I don’t like giving oral sex. If a man asks me to and I say no, would most men get angry?
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I’m going to a hotel with my papa (a male supporter) for the first time soon, so I’d like to hear your opinions.
I have a boyfriend, so I’d rather avoid kissing as much as possible, too…
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Does it depend on the person whether a papa gets angry?
A woman with lots of boundaries
A woman with no boundaries
Which one do you think a papa (a male supporter) would choose?
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I’ve always thought that people who say they don’t want to do this or that aren’t suited for dating clubs or papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so why not quit?
From a man’s perspective, if he’s paying a lot of money but can’t do anything, there probably won’t be a next time. Some men may also try to force things.
Send him a message on LINE or elsewhere saying, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything intimate, so I’d like to cancel our next date,” then block him. Also, be sure to inform the staff about what happened.
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Relationships here generally include sex—or at least, I think most people assume that’s part of the deal.
And oral sex is usually considered an important part of sex. So the path you’re choosing is “don’t lick their genitals, but lick their hearts” (really?), which makes things considerably more difficult.
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I think you’d be better suited to the adult entertainment industry than a dating club.
If you choose the right establishment, there are popular women who offer condom-protected oral sex and genital rubbing, and don’t allow kissing.
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That might be a tough one…
Maybe you could say, “I’m not really comfortable with it, but I’ll try,” do just a little, then say, “I can’t hold back anymore,” and move on to the next step. Or perhaps have him take the lead and do it to you instead?
Ultimately, though, I think it comes down to whether you can satisfy your partner well enough over dinner or tea that you don’t need to go to a hotel at all!
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It’s not a sex industry job, so you don’t have to go down on him.
That said, you do need enough chemistry and enthusiasm to make up for it. If everything feels obligatory, it kills the mood—and if you don’t even want to kiss, it becomes too much like work rather than dating, leaving no room to enjoy it.
You’ll never come close to the purpose of a dating club: finding someone with both good chemistry and physical compatibility. It would also make it harder for the woman to achieve her goals of receiving a certain allowance, meeting regularly, and maintaining the arrangement.
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Even if you have a lot of boundaries, it’s fine as long as you can keep your papa satisfied… Some papas insist that they absolutely want to kiss, after all, so it might be difficult to avoid becoming more intimate.
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I wouldn’t get angry, though some people might.
I’ve never pressured anyone into oral sex, but if someone refused to kiss me, I think I’d end the relationship. That said, I’ve never been turned down before.
If you can’t stop thinking about your boyfriend, I think you should change your arrangement and, for the time being, avoid an adult relationship (intimacy).
Reading your question, it seems like forcing yourself to continue would only make things more painful.
I understand that money may be part of the issue, but there are probably other ways to earn money, and I think you should try to work through this together with your boyfriend.
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Why not stick to dinner only (no intimacy)?
It sounds like you really don’t want an intimate relationship after all. Why not look for someone who’s willing to see you for dinner only?
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I understand how you feel, but in that case, I’m not sure dating through an upscale dating club will be sustainable for you.
If you’re uncomfortable with it, why not change your relationship preferences? It’s better not to force yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable with.
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If she won’t even kiss or perform oral sex, you’d assume she doesn’t really want to be with you and is only putting up with it for the money, right?
I probably wouldn’t get angry, but… if I were a man, I wouldn’t date a woman like that. It would make me feel like I was being looked down on.
Marika
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Men who get angry are disqualified from being in a dating club in the first place. So I doubt there are many of them, but there may be some like that ＞＜
That said, I think most men would feel that continuing to see you would be difficult if you told them you weren’t comfortable with something.
You’ve probably only just started, and I imagine you’re torn between wanting an allowance and, if possible, not wanting to have an adult relationship (intimate).
Men generally see an adult relationship as including other associated acts as well. So when they’re told, “That’s not okay” or “Neither is this,” they’re more likely to feel disappointed.
There are exceptions, though. If he feels there’s something special about you that he doesn’t find in other women, or you have something that makes him want to see you again even without kissing or oral sex,
I think some men would still meet you under those terms.
Either way, if you’re going to set limits or say certain things are off-limits, it may be a good idea to have a reason the other person can accept.
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