I’m the person who asked the previous question.
Mr. Maezawa’s summary was incredibly clear and helpful—I’m truly grateful.
Actually, I’ve received more offers, and around six new dates have been arranged for April and May. For these new people, I’m wondering whether I should negotiate from 50,000 to 60,000 yen, or simply accept 50,000 yen as is.
In reality, there isn’t that much difference between 50,000 and 60,000 yen, so I feel that accepting 50,000 yen would leave a better impression. However, I already have quite a few people offering 50,000 yen, and if I push for 60,000 yen, the arrangement may not continue, so I’m torn.
Would asking for the middle ground—55,000 yen—make me seem petty?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
I don’t think it’s a good idea to negotiate.
Everyone sees things differently, but even with someone offering 50, if you find them especially attractive in some way and want to continue seeing them, then there’s nothing wrong with continuing the relationship.
Personally, rather than having that kind of negotiation, I think it would be better to increase the number of times you meet people offering 100 or 80, or deepen the relationship and work toward increasing the allowance further.
Not everyone is able to receive that kind of amount, so you probably have a certain level of appeal. Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone, but I also feel that people who offer 100 often don’t have a clearly defined standard—the allowance varies depending on the person. I don’t have one myself.
You should consider how you want to approach these relationships based on how much you want to earn each month and how long you want to continue doing this.
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I read your previous question as well.
You say that when you ask men who offered 50,000 yen for 60,000 or 70,000 yen, things end after only a couple of meetings. Do you really understand what that means?
A man who can offer 50,000 yen isn’t suddenly unable to afford 60,000 or 70,000 yen.
Don’t underestimate them.
Put bluntly, there are plenty of women who would accept 50,000 yen, and you simply don’t have enough appeal to make them want to keep seeing you despite paying 60,000 or more.
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Why not just say something like 10 or 20 and see who’s still interested? That’s something you’ll have to feel out and figure out for yourself—you won’t know just by asking here.
Aya is probably right about the ideal answer, but with that many people, you’d have to go on quite a few dates before narrowing things down, and I don’t think you’d be able to coordinate everyone’s schedules. Unless you have an awful lot of free time.
I’m honestly amazed you can handle that many people without putting them on hold or hiding your profile.
Marika
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I realized this when I saw the question about whether or not to give your real name: I wonder if both men and women here include people who use dating clubs as a form of adult entertainment?
If I wanted that, I’d just go to an adult entertainment venue, lol. Since I came here looking for something beyond that, it took me a little while to understand, haha.
With all the talk about allowances, preferences, manners—or should I say “manner,” lol—and birthday presents, no wonder people keep missing each other’s point. It also makes sense why there were so many questions that even the people answering felt like skipping.
That said, I achieved what I came here for, so it doesn’t really matter to me. But if you want the kind of relationship you have in mind, you do need to figure out what you’re dealing with. It definitely isn’t something that happens easily. (T_T)
This isn’t about saying the questioner is at fault—it’s simply a matching issue. I’m sure there’s a good match out there for both sides. Good luck.
P.S.
I guess this wasn’t really an answer, lol.
If you want to focus on negotiating the allowance, I think the questioner’s approach is perfectly fine, and there will be people who are willing to go along with it. I think you’ll be okay.
If you’re a man trying to figure out what someone is really after, though, they’ll probably see right through you. In that case, it’s better to give up and approach it as a transactional relationship.
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If a woman names an amount or tries to negotiate, I don’t continue seeing her.
You can’t really know whether you’re compatible until after an adult relationship, so deciding everything beforehand is pretty contradictory too.
You should just choose based on how comfortable you feel together.
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Even if you’re getting too many offers, that’s fine as long as you can turn them into future opportunities. But it would be a shame if you ended up losing the possibility of any ongoing relationships.
So ideally, you should create an environment where you can at least stay in touch with the men who have offered to meet you, and build relationships in which they continue to like you.
If that’s possible, I think you should communicate with them smoothly and keep things going.
Ideally, you would have an adult relationship (intimate) a few times, make them want to continue seeing you, and then build a relationship where you can say, “I’m tired, so I’m taking a break for now, but it’s fine to stay in touch.”
That said, maintaining this kind of relationship can be difficult, but I think it’s important to value the people you meet.
For the time being, I think it would be best to only date men offering 70,000 yen or more, or men offering 100,000 yen.
As for what to do with the men who offer to meet you in the future:
First, ask them about their preferences. Then you could say something like:
“I actually prefer 100,000 yen, but you seem kind, so I’d be okay with 50,000 yen.”
You may be thinking, “So, 50,000 yen after all?” But for now, you could become intimate a few times, then end things temporarily by saying you’re tired, while adding, “Please contact me again when I return.”
I think that makes it easier to stay connected. Also, the fact that you agreed to an allowance significantly below your preferred amount may leave a particularly good impression.
Of course, everyone reacts differently, depending on the man. But if someone takes it the wrong way, I think it’s fine to consider that you simply weren’t meant to connect.
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I think you should avoid negotiating, as it may make the other person uncomfortable.
If you sincerely engage with your papas, the generous (well-paying) papas who naturally make you feel, “I want to make time for this person,” will eventually remain in your life, so you’ll be fine.
That said, your question gives me the impression that you’re feeling somewhat rushed—almost like, “I’m happy to be receiving this much even though I’m in my late twenties, but I want more money!” It might ultimately work out better if you keep those feelings in check and focus on being a genuinely sweet, straightforward person. Your papas will be more fond of you, and your allowance may increase as a result.
So for now, rather than negotiating, I think it would be best to let things develop naturally and focus on the papas you’d like to continue seeing.
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Personally, I don’t think 60,000 or 70,000 yen is much different from 50,000 yen.
So I turn down women who haggle over amounts like 60,000 or 70,000 yen because I don’t feel we’re a good match. I wouldn’t even meet them once.
No one has ever asked me for 55,000 yen, but as you’re concerned, it does give off a rather stingy impression, so I’d definitely turn it down.
Still, if you want to try compensated dating with someone who’ll pay even 5,000 yen more, then go ahead and give it a shot. You might find someone who wants to keep the cost down by 5,000 yen.
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