Thank you as always.

I don’t think age matters. Why not gently tell your papa (a male supporter) that you were physically hurt and had a painful, difficult experience? I try to ask the other person what they would like, while also telling them what I would like them to do. If he’s a wonderful person, I hope you can build a relationship where you can both figure out how to make each other feel comfortable and happy.

I don’t think you can draw a line based on age. It really comes down to the individual. Some people in their 60s are incredibly kind, always put the woman first, and make you feel happy—people you immediately want to see again. And even among men in their 40s, there are some who are so considerate that you’ll want to meet them several times before deciding. Akari

I’ve never really understood why people lump everyone together by age. That said, men in their 40s grew up at a time when home videos were becoming widespread and AV was becoming mainstream, so you could say they’re the generation that learned more from adult videos. They may engage in foreplay, but many also seem to idolize Taka Kato and want to make their partner squirt, so they can be quite rough with their fingers. Personally, though, I think the truly skilled men are those in their 60s and beyond who still want to enjoy women despite their declining sexual function—the ones who give slow, lingering caresses and keep thrusting vigorously even with the help of medication.

I think both men and women become more refined through experience and age, probably reaching that point around their mid-40s. If you compare sex to eating—with quantity representing the number of times or length of time— In your 20s and 30s, filling your stomach comes first: quantity over quality. If you start noticing subtle differences in flavor, you won’t feel full. By your 40s and 50s, you can’t eat as much, so quality matters more than quantity. All-you-can-eat restaurants aren’t as enjoyable anymore. That said, I imagine there are still people who don’t undergo this kind of change or growth even as they get older. Since they haven’t developed a more refined sense of quality, perhaps that’s why they come across that way to the person asking the question. But most people aren’t like that—it was probably just a coincidence. Also, at any age, there seem to be plenty of people who make everything about themselves. Many also have other priorities that take up a lot of their attention, such as drinking, smoking, or gambling. P.S. When it comes to relationships between men and women, being good at sex is extremely important, but when it comes to that kind of sensitivity— A papa (a male supporter) who can appreciate differences in taste is highly valued too. While the woman is taking a few photos of the food that’s been served, the papa takes a bite or two and reacts with things like, “Wow,” or “This is really good.” Those reactions give the woman a point of reference. When she tries it and says, “I see,” and then understands and agrees with the man’s explanation, it makes the experience more enjoyable and delicious—and deepens her trust in him. Even after many years, she’ll still look forward to asking him, “What do you think?” about whatever he tastes first. Apparently, if all you can ever say is “It’s delicious,” or you can’t relate to the other person’s reactions, your responses gradually become much more bland than they were at the beginning, which can be quite painful. In that sense, a young papa who can eat anything deliciously until he’s completely full is a tough match. You just end up being told, “I love men who eat a lot.”

There’s really no difference between people in their 40s and 50s. It’s an individual matter, not an age issue. Besides, I’ve never had sex that left me physically hurt. I think that particular person was simply especially rough. Marika

I thought there was a difference between men in their 50s and 40s, but what if it turned out that they had lied about their ages—that the man who said he was in his 50s was actually in his 60s, and the one who said he was in his 40s was actually in his 50s? Wouldn’t that undermine the premise of the question in the first place? Did you verify their ages using something like their driver’s licenses? Some men do lie about their age, so judging that “men in their 50s are no good” based solely on the ages they claim could lead to a completely misguided conclusion. Generally speaking, I think it’s more likely to be a matter of individual personality and compatibility: you just happened to have a good experience with someone in his 40s, and a bad experience with someone in his 50s. The question says you’re a woman in your 40s, but if someone said, “Women in their 40s aren’t any good, are they?” wouldn’t you think, “That has nothing to do with me at all”? In the end, I think it comes down to the individual person.