I’m the Tanuki who just asked whether I should stop seeing her or raise the allowance and meet her again to see how it goes.
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Everyone’s opinions were really helpful.
I think my approach to dating so far has been a little similar to Makeotoko-san’s.
I’m also willing to forgive anything when it comes to an exceptionally beautiful woman, but when I decide to cut someone off, I do it decisively. The only girl I would never cut off, no matter what she did, was my ace. She really was my ace.
Since I started last year, I’ve met almost all the girls in my favorites list within about six months, and I haven’t made a single offer through the club this year.
I’ve even considered traveling to another area or inviting someone over.
After meeting dozens of women through the club over six months, the only one I wanted to see again and never got tired of was my ace.
As Makeotoko-san said, there are certainly countless beautiful women, but an ace only comes along once every few years.
By the way, did you meet your aces mostly through clubs? I’d like to use your experience as a reference.
I’d also appreciate hearing from other members.
As for allowances, including the black-label girls, almost everyone asked for 50,000–100,000 yen, while only one asked for more than 100,000 yen.
Makeotoko-san, do you offer an amount before asking what she wants, or do you ask her desired amount and simply pay that? Your allowances seem particularly generous (well-paying).
I’d appreciate answers from other members as well.
I usually ask what amount she wants and pay it. Then, about once every six months or on her birthday, I either give her cash worth five to seven times her usual allowance or buy her a gift.
The other members’ answers were really helpful, and there were also many points I could relate to, so I’d like to think once more about whether I should change my approach or stick to it.
As a follow-up to my earlier question, now that more people have answered, I especially agreed with Mac-san and Marika-san’s comments about allowances.
I didn’t mention it in my question, but I actually have a similar view, and I posted because I wanted to hear everyone’s opinions.
P.S. I’m not looking for an answer from the mentally unstable M staff member, so please refrain from commenting.
That said, that mentally unstable M staff member really is scary.
Tanuki
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂30s👑Universe male member
The question I answered was closed, so I’m reposting my response here.
Nice to meet you, Tanuki-san.
We’re both in our 30s.
I’ve read through the question so far and everyone’s answers. I occasionally ask questions too, including recently, and it’s really educational to hear so many different opinions, isn’t it?
There’s probably a lot we can’t tell about each other’s approach to relationships or overall vibe just from these posts, but I also feel that we may be quite different.
That said, I think we have one thing in common: compared with the other respondents and the papas they’re seeing, neither of us may yet have such clear standards or the emotional leeway they do.
I’m sorry if that comes across as rude.
I’m relatively young, I don’t look too bad, I can put on a sort of gentlemanly act, and my allowance is fairly decent, so I’m not exactly unpopular, whether at a dating club or elsewhere. But I sometimes let my “man” side show, I’m self-centered, and I like myself best of all, so I don’t think I have the same composure as the other respondents or their papas.
I suppose there are different kinds of pheromones, too.
It’s not that I don’t put effort into papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but in my case, work comes first. Achieving the things I want to achieve is my top priority, and papa-katsu is secondary. Still, I continue because it helps me relax and recharge.
This probably doesn’t answer the question at all, but I think building up experience is important, so for now I’m okay with things as they are.
Maybe things will stay this way, or maybe I’ll change again at some point. I don’t know. But I’m enjoying it right now, so I think it’s fine.
Update (added to my earlier post):
I like everyone about equally, so for now I don’t have an “ace” or any particular order of preference. I also see women outside the dating club.
But if someone who felt like an ace came along, I think I might end up seeing only her.
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People like you, the questioner, are just childish. This clearly isn’t for you, so you should quit.
You ask a question, yet show no respect to the people who take the time to answer.
You’ll only accept “whatever suits you,” and you don’t want to hear opinions that aren’t convenient?
No one would want to be involved with someone that stupid.
You’re basically trying to mind-control people into “only telling you what you want to hear.”
You really do have an awful personality. You’re exactly the type I can’t stand. You’re a nuisance, so please stop asking questions.
Do you really think flattering people like Mac-san or Makeo-san will get you answers that make you feel good?
This isn’t something money can fix.
I dislike people like you even more than that “f***ing old-man girl.” She’s a hundred times better. At least she has some charm.
Girls are much better at seeing through that kind of sleazy attitude, which is probably why you’re always so mentally unstable. And your constant stream of posts is annoying too.
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If you’re looking for someone that beautiful, why not register with a salon?
(Though I’m not sure if she’s currently available.)
I once had the opportunity to see Rin from the salon in person. She was incredibly elegant and beautiful, and had a wonderful personality as well. I thought I’d love to take her out for a dinner date too.
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Judging by how slowly she replies, she’s not interested in you at all for now, and even if you increase her allowance, she probably won’t genuinely fall for you. That said, I do feel there might be about a 1% chance of the two of you developing mutual feelings.
