I always enjoy reading this site.

I once had a papa (a male supporter) who really liked me. From our very first meeting, he told me, “I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because I wanted to enjoy meals and fun dates with women. I’m not looking for an intimate relationship.” I was in a fortunate situation: dining at luxury hotels, going on wonderful dates, and receiving a generous allowance. However, as our relationship continued, I began to feel unfulfilled without an intimate relationship. During a day trip to a hot spring, I tempted him, and we eventually began an adult relationship (intimate). But afterward, my papa felt guilty toward his family, and we ended things. I regret that I wasn’t able to become the kind of woman he was looking for.

I guess it’s that I’ve grown distant from a papa (a male supporter) who used to give me expensive gifts because our schedules genuinely stopped lining up. It became awkward, so I felt uncomfortable reaching out, which only made us drift further apart. It’s not that I started disliking him or wanted to end things, though. Marika

It’s been really hard to find a good match. That’s exactly how things are for me right now. Both of my monthly arrangements, which had lasted two years, have fallen apart, so my rotation is gone. I went on a second date with someone new today, but she was 20 minutes late (though she did let me know). We had an adult relationship (intimate), but she clearly rushed through it, looked completely uncomfortable, and hurried off. I don’t think either of us wants to continue. If you call that a failure, I suppose it means I’m bad at judging the women I make offers to and choosing the right ones. To find someone I was really satisfied with—like my previous monthly partners—I made quite a lot of offers. I guess I’ll have to make a lot again this time and help boost the club’s sales, haha. I just wish I could meet someone great early on, without having to make so many offers.

Since I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I’ve never failed to pursue a relationship with someone I genuinely wanted to see, and I’ve been able to keep things going for a reasonable amount of time. So up to a certain point, I feel like I haven’t made any major mistakes. This is related to something I asked about recently, but when the other person ends things after we’ve been seeing each other for a while, I do have various regrets—like wishing I’d done more for her. As Makeotoko-san pointed out in the answers to that question, I think my own position is still somewhat half-hearted and undefined in a lot of ways. That said, I’m not planning to suddenly go all-in either, so I’m thinking I’ll probably just continue as I am. Normally, even when I have regrets, I bounce back pretty quickly, but this time it’s really been weighing on me, and I haven’t made any new offers since then after all（笑）

Hmm, in my case, the biggest mistake was ending up with a stalker (º_º) I think papa-katsu probably works better if you’re able to build some romantic feelings, but I’m the type who runs when someone starts pursuing me…

It’s not exactly a failure, but sometimes I think that if I’d handled the breakup a little better, I might have avoided hurting them. But at the time, I thought it might be better if they came to dislike me and ended things with me…

I’m sorry to offer what may come across as a somewhat condescending opinion from someone in a position to give high allowances, but I think this may be helpful, so I’ll answer. My minimum offer is 10, and sometimes I start at 20. If someone becomes a favorite, I’ll raise it even further. Our dates are short, I don’t send unnecessary messages, and I never make bothersome demands like wanting her to see me as a man. We love each other wholeheartedly in private, but the moment we step outside, I withdraw smoothly. I don’t want to get in the way of a woman’s life. It feels a little embarrassing to say this myself, but I believe I offer the best terms in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). In fact, that’s something I’m very particular about. I go into this determined to believe that there couldn’t possibly be a papa (a male supporter) offering better terms than I do. Every woman tells me I’m the epitome of cleanliness, and some receive over 100 in allowance on a pay-per-meeting basis. Even without offering an allowance, I could still easily pursue women normally. But here’s the thing: no matter how much you improve the terms, women get used to the environment and become complacent in a bad way. I imagine they approach dates with me with about the same motivation they have with cheaper papas. And eventually, that leads to “parting ways.” Why do women let their guard down? If you work hard, good results will come back to you, so why do they try to take the benefits first? As the saying goes, sometimes you have to accept a loss to gain something in the long run. Whenever a woman meets a good papa, I always think she should give it everything she has—and then some. I’d really like to understand the female perspective: why don’t they make the effort? I want to ask them what that pointless pride is all about. There are endless opportunities to meet PJ girls—not only through dating clubs, but also at men’s esthetic salons, lounges, hair salons, and as receptionists, and so on, if you have money. But for PJ girls, aren’t their opportunities limited? That’s why I can’t understand why they let opportunities that come their way go to waste. I wish they would learn from my ace. Every time, she gets a treatment at the salon, styles her hair, and buys a new outfit. She brings a gift from a shop where you have to stand in line to buy anything. She’s genuinely fresh and impressive every time. When someone puts in that much effort, even if she’s already receiving over 100 on a pay-per-meeting basis, even if we don’t have an adult relationship (intimate), and even if we don’t see each other for a while, I find myself thinking, “Maybe I’m still not giving her enough allowance?” Is effort a talent in itself...?

I’ve had plenty of failures. Since I’m seeing multiple people and doing a once-a-month, 50,000-yen pay-per-meeting arrangement, maybe I’m fighting an uphill battle from the start, haha. There have been times when we both held back, wondering who should reach out first, and ended up saying goodbye without either of us contacting the other. - If I really want to continue → I reach out. - If I’m okay either way → I wait for them to contact me. - If I’m ready to move on → I don’t contact them, and if they do, I politely decline. There have also been about two times when the adult relationship was amazing, our LINE conversations were fun, and then they suddenly stopped replying. I never really figured out which message caused it. Even when I showed the exchanges to another close female friend, she couldn’t understand why they stopped replying either… After experiences like that, LINE has become more of a practical communication tool for me lately. There were also about two times when I said goodbye because their allowance was too high, only to later regret not going through with it at least once. My current close connections are built on top of all those regrets.

There’s one woman I still can’t forget (though by now, she’s probably completely forgotten me…??) She was a Type B woman, and both our LINE chats and dates were always fun and lively. On our second date, things naturally led to a hotel, and the mood was so good that she pushed me down onto the bed and ended up on top. She brought me to climax in that position (finishing from riding alone was unprecedented for me—I’d never experienced anything like it before, and probably never will again). Our third date was an outing. On the way home, I asked what she wanted to do, meaning I was checking what time she needed to leave. The moment she said she was fine with going to a hotel, I hesitated for just a second, thinking that maybe she’d prefer to have dinner only that day and save the hotel for next time rather than go to one every time. She noticed, said, “Let’s just go home today,” and we parted ways. After I got home, we exchanged LINE messages, including something along the lines of, “Feel free to ask me out for a date like today anytime…” But she never messaged me again after that. I still regret not going straight to the hotel that night, and I may have been hung up on it for quite a while… Since I had already climaxed while collapsing onto the bed with her on top of me, we never really had the chance to find out how compatible we were when I took the lead either, which is another thing I regret.

I have far less experience than the other people answering here, but… I really regret letting things fizzle out without reaching out myself. I’ve learned that if you want to see someone, it’s important to put aside your pride and clearly tell them, “I’d like to see you.” I still have a lot to learn, so I’ll keep doing my best.