A man I’ve met twice told me as we were parting after our second meeting, “Please contact me once things settle down at work.” Since our second meeting was just before Golden Week, we had talked about how he already had plans for the holiday while I’d be working the whole time.
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I found it strange that he said, “Please contact me,” rather than “I’ll contact you.” So I simply said, “Okay. Please contact me too, ◯◯-san,” and we went our separate ways. It’s been a week since then, but I haven’t heard from him. I haven’t messaged him either.
If he really liked me, I feel like he would contact me first.
What possible intentions could be behind saying, “Please contact me,” and leaving the initiative up to me instead of saying, “I’ll contact you”?
We often part ways with “Please keep in touch” ₍ᐢ⑅•ᴗ•⑅ᐢ₎♡, so I don’t really think too deeply about the difference between “I’ll contact you” and “Please contact me” "(∩>ω<∩)"
If it’s bothering you, why not try sending them a message?
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> I already told him I’d be working throughout Golden Week.
If that’s the case, he’s probably busy and may take some time off after Golden Week, so he may simply be asking you to let him know which days work for you, since he doesn’t know when you’ll be available.
So I think your next move could be something like:
“May X or X at X o’clock works for me. Would you be able to meet?”
If you don’t want to say “Would you be able to meet?”, you could send something like:
“Work has started to settle down, so I should be available anytime after May X.”
> What do you think he means by saying “Please contact me” instead of “I’ll contact you,” leaving it up to me?
I think he’s probably just trying to be considerate. Not every man is overly pushy, after all.
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“Once things settle down at work, I’ll get in touch…”
That’s basically a line people use when they’re turning someone down or ending things.
If the questioner likes her, it means, “Please get in touch with me.”
If she says “I will,” it’s pretty much over, but “please do” leaves a small possibility open.
Also, women naturally tend to send messages and emails that are much longer and more frequent than men do, so if she seems interested, I think it’s best to send her plenty of messages without holding back.
Paper Airplane
Also, when men make an offer, they’ve already chosen a woman based on many of their own preferences—her appearance, body type, occupation, age, the date time and area, whether she drinks or smokes, and so on. Since the woman hasn’t chosen anything at that point, it’s only natural for the man to let her make the next choice.
As a man, you also want to avoid things being one-sided, so at first you’ll probably want to move forward while checking how she feels.
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Maybe he’s waiting to hear from you.
Perhaps he was worried that you didn’t like him, or maybe he meant, “I’ll leave the final decision up to you.” It’s hard to say. If it were me, and I wanted to continue, I’d reach out myself—I’ve regretted not contacting someone before.
If he wanted to fade out, would he really say, “I’ll contact you,” and then not do it? By saying, “Please contact me,” I wonder if he’s waiting to see what you’ll do.
Maybe his attitude is, “I’m not that interested, but I’d be willing to meet if you contact me.” But there’s no way to know.
If you’re wondering about it, I think you should try contacting him.
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I’ve had several similar experiences myself. In the end, we nearly drifted apart completely, although we’re still seeing each other now.
I assumed they would get in touch and waited, but I never heard anything. So I messaged them saying, “Sorry for leaving things hanging,” and they replied, “I’m not good at reaching out first, and I get stuck wondering when and what I should say.” In baseball terms, I guess we both “called for the same ball” and missed it, haha.
If you want to see the person again, regardless of gender, you should take the initiative and contact them. If you send a question, they may feel pressured to reply, so it’s probably better to keep it light and not require a response—something like, “How have you been?” or “It’s getting hot, so take care of yourself.” If they respond, you can take that as a sign they don’t have a bad impression of you.
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I pretty much agree with Early-san.
You’re thinking that if he really likes you, he’ll be the one to reach out, right?
There’s a good chance he’s thinking the same thing about you.
If you’re not having trouble finding other partners, then this may simply be where things end.
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Maybe she told you to reach out because she was concerned that you seemed busy with work, or perhaps she figures that if you like her as much as she likes you, you’ll contact her first.
If it’s the latter, then neither of you is particularly interested, so I suppose this is where you part ways.
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