

You could say you have plans before or after meeting them. During the day, say you have work or classes, or that your parents called you over if it’s a day off. In the evening, you could say you have to get up early the next morning or that a female friend from out of town is staying with you. If you keep doing this, they’ll probably realize you don’t want to spend long periods together, but the reason should be that “something came up,” rather than “because you don’t want to.” A little white lie can be useful—at this point, you could almost call it good manners. People who like spending a long time together will be dissatisfied if you cut things short, whatever the reason, and if you do it every time, they may move on to someone else. So it’s important to strike the right balance: occasionally spend more time with them while gauging their reaction, keeping them from drifting away. It might help to choose easy, low-effort dates so you can rack up some longer meetings without too much trouble. Taro

Why not make plans afterward and let him know? For example, if you’re meeting at noon, schedule dinner plans for later. Of course, he may still feel unsatisfied, but he’ll probably feel that way no matter what you do, so you’ll just have to accept that.

How about telling him when you meet that day, “I’ve got something scheduled from [time],” and then wrapping things up after three or four hours? If you mention it beforehand, he might say, “Then let’s skip that day and meet another time,” so I think it’s best to bring it up on the day. That said, I wouldn’t recommend doing this too often, since your papa won’t think very highly of you.