My papa messaged me saying something like maybe he should be considerate of my boyfriend and reduce how often we meet (for sex). I honestly don't really understand what he's talking about—my papa and my boyfriend are completely separate things, right? It's like saying you can't hang out with your friends once you get a boyfriend, isn't it? Does papa-katsu really involve something this close to romance?
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I have absolutely no intention of having a romantic relationship with my papa. I see sex as just part of our communication. I do tell him things like, “I love you,” but I mean that as a person, not as a man.
Does my papa mean that he doesn't want me to have a boyfriend? Does he see papa-katsu girls as women he could potentially date?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
As you said, now that you have a boyfriend, you can’t spend time with your friends. So perhaps he thought that the “friend” in that example referred to your papa (a male supporter), meaning you wouldn’t be able to see him anymore.
Given your current arrangement, your relationship with your papa isn’t romantic at all.
Marika
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Some men may wonder, “Why did she tell me she has a boyfriend now?”
If they take it as a signal that her boyfriend is important to her too, they may feel obliged to say something like, “Should we see each other less often?”
So why did you tell him you had a boyfriend in the first place?
It may be best to start by explaining that, then tell him that you’d still like to see him as before. Things might continue just as they have.
If he still wants to reduce how often you meet, perhaps he’s simply the kind of man who doesn’t want to see a woman who has a boyfriend.
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Of course I see them as women, but I’ve never felt that I didn’t want them to have boyfriends. I think those are two separate things.
I imagine there are many people who think the way you do, but everyone has their own perspective. To me, a papa and a boyfriend are completely different, so some of the women I see have boyfriends and some don’t.
Out of consideration for their boyfriends, I’ll give up special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. Other than that, it’s their decision, and I don’t think it’s my place to say anything.
So I’ve never felt guilty toward their boyfriends about anything else. That said, I have ended arrangements because of boyfriend-related issues, which just goes to show that everyone sees things differently.
As for pseudo-romance—or satisfying my desire for romance—I get that through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Since I’m only taking the convenient parts of a relationship, my logic is that it’s fine for them to have boyfriends too.
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I think he sees me as a woman, at least ⊂( *･ω･ )⊃♡
I’m the type to run when a guy genuinely falls for me, but apparently if you handle that part well and get him hooked (?), papa-katsu goes pretty smoothly〜♪
By the way, since I only ever meet male members, I’m using this “club activity” to look for my crush (⑅•ᴗ•⑅)◜..°♡
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I give her an allowance because I see her as a woman.
I feel bad for both my girlfriend and her, so I sometimes think we should avoid an adult relationship, cut back on seeing each other, or stop meeting altogether.
But if there’s something I can offer that gives her a sense of superiority over her boyfriend—like sex, advice he can’t give her, sharing secrets, or having helped her with relationship problems from the start—then I feel needed, and it makes me want to meet her and be there for her.
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Whenever I see questions like this, I think the person should ask the other party directly, rather than asking random strangers for their opinions.
I don’t understand why having a boyfriend would mean she can’t hang out with her friends, or why she should reduce the number of times she sees her papa. I think a papa and a boyfriend are two separate things.
I believe a papa sees his partner as a woman. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t want to have sex with her. If he saw her as nothing more than a masturbatory aid or a sex worker, it would be less hassle to just buy a Tenga or visit a sex worker.
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