I say that because, thinking back on my own experience, there have been papas who kept increasing my allowance, and I ended up liking them more because of it. But there were also papas I simply could never develop feelings for, no matter what. The difference is honestly intuitive—something I can’t really put into words.
Looking back, though, it may ultimately come down to the papa’s appeal as a man. Also, the ones who increase their allowance tend to avoid saying things like, “I’m paying this much, but what are we to each other?”—the kind of emotionally unstable comment that makes things awkward.
When a man says things like that, the woman starts thinking, “This person is offering more money because he’s insecure,” and immediately loses respect for him. So I’d advise against it.
Men who flatter women and pay them just to win their favor aren’t attractive at all. To avoid diminishing your own appeal, you’re probably better off staying calm and self-assured.
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The idea is that the more beautiful a woman is, the less she cares about the allowance amount. Conversely, women who are attractive but more ordinary tend to be particular about how much they receive.
That leads to the thought that, if there were a beautiful woman like Mr. Makeotoko’s pay-per-meeting partners who receive 50, she might be willing to meet without an allowance.
In other words, there are men she actually wants to meet without being paid—the thing she’s looking for is “emotional comfort.”
The more popular a woman is and the more offers she has coming in, the less importance she probably places on money. Rather, she’s likely fed up with men who try to throw their allowance amounts around. So I don’t negotiate the amount for an adult relationship (intimate), and even afterward I only give a normal amount. That doesn’t mean the relationship ends.
When the allowance increases, it’s not only about the man himself. Receiving that much money unconsciously increases the pressure, too. Because she doesn’t want to feel tied down, she may ignore his LINE messages and minimize the amount of time she spends being influenced by him. When the allowance is lower, she’s more likely to want to meet anyway, because he causes less stress, and it becomes easier to contact him and meet up casually.
Women manage these relationships while finding ways to relieve stress, so the real question is: what position do you want to have, and what kind of relationship do you want to build?
Also, as the allowance gets higher, as Mr. Makeotoko wrote, the man’s sense of satisfaction increases. So even if the woman is completely fed up and constantly complaining, the man doesn’t seem to mind and keeps going all out—lavishing her with expensive gifts, trips, and so on.
The more I hear about it, the more I feel like I should avoid high allowances.
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I met my ace through the club—she was introduced to me by my coordinator.
Beautiful women are everywhere, and these days, I actually have a higher chance of meeting one outside a dating club. Maybe the grass just looks greener, but there were some super-stylish girls at men’s esthetic massage parlors, so I ended up adding three of them to my monthly arrangements.
I’ve never asked what allowance they wanted. In my case, my initial offer ranges from a minimum of ¥10,000 to as much as ¥17,000.
I also raise the allowance substantially for my favorite girls once we’re already seeing each other. Especially when I’m the only papa (a male supporter) they have—I increase it all at once because I’d feel bad otherwise. On the other hand, if a girl has other papas, I keep it at the initial amount.
In my case, I genuinely enjoy giving money, so don’t take this as a typical example. I only see my ace once in a great while, anyway. I’m satisfied as long as I can give her money.
There are men like me among the top customers at men’s esthetic massage parlors, too. Apparently, some of them book a girl for the whole day, then part ways after half a day and go to a hostess club. They want to give money to both the massage girl and the hostess. I can understand that feeling.
On the other hand, I’m not good with girls who get too serious about me—I end up running away... I can’t keep seeing someone who refuses to accept money. It makes me uncomfortable, as if I’m indebted to her. After she’s made me happy, I’d feel awkward and even kind of gross not giving her anything. Maybe I think of the allowance as a tip for her kindness.
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I reread the question from earlier.
If she really is exceptionally beautiful, I get the feeling that it’s less about whether she dislikes you or what her personality is like, and more that other generous (well-paying) papas have already gotten priority. So why not raise the allowance significantly, like Aya does, and lock her in?
If she’s only after the money, isn’t that fine too? It’s a dating club, after all, and your money is part of your appeal.
Marika
Oh dear, Mack and I ended up having completely different opinions.
Update:
I can understand that girls like the ones Mack talks about probably do exist.
Basically, the questioner isn’t having a satisfying relationship with 7, so Mack is suggesting filling that gap with personality, while I’m suggesting filling it with an absurdly high allowance.
It takes time to improve yourself as a man, so wouldn’t money be the quicker solution? (lol)
Makeotoko and Paper Airplane are types of men I’ve never encountered before. I’m honestly curious to see what they’re really like in person. (That was a rude way to put it—what I mean is, are they really like that in real life?)
Everything about this is just so mysterious.
Update:
Even though my answer this time didn’t say anything particularly helpful, I get tons of likes just for saying he should offer a higher allowance. Women are a little strange too.
Men have it tough, trying to match with women like this.
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