I traveled by bullet train to meet a female member in her late 20s from a different area for the first time. She is a Black A-type (previously C-type). During dinner, the conversation flowed wonderfully, and I told her, “Normally, I suppose we would go on a few dates first, but since we live so far apart and can’t do that, I’m sorry to ask so directly, but would you consider moving on to an adult relationship (intimate) next time under terms of ○○ yen?” She turned me down at the time, saying, “For now, I’m only doing dinner,” but on the bullet train ride home, she contacted me to say, “I’ll think about it under those terms.”

Ah… she’s definitely taking you for a ride. Still, it’s kind of sad when you think about it from the man’s perspective. She said she didn’t want an adult relationship, but the moment she saw a wad of cash, she readily agreed—and then even started asking for gifts. And yet he still wants to go through with it… It sounds like it could turn into a bad memory, but if you absolutely insist on going to a hotel, try asking her, “What do you want?”

> Type A (previously Type C) I agree with Mac-san that when someone changes from Type C to Type A, it’s usually because they’ve either met a good papa or gotten a boyfriend. Even if her papa found out, she could explain it away by saying they only have meals together. And if she wants to expand her network through dinners, a papa she’s seeing—or one who wants her all to himself—should still be okay with that. Otherwise, he’s hardly a man at all, or so it seems. So if you presented your terms with all that in mind, I’d say that was very perceptive. That said, if the amount had been too low, you might have ended up with a bad review for inviting someone who was Type A. (It wouldn’t affect your rating if you invited her from the second meeting onward.) So perhaps you judged the situation well. > I’d appreciate some advice on what to give her for her birthday, or what I should do for her. Since she was the one who brought it up, I think it would be fine to say something like: “What would you like? It’s still difficult for me to buy anything too expensive since we’ve only just met.” I’d feel a little uneasy about buying something expensive when you haven’t even entered an adult relationship (intimate) yet. You could also reply with something like: “Would it be okay if I did that after we’ve met a few more times?” However, there’s also a possibility that she might respond, “In that case, I think I’ll stop seeing you.” Ultimately, I think it comes down to how much you were willing to do for her.

I can’t shake the feeling that this is going to end badly. I don’t think it’s a good strategy, but if you still want to sleep with her, you need to dangle some bait. The key is not to give everything upfront. You want her to think, “I can still squeeze more out of this guy,” or “Maybe I can turn him into a really generous regular.” The moment you give it all away, she’ll probably move on to the next person. The idea of getting rewarded for giving everything upfront is just a fantasy. Something around the allowance level you agreed on should be fine. Since you’ve already established a common expectation about the amount, clearing that hurdle first would be the most tactical approach. The item itself can be anything. To play it safe, go with a popular product from a well-known brand. Choose it on your own without asking her. Asking would only make things more complicated. What matters is the excuse you attach to it: “We’ve only just met, so I wasn’t sure what you’d like. I hope you’ll be happy with it,” or “If we get closer and I learn more about you, I’m sure I can give you a proper present, but for now, I’m sorry this is all I have.” Pretend you’re a popular hostess and make sure to dangle some bait that leads to the next time. Still, honestly, even after going to all that trouble and getting as far as the adult relationship, there’s probably a greater chance it’ll be disappointing. Like one of those bathroom mops with the roller mechanism you step on to wring out—the liquid will drip if you use it, but that’s about all there is to it. Aren’t there plenty of prettier or sexier women out there? You wouldn’t even have to take the bullet train…though I don’t know where you live. If I were in your situation, I’d spend the money on a new setting fee rather than a present. Anyway, keep your options open. That’s important. In a battle of wits between the fox and the raccoon dog, whoever falls into the fantasy first is a guaranteed sucker—like a scallion-wrapped duck walking straight into the trap. Taro

I think it’s best to ask her what she wants. Unless we’ve been seeing each other for a long time and I’ve been able to get a sense of what she wants through our usual conversations—or unless she specifically tells me she’d appreciate anything but doesn’t want money—I don’t choose a gift on my own. If we haven’t known each other very long, I’d either offer cash or suggest going shopping together. As an aside, one of the girls I’m seeing receives unwanted gifts from another papa, and I’m holding onto things that would cause trouble if her boyfriend found them. It would be a hassle if I suddenly threw them away and that papa asked what happened, so I can’t get rid of them until she ends things with him. It’s truly a well-intentioned nuisance.

They’re saying that because they see you as a man they don’t really care about. Wake up!! Also— Basically, I don’t offer an amount upfront before an adult relationship (intimate) (or afterward either, for that matter)… With sex treated like a contract where the price is decided in advance, there’s no real emotional connection. It’s boring. This isn’t a sex club; it’s a dating club. —Paper Airplane And if you’re going to give her a present anyway, it should be worth 20 or 30 times her allowance—enough to completely blow her away. Otherwise, there’s really no point. In everything you do, you’ve got to outshine the other men around her… The fact that she changed from a C type to an A type means she has plenty of money and isn’t struggling that much. P.S. And speaking honestly about the essence of it: letting her choose something and giving her the money for it is safe and sensible. But deep down, she’ll actually think, “That’s so lame”—what a boring guy. What you’re really supposed to do is figure out exactly what she wants and surprise her with it. In other words, that’s what she wants you to do. Deep down, she wants to be with a man like that—not someone focused on the price, but someone bold enough to go all out with an unexpected gift or gesture. Then she’ll think, “That’s my guy.” You shouldn’t be asking an advice forum what present to give her.

Are you really going to ask someone you’ve only met once—and who you may or may not have an adult relationship (intimate) with—for a birthday present? If you want to give her a present, how about cash or a black credit card she can use freely? Or you could take her shopping and let her choose something herself. You never know what she might make you buy, though. I think the best gift is something she actually wants, so tell her to pick out whatever she likes at her favorite store. Hopefully it won’t be her time of the month when you meet next. She’s an A-type, so normally it should be dinner only (no intimacy), but she’s saying she’s open to an adult relationship (intimate) with you—which means she really likes you! So I guess you’re probably fine. Have fun!!

At this point, I think it’s fine to simply ask for extra cash. If you’re both happy with that arrangement, then I’d say you can both be happy.