I’m not comfortable with deep kissing. I like French kissing, but I just can’t get past how unpleasant it feels when someone’s tongue enters my mouth. What’s more, it seems like the worse a guy is at sex, the more he wants to do it.

I think you should simply tell him that you don’t like deep kissing, regardless of who it’s with. If you make it clear that it’s not because you dislike him specifically, but because you just don’t like deep kissing, he probably won’t feel hurt.

I’m Mesei, a female member. I think overcoming something you’re uncomfortable with isn’t easy right away, so why not say, “I prefer French kissing,” or, if your partner initiates it, let them take the lead while you keep your own kisses light? I personally love being hugged, so instead of kissing, I’ll say, “Hug me♡” You could try telling your partner what you’d like them to do as well.

This is just speculation since I’ve never initiated anything myself, whether in a relationship club or otherwise, but once you’ve gotten fairly close, it seems like the other person usually starts moving things in that direction. I’m not sure whether deep kissing is standard, or if I’ve simply only been with people I genuinely liked. If you tell him honestly, he may not necessarily be hurt, but he could feel a distance between you—and in the worst case, it might lead to the arrangement ending. As long as avoiding kissing altogether isn’t an option, I can’t think of any alternative to being honest. But if you avoid kissing entirely, that seems even more likely to lead to a breakup. Some people don’t deep-kiss, or simply don’t enjoy it, so I feel it might be better to look for someone like that. This is just my impression, but in your case, it seems like both the deep kissing itself bothers you and there may be things about your papa (a male supporter) that you don’t like.

If you dislike deep kissing itself, regardless of who you’re with, then I think all you can do is tell your partner that. What do you do when you’re with a boyfriend or someone you actually like? Maybe you could handle it the same way you do then. Do you tell them about it—or do you put up with it even in those situations?! As for how to start liking it… I don’t like it either. Or rather, I’m not very good at it. So I feel bad that I end up leaving it entirely up to my partner. I guess the only way is through practice and experience… I’d like to know how to get better at it, too. Maybe I’d start to like it if I got better at it myself!

I’m more of a French-kiss person. I don’t really understand the appeal of deep kissing that much either. But some women do enjoy it, so I adjust to what they prefer. That said, I also find things like excessive drooling off-putting, so I might be pretty similar to you, actually.

I think it can feel different when you meet someone who’s good at kissing. But if you’re uncomfortable with it right now, I think you should simply tell the other person. It would also be a good idea to explain that it’s not just that particular person—you’re uncomfortable with deep kissing in general and wouldn’t be able to do it even with a boyfriend.

Wouldn’t the only option be to say, “Go down on me,” have her perform cunnilingus, and keep feeling so intensely that you reach climax over and over, entering a state of ecstasy and intoxication where kissing is completely out of the question? Although, once you get to that point, you’d probably be ready to do anything—even deep kissing… I could also respond with a reverse offer: “How about we explore things without cunnilingus, fellatio, or kissing?” But I’d probably get smacked, so I’ll refrain. By whom, I wonder? But what’s the fun in doing papa-katsu with someone you don’t even want to deep-kiss? You should do papa-katsu with someone you actually feel like kissing goodbye… And if you go to a brothel, it’s possible without kissing at all. Male customers also want to avoid kissing women who have been with a large number of men, so both sides’ preferences line up. Paper Airplane A woman immediately sent me a LINE saying, “I’m going to cry,” so I can’t accept the offer. (Huh? Nobody said I was going to make a reverse offer…) Sex involves the heart, skill, and body—all connecting with each other. So even in a world where an allowance is part of the arrangement, if you don’t open your heart (while keeping up a wall), you’ll end up feeling dissatisfied more often than not. And deep kissing is something women initiate. So if a man you dislike tries to do it, you can completely reject him and turn your face away. If he’s the type to do it unilaterally, he probably doesn’t mind anyway. He’s simply clumsy and lacks all three elements of sex—the heart, skill, and body—so he’s probably used to women disliking it. Men who are good at sex are perfectly fine with women who don’t like kissing or can’t do deep kissing. In fact, once she starts doing it, it’s an easy sign that she’s becoming aroused, so they may even welcome it more.