Tips May 10, 2022 07:01

Is there something about me that makes it difficult to keep a conversation going? I think I’m pretty good at communicating. I can talk for hours with men who enjoy conversation, and since I watch the news every day, I can also engage in discussions about current events. I’m often complimented by being told I’m well-informed or quick-witted. More than half of my papas say they enjoy talking with me and only want dinner—no intimacy.

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I’m also quite talkative, so during dates, the conversation is usually the main focus. Even so, there are papas and other men with whom the conversation just doesn’t flow. Unless I ask them questions, I get nothing back, and they don’t ask me anything either—we can’t keep the conversation going back and forth. Are these people unable to keep the conversation going because they’re not interested in me, or are they simply like that by nature? Do they have better back-and-forth conversations with people other than me? ← This is what I’m most curious about.
👤 Asked by Guest 👩GenderFemale 🎂 Not stated 👑 Universe female member
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8 answers

I think you’re simply not a good match with that person. Your options are to give up or keep working on your conversation skills. You could also aim for a comfortable relationship where you don’t need to keep the conversation going.
(3 replies left)
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Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
Even when you’re quiet Even when you don’t talk Can you still enjoy the silence? A relationship where you feel comfortable anyway is the most relaxing one for me. You don’t have to force a conversation…
(3 replies left)
I don’t think you’re the only one who has trouble finding common ground with people (*'▽'*)♪ Even I have certain types of men and women I just can’t get a conversation going with, no matter how I respond or try to steer the conversation (lol). They say you can’t be liked by 100% of people, and I really think that’s true(´;ω;`)
(3 replies left)
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Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中! B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです! 会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
> Do conversations flow naturally when he’s with someone other than me? I’m sure they probably do. And that’s okay, isn’t it? Compatibility shows itself not only in conversation, but also in those moments of silence.
(3 replies left)
You mentioned that there are men and papas who aren’t good at keeping a conversation going, but I think the situation may simply be that: - The conversation flows because you’re naturally compatible. - Rather than it being about you, the other person has strong communication skills and knows how to draw conversation out of you. Even at my company, many people join saying they’re good communicators, but once they visit a client, they struggle to keep a conversation going depending on who they’re talking to. I still have plenty of room for self-improvement, but while my time is of course limited, I rarely find myself unable to keep a conversation going. It’s important to expand your range of topics, but I think developing the ability to draw things out of the other person—including through your overall manner and atmosphere—is just as important. My work also gives me many opportunities to speak with senior business owners and other important people. Compared with them, my own conversational repertoire is actually fairly limited, so if anything, I think my ability to listen and draw people out may simply be better than average. Conversation is basically a game of catch: you need to be able to throw the ball by bringing up topics and catch it by listening. People who can do both are the ones who are good at keeping a conversation going.
(3 replies left)
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Age: Private 👨 Male Universe staff
Compatibility plays a part too. You seem confident in your communication skills, but for example, would you be able to keep up if the conversation turned to anime? Like how the Photon Power Lab in *Mazinger Z* developed an incredibly strong metal called Superalloy Z—but how did they fund that research? Did they make frying pans and kitchen knives out of Superalloy Z and run the lab with the profits? Or take the rotary engine. It used to be called the “dream engine” because, unlike a reciprocating engine, it produced rotational motion from the outset. At the time, famous manufacturers like Mercedes-Benz were eager to buy the rights, but the first engines developed were defective—the apex seals quickly failed, causing the engine to stop. No manufacturer could put it into practical use, but Mazda alone succeeded, making it a “dream engine” in another sense. If the conversation went in that direction, wouldn’t you have trouble keeping it going? These are just examples, of course. Sometimes a conversation simply doesn’t continue because the two people happen not to share any interests. > “Would the conversation keep going with someone other than me?” ← This is what concerns me most. I imagine most people generally look for someone they can really get a conversation going with. So I think the back-and-forth would continue if they were talking with someone like that.
(3 replies left)
Aren’t you perhaps turning this into a bragging story? Are you trying to prove your point instead of having a conversation? You should watch some YouTube videos on how to speak gracefully. Let the men take the lead in the conversation, and never try to outshine them.
(3 replies left)
Maybe he’s not naturally much of a talker, or perhaps he doesn’t like people coming on too strong… There’s no way for outsiders to know whether he keeps conversations going with other people, but you could try asking, “I have so much fun when I’m with you that I end up doing all the talking… Is that okay?” That said, if he continues to see you, he’s probably satisfied with things as they are, so I think it’s fine to leave it that way. If you find it boring and don’t want to be with someone who can’t keep a conversation going, then I’d suggest only seeing papas who enjoy talking a lot.
(3 replies left